What is Reddit's opinion of Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope??

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

I hear you!

Self-medicating the symptoms of autism with alcohol is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism' (been there, done that!), this book may be an interesting read on the subject, I've not read it yet myself but it's on the reading list...

I'm sure there will be more than a few autistic folks floating around on r/stopdrinking if you make yourself known there, it might be easier to find your 'tribe' somewhere like that than it is in real life...

I'll join you in not drinking today, all best wishes to you!

Woody :>)>

Self-medicating the symptoms of Autism with alcohol is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism' (been there, done that!), and it can be a slippery slope...

Drinking on antidepressants also isn't a good idea (did that too!), at best it renders the meds ineffective and at worst, it could have all sorts of strange interactions...

This book co-written by the autism educator Sarah Hendrickx may have some useful insights...

The suggest of r/alanon for yourself is a good one, and if your husband uses Reddit and wants help, we'd be glad to see him here or at r/stopdrinking sometime...

Best of luck to you both!

Woody :>)>

Self-medicating the symptoms of autism with alcohol is sufficiently common that's it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism'...

I fell into the same trap myself! (Never formally diagnosed, but strongly suspected, M 36)...

>Drinking was my shortcut to being social

Exactly! However, when all you have is a Hammer, everything starts to look like a Nail, as the saying goes...

It got me through a time in my life that I didn't otherwise have the tools to cope with, for which I am grateful, but by the end it was causing far more problems than it was solving...

This book is on my reading list and may be of interest, I haven't read it yet, but the author Sarah Hendrickx has some very good talks on YouTube which I've also enjoyed...

I wish you the best of luck on your journey, it gets better!

IWNDWYT

Woody :>)>

Hey friend, fellow ASD’er here: Just solidarity. I experienced my first fully sober party last weekend after learning later in life that I have ASD, and I couldn’t believe how much I was actually using alcohol to help me deal with the sensory overwhelm of parties.

The reason I’m trying to stay fully sober is because I realized I was starting to use alcohol to cope with the stress and overwhelm of everyday life, which means something different to those of us on the spectrum. I’m in no way trying to “give you a pass” and say “It’s OK! Drink yourself silly! The world isn’t made for us, so if you ‘need’ alcohol to cope, go for it!” (Making a hyperbolic joke here, if it’s not clear), but I do understand what you’re saying when you say, “It’s either this for now—until I can find some other effective coping strategies that also meet my ASD needs—or I might un@live myself.”

I haven’t read it myself yet, but maybe Aspergers and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope? could be a place for you to start?

As for me, what I’m trying to do now is just handle my intense burnout. People who don’t have ASD don’t fully comprehend what we mean when we say we’re “burned out,” because it means something entirely different for them. But we know what we mean—sounds like you’re going through it right now.

As I’m healing from my ASD burnout, I’m finding that my feelings of overwhelm about general life are easier to manage, and therefore, the urge to drink (or be in some kind of altered state that helps me deal with the overwhelm of everyday modern life) is much more manageable, and also, things that used to bring me joy are fun once again.

Oh, also check out the book “Burnout” by the Nagoski sisters. Funnily enough, they both wound up getting diagnosed with ASD after the book came out! I was wondering why their stories of what was burning them out sounded so familiar and relatable, and how surprisingly helpful most of their advice was to me, as someone with ASD. Maybe it’ll help you, too?

Just wanted to say your post resonates with me a lot. Late-self-DX'd autistic (currently going through the diagnosis process), struggling a lot with the urban jungle I live in, and knowing I really need somewhere rural to be OK. I hate to admit how much alcohol helps, because I know it doesn't actually "help," but the sad thing is, I just can't figure out how else I can calm down with everyday life, instead.

I think there's hope for us (someone on an older thread mentioned this book, and although some of the terms seem outdated and I get the impression it's more around the whole, "I'm autistic and use alcohol to socialize"-problem [equally valid! Just not what I'm using it for)], I think it's still worth a look), and good on you for figuring out a way to get your needs met. I'm just sorry you've got to wait!

Have you considered that you might be a visual/auditory stimmer? That's a recent (big) realization for me: Realizing that elements that are more typically found in nature, like swaying trees, moving water, waving grasses, etc., were actually powerful visual stims for me, and a big part of the reason I feel so overwhelmed in urban environments is because I'm constantly visually under-stimulated. Nature sounds also have a powerful effect on me---is this possibly you, too?

