Great, now Amazon is recommending some really weird shit for me.
eww. it feels kinda gross that this link is already purple for me... it's because I fell into this amazon rabbit hole the other day from another /r/ofcoursