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Carlton Mellick III is also the author of Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes
Welcome to bizzaro fiction. We're happy to have you.
If you'd like to read one of the best and most famous examples, I invite you to enjoy Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce.
Welcome to bizarro fiction. We're happy to have you.
Please sell your translation idea: "In spite of your spells, my butt cheeks you will not have" to every trash romance author, or even weirdo writer like Cameron Pierce, who made Ass Goblins of Auschwitz
My Wife bought me a book a few years back called "Ass Goblins of Auschwitz." Truly one of the worst things I've read, not just from the plots (if you can call them that) but the writing as well.
Don't believe it exists? Here's a link.
I tried that but she was a stuck up prude who wouldn't know what real literature was if it slapped her in the face.
I raise you this: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz
I don't own that one, but I do own another book from the same publisher...Baby Jesus Butt Plug.
Want to see the Amazon book cover/introduction?
"Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered."
The Ass Goblins are the nazis
This little masterpiece.
Ass goblin är det korrekta. Här är förlagan som Astrid baserade Ronja Rövardotter på:
As horror titles go it will take a lot to beat Ass Goblins of Auswitz.
Definitely Ass Goblins from Aushwitz
This just reminded me when my friend showed me a book called Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, never read it but judging by the description, it seems... interesting. https://www.amazon.com/Ass-Goblins-Auschwitz-Cameron-Pierce/dp/1933929936
Bwahahaha :D My evil plan has worked.
Seriously though - I found a neat tool recently you can use to stop your amazon likes from appearing on Facebook. It is here for PC/Mac and here if you are browsing FB on your phone with an iphone or android
They're like ass-goblins but bigger.
or This piece of work, just learning the name of it requires a SAN check. (you were warned.)
Did you even know that books like this exist? The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz is one of the most bizarre, grotesque, and disgusting books I've ever read, but for the life of me, I wasn't able to put it down. I literally read the entire 104 page novella in an evening. It's a kick in the pants and a shock to your system you won't soon forget.
First of all, let me address a few criticisms I had about the piece right off the bat (so we can get to the good stuff). The use of Nazi imagery is tacked on in the worst way. It's quite probably a very self-aware decision by the author to provide additional marketability to his concept and add a sort of shock-rock factor. The ass goblins themselves have nothing to do with Nazi Germany. Swastikas are mentioned abundantly, and Adolf Hitler is the name of the most hideous and powerful of ass goblins, but Auschwitz is merely the city they live in, and it really has nothing at all to do with World War 2, the holocaust, real Nazism, Germany, etc. The story would've been just as strong without the additional Nazi imagery plastered on for added appeal. I might argue that in some ways it distracted from the otherwise impressive originality of the story because so many other authors have used the same trick.
Another critique many might have of this book is its use of children as protagonists in such a dark and violent world. The story makes no qualms about tearing children apart, having them being turned into "cider", subjecting them to forced cannibalism, mutation, and just about every unfortunate circumstance you can imagine (like eating your own organs). That being said, the word "Children" in this story is tacked on just as much as the Nazi imagery. The characters behave entirely unlike children in their maturity and complexities, and it's more correct to say that they belong to a species of children whose homeworld is called "Kidland". And that leads into the recurring theme of the novella: childhood/innocence lost.
At least, that's what I thought the theme to be. Much ado was made about the loss of childhood, about how the Ass Goblin scientist (the White Angel) was performing experiments to make the ass goblins happy like children were in their natural habitat, and about how the children, after undergoing certain (spoiler-free) changes, could never go back to really being children. Keep your eyes out for this theme if you choose to read the book and let me know if you agree or not.
The things I loved about this book though were what made it so enthralling. The imagery used was well-described and aggressively original and imaginative. The ass goblins are quite unlike any other thing that has appeared in fiction to date. The characters are also given just enough time to develop enough for us to understand them, yet at times I felt as though they were merely vessels of a much greater story.
The writing style is anything but amateur and there were some truly great lines scattered throughout the piece. The plot is very coherent despite the absurdity of the premise, and the ending, though maybe a bit rushed, is an epic scene that is to be read at least twice.
Do I recommend this book? Well, yes, definitely. But if you are not into bizarro fiction, cannot stomach gore and grossness in your stories (and there is LOTS of both), or are offended by the Nazi overtones or the graphic abuse and killings of "children", then you should pass. Those of you able to approach the book with a truly open mind are likely to come away either with mixed feelings or, like me, immediately searching Amazon for more content by the same author.
Is this really that wierd, though? When we live in a world where Ass Goblins from Auschwitz and The Haunted Vagina are real books?
Another good one!
Its on Amazon
Pretty tame compared to The Ass Goblins of Aushwitz
Well... there's Ass Goblins of Auschwitz : http://www.amazon.ca/Ass-Goblins-Auschwitz-Cameron-Pierce/dp/1933929936
Check this out
Weird, you say? http://www.amazon.com/Ass-Goblins-Auschwitz-Cameron-Pierce/dp/1933929936
Just buy it...
Edit - "It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce." WTF? I can't even imagine that...
Personally, I prefer this