We've been there! You're asking in the right place!
Definitely medical detox comes first. Find one that's at least a week. Don't try to manage that part yourself, you can die from withdrawal without medication.
After/during detox, follow absolutely all directions you're given. At this stage you have to accept your ill thinking got you into this mess, so you have to humble yourself and listen to someone else's (who is knowledgeable and experienced).
Long-term, start going to AA and/or seek out inpatient/outpatient treatment programs. Took me about five years to get from where you are to actually be willing to work a program without reservation, but it doesn't have to be that way for you! Step 1 is the key.
Oh, and no matter what you do, buy the Big Book! You're not alone or a special case, you'll be shocked to hear your own story over and over from other people!
I read really simple trashy action adventure novels. I wasn't up to anything more challenging in the first 6 months of sobriety. I used to go to bed at the normal time so that at least my body would get some rest but my head was like a washing machine on spin cycle. I found listening to the BBC world service helped - anything with people talking so that I didn't feel alone.
Eventually it passed, my body got used to not having to take a sedative (alcohol) to sleep and I started to sleep through. It took about 6 months. Then I stated reading the big book "Alcoholics Anonymous" - within a couple of pages of that every night I was catatonic :-)
Found this from another Reddit post, kinda helped explain it:
"The concept of a higher power when AA was founded immediately was attached to religion for most people, because Christianity was very, very popular in the 1930's. Back then, you had small towns and the meetings were frequently held in the local church, which was the social center of town. However, the Big Book specifically states that AA is not tied to any business nor religion. The 'higher power' is simply something we can look to as a reason to stay sober and something to 'offer up' or 'let go' of our alcoholism to. As an agnostic, my higher power is the Universe. I'm sure there is something out there that created all this - but it's certainly not some guy who sits on a throne in some magical kingdom.
Why is this important? I'll stop here and say that unless you're an alcoholic, it's very difficult to understand this, but I'll explain it anyway. Is that you, by yourself, are completely incapable of controlling your alcoholism. People say, "Just don't drink." or "Just have one drink and no more." That is literally impossible for us.
So ... you feel helpless. Alcoholism is stigmatized in the social world - not only if you admit you are one, but if you simply try to stay sober and say "No thanks" when offered a drink. It's very isolating. Being able to give that 'up' to a higher power is very liberating. To relate this back to me - I accept that due to genetics, which can be traced all the way back to the Universe deciding to randomly mutate one of my ancestors' DNA, I have this problem. I can't 'fix' it and become a 'normal drinker' so I need to just accept it (that's the 'giving it up part') and control what I can, which is doing my best to simply avoid drinking."
With that being said, you still do the Lord's prayer and it still has strong religious undertones. 'God' is said 4 times in the 12 steps...
​
Also, most people don't care that you're there because of the court systems. A lot of alcoholics were against AA at some point and/or were forced to go due to a nudge from the judge (myself at 20). It's just annoying when they show up late every time, and are distracting/disrespectful.
I got this one on Amazon last night simply to get the 4am delivery. It was referred to me yesterday.
The Big Book of A.A.
Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book https://www.amazon.com/dp/1893007170/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_WVSXSR05DMWQ3DQX6HY1
Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book https://www.amazon.com/dp/1893007170/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_769GER1H8EGPQBJM6MFX
The AA Big Book works for me
Free PDF:
http://www.portlandeyeopener.com/AA-BigBook-4th-Edition.pdf
​
Amazon:
​
AA has allowed me to grow closer to God and working with a sponsor has helped facilitate that growth.
Congrats! and I hope everything works out for you. I would high recommend going to AA and they will give you a big book most likely on your first meeting. You will get local support system here and also a place to talk.
I really like the 12 and 12 book too.
To find a meeting go here. or google (city name) aa meetings. Some have pretty good websites.
Good luck and I wish I stopped without the law coming into my life.