Maybe you don't know what you want? Try reading "Are you the one for me?" By Barbara Deangelis.
https://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757
This book helped me figure myself out and who I was looking for. Met my husband soon after and am really happy. Good luck!
I really feel for you. I recommend self help books. (Sorry) one called are you the one for me (https://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757)is good but you might think it's "blue pill shit" (my husband is 46, 10 yrs older than me and he says all the time if he hadn't met me he would still be single, I feel the same about him, your post struck a chord with me) I hope you find someone, if not I'm sure you can be happy other ways. Good luck!
Of course! Just know, the cover is not a good first impression 😂book on Amazon
You could try reading books about dating. These two helped me A LOT. https://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757
I've been happily married for 12 years with two kids. It's not easy but you have to want to be in a happy marriage. Let things go because in the long run some stupid point doesn't really matter.
This book helped my marriage: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Thought-Patterns-Loving-Relationship/dp/1569244758/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1529951855&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=why+cant+you+read+my+mind&dpPl=1&dpID=51E287XNC9L&ref=plSrch I wish you well! Good luck!