If so, while you wait for your lease to end, perhaps found ways to get your visual/auditory stim needs met, to help your urban environment not feel so overwhelming. Invest in a little waterfall you can install in your apartment, or a video frame or two that only shows videos of swaying forests/grasses (etc.), go car camping in the closest state park every weekend to "reboot," whatever it takes.

I don't know if that helps, but those are just some ideas and things to consider. Best of luck---I know the particular awfulness of what you're talking about, and it's hard to get anyone else to fully understand!

Self-medicating the symptoms of autism with alcohol (and ending up with addiction problems) is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism'... been there, done that!

When all you have is a Hammer, every problem starts to look like a Nail, as the saying goes...

If there's also a history of addictive behaviour in your close family as well as the autism, that puts you in a very high risk category for addiction, IF you drink, so it would be wise to stay away from it!

You're absolutely right about showing early signs of dependency, by the way, and it's only going to get worse if you keep drinking...

The book Drinking to Cope? by Hendrickx and Tinsley may be an interesting read, along with the excellent Alcohol Explained...

Learning better coping strategies for difficult feelings and creating an autism-friendly lifestyle for yourself where you can be authentically you without needing to drink would be the best way forward - some 'drinking buddies' may fall by the wayside, and that is perfectly normal and healthy; true friends will support you and want the best for you regardless of whether or not they drink themselves...

You can always to talk to us or the folks at r/stopdrinking about whatever you're going through, WE get it even if the people around you don't!

Best of luck, and keep us posted!

Woody :>)>

Best book I've read: https://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Alcohol-Drinking-Cope/dp/1843106094

Manage myself? I am in AA. It's helped.

At this point: Meditate. I am trying to find more here because it doesn't always work and I wind up having bad days. I'm thinking of going back to counseling, but this time for anxiety.

Best recommendation: Do whatever possible to stop drinking. I know this is why you're posting, but whatever it takes.

Your story sounds like mine. I drank in HS to "fit in" and who doesn't like to go to parties? Everyone is drunk so it's not so apparent if you're normally "not an insider."

20s and 30s were the occasional party/drink on a Friday evening after work.

Sadly, it was my later 30s when I felt like all the same stuff from my teens (bullying/depression) was coming back to haunt me. Bottle became my coping mechanism, developing into a daily habit that I had to hide from my wife.

Yep. The book is: https://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Alcohol-Drinking-Cope/dp/1843106094 - I cannot recommend this enough.

Hi,

I've been lurking for a week now and your post was finally a reason I needed to join.

Recently diagnosed ASD (early 40s) and also am three months into AA.

First, I cannot recommend this book enough:

https://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Alcohol-Drinking-Cope/dp/1843106094

How I got to AA was basically my life being out of control for a number of years. I had tried 'my own way', therapy (lied to a consoler for months), to another remission and my wife moving back to her parents.

AA has been a great experience, but I've known there was something that drove me to the insanity of periodically drinking to becoming a daily drinker.

The author's premise is that alcohol, as proven sedative to 'lubricate', is something many of us use to 'cope'. Why we resort to alcohol is that it's very easily obtainable, not having to deal with the challenges that come with other (illegal) drugs. It's also predictable (the high) and also helps that so many other adults drink, so it's "acceptable" and makes us "fit in."

Oddly enough, I also have made friends with another Aspie, in the program, who happened to attend many of the same meetings as I did. Her support here has been great. Knowing and understanding more about both has really helped me a ton in my recovery journey so far.

Self-medicating the symptoms of autism with alcohol is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism' (been there, done that!), this book goes into some more detail on the subject...

Don't get too hung up on the label 'Alcoholic' though, it's not that helpful...

It's vague, negative, stigmatizing, somewhat outdated (it doesn't reflect the latest thinking in addiction treatment, where the emphasis is now on 'person first' terminology), and it's not a binary Yes/No, Us-vs-Them thing anyway...

The modern medical term is Alcohol Use Disorder, which covers both alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence, and is a progressive condition with predictable stages that gets worse over time, the more and longer someone drinks...

You can read about the diagnostic criteria at the link above and see how much of it sounds familiar...

Depression and alcohol is also a Chicken-and-Egg scenario; booze can cause depression even if you weren't depressed to begin with, and if you were, it only makes it worse because of what it does to your brain chemistry...

It also doesn't mix well with antidepressants (been there, done that too!)...

Antidepressant + Liquid Depressant = ???

I stopped drinking 4 years ago in my early 30s, it was the best thing I ever did for my mental health, and I also got involved with the recovery subreddits which solved the isolation and lack of connection to other people... Alcohol Explained was a useful read too...

Hope that gives you a few ideas to think about!

Woody :>)>