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First off, good on you for realizing you have a problem. Second, you have made it here, so welcome!
I was the same way as you. Drinking everyday, swearing the next morning I wouldn't drink again, hating myself. Then I finished work, and "woo hoo I feel great, beer time!" Repeat.
One day I just said; "Enough is enough. I can keep on repeating this cycle over and over or I can just stop." I decided I would stop, and that was it. The first week or so I was an emotional mess. The imbalances in my body due to the depressant nature of alcohol did a number on me. I felt like hell. It was rough. Eventually things started to get better. Mornings weren't as foggy, I had more energy, I wasn't on edge like I was while drinking. I started to sleep better, I started to eat better. Everything became better.
I admit, I have a lot of issues that I was masking with alcohol. So when I became sober they all started to hit me head on. I could either face them, or curl up in a ball and go back to drinking. I decided, this is my life. I am going to tackle this problem. I'm 8 months sober, and I am still sorting my issues. I feel I will still be dealing with these issues for the foreseeable future, but they are becoming more manageable as time goes on.
Stopping was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's not easy, but if I can do it so can you. Just be strong. Learn that alcohol isn't bringing ANYTHING positive to your life. Think about that.
I highly recommend you read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking it really helped me to understand what I was dealing with and I wasn't alone.
Allen Carr's "Stop Drinking Now" book worked for me and a lot of people.
It literally changes your view of alcohol and this stops the cravings dead in their tracks.
Please, at least read the reviews on amazon, or better yet, start reading the book ASAP. https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Drinking-Allen-Carrs-Easyway/dp/1784045411/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1519300260&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=stop+drinking+now&psc=1
Yeah, I used to get very drunk every weekend, now I have maybe one drink a month and only get a little drunk a few times a year.
This book was a big part of that - also therapy
There is a book that might help... Allan Carr's Quit Drinking without Will Power .... it's basically the idea that Alcohol is really poison. It's not what we alcoholics want it to be, it really is poison that hooks us into addiction.
I used this one:
Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Drinking
Allen Carr’s easy way book was an eye opener:
This guy wrote a book that helped me quit smoking after being a HEAVY smoker for 20 years. He also wrote a book about drinking. I don't know if it'll help but the book he wrote about smoking changed (and maybe saved) my life.
Sorry for the insane size of the link:
Idk if this will help. But it helped me a ton. It’s a completely new perspective on not drinking. Where it’s not about “Will Power” cause that puts so much pressure on someone. But rather it’s about realizing that you’re free from drinking. — it’s a pretty easy and simple read and helped me a ton. Hope it does the same for you (all) as well.
"Quit Drinking Without WillPower: Be a Happy Non Drinker". I'm reading it now and enjoying it. He's definitely the type of person that has applied his method to numerous personal issues. So, it can be a tad difficult to find the book you're looking for (he has over 20 different books, it seems) With that said, I'm really enjoying the book and mindset.
Sure! You can see his quitting alcohol book on Amazon here.
I've found Allen Carr to be kind of good at trying to help you stop. I stopped before reading the book, but it helped reinforce it. It's not easy to stop drinking when society makes it seem every interaction is based around it.
Amazon link to the stop drinking book.
I think you need to change your approach. By stopping drinking, you aren't giving up ANYTHING. You are only gaining things in your life... I know it is difficult to see at first, because.. well that is addiction. I felt the world was going to end, how could I possibly continue on with life? When everybody else is having fun and I'm stuck being sober and boring... LIES. I recommend reading a book I will link below, it REALLY helped me see that quitting is the right thing to do and that I was giving up nothing... in fact, I have no desire to drink ever again... just like I have no desire to drink gasoline. They are both poisons to the body... and will kill you if you drink enough.
I wish you all the best. It does get easier.
I highly recommend reading this book:
I found the book Allen Carr's Easyway to Stop Drinking really helpful. Instead of telling you to just have willpower, it basically goes through all the reasons you could have for drinking and invalidates them, with the goal of removing your desire to drink in the first place.
Glad you figured it out sooner rather than later.
Like you, I had a good chunk of sober time under my belt when I felt I could control it... I was wrong and within a few weeks I was back to daily drinking like you.
I can't recommend this book enough. It really changes your mindset towards alcohol. It worked wonders for me. Give it a try, it may really help with that feeling of "missing out" because you aren't drinking.
Buy this book. Follow the instructions. Read it... and read it again if necessary. It really helped me. I hope it can do the same for you.
Allen Carr's Quit Drinking without Willpower
I recommend you read this book:
Allen Carrs - Stop drinking without Willpower
It helped me to see what drinking really was and how it was controlling my life.
It is tough, but I assure you can do it if you really want to. Just take it one day at a time. Say you won't drink today when you get up in the morning. Keep yourself busy. Eat your favourite foods. Do your favourite things. Do anything to keep you from drinking. The first week is the hardest. It will get easier each day you move forward. YOU CAN DO THIS.
I recommend you read this book, it really helped me:
Allen Carr's Easyway to stop drinking
Read it. Understand it. Read it again.
I realized when I was 24 that I had a problem as well. I went through a series of quits and relapses. Each time, failing because I felt I could go back to being a social drinker. I am now 38. I have now learned, that this problem won't just go away. This isn't something that is just "okay, you've done your 28 days, you're cured!" You will have to work at this. You've already made the first step, accepted you have a problem and need to stop. Good for you. Some people it takes a lot longer, if ever.
My advice, come here, read the stories everyday. In time you will be able to provide your own support and advice for others. In turn, the new people will remind you of where you came from and why you never want to go back to drinking. At least that is how it works for me.
I recommend you read Allen Carr's - Easy Way to Stop drinking it may give you a different perspective on what drinking is. If you are anything like me, you are far down the rabbit hole and your mind is really messed up.
Good luck. :)
"I know there’s no easy way to get through it"
But there is an easy way.
Allen Carr's Easyway:
All you have to do is read it and see how you feel afterwards.
It's ok to be skeptical but it has worked for many, including myself.
Welcome to SD, u/beefine. Hang in there, starting out can be hard, but the rewards are great. I found in the first days that I was really helped by filling some free hours with Allen Carr's book on how/why to stop drinking. Here's the link--available in a pretty cheap kindle edition for reading on the go. Hang in there!
Thank you for your service, i would start here:
this book definitely helped me get into the right mindset to make my brain want to stop drinking.
I’ve heard people had success with this book
Its not a well written book, but it helped me to quit. I occasionally think about drinking, but its not a struggle anymore. The book explains the cycle you get stuck in, and understanding it helped me to stop.
Allen Carr's Quit Drinking Without Willpower: Be a happy nondrinker (Allen Carr's Easyway, 2) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1784045411/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EGT9E76P2WWB4BVRV6SF
I remember at the time of me quitting it seemed like such a daunting and terrifying endevour. The fears of "what do I do when out with other people?!" "What will they think?" "What will I do for fun?"....
Being sober has been the complete opposite. I don't have to worry about keeping my stock filled, tabs on the quantity I'm drinking, worrying about how hungover I'm going to be the next day, dealing with hangovers, blackouts.... the list is endless. Being sober has been so liberating. I feel free finally. I was chained when drinking. I felt paralysed. I couldn't go anywhere, do anything most of the time because I was too drunk to be seen in public without making a fool of myself and when I was sober, I was a shell of my self as I was nursing a severe hangover.
I recommend you read this book:
It really has helped me change my mindset towards alcohol. It is very helpful.
I feel so much better without alcohol and I never want to go back. It is poison.
I wish you all the best in your journey and if you ever feel weak or alone.... come on here, we all understand where you are coming from.
You may wake up with no anxiety and feeling normal for once after a late night of drinking, but does that feeling persist? No, of course not...it goes away some time after the alcohol wears off. So that would mean the only way to consistently have that great feeling if the only remedy is alcohol is to drink it ALL THE TIME. But you know that is not possible, that you would not be able to function in society and your body would literally shut down. If you find this to be true, how could it be the alcohol that is giving you those powers of feeling normal and anxiety free? In truth, could it be that alcohol is the original cause of those feelings in the first place, and once under its grasp the only way to find relief from those feelings is more alcohol?
"[alcohol] offers itself as a relief from the very problems it causes." --DFW
If this concept is intriguing to you, give Allen Carr and Annie Grace a read. They both do an excellent job of unwinding the myths that society has propagated about alcohol, including how it can feel impossible to enjoy life without it.