I haven't read it but this https://www.amazon.com/Autistics-Guide-Dating-Book-Those-ebook/dp/B0032UX9US appears to be written by women with autism.
Also this: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Spectrum-Guide-Sexuality-Relationships-ebook/dp/B01BCQP8KW/
I used the search term autistic dating. There are many other books, don't know whether the authors are NT or not, or whether they are good about explaining female aspie spouses or not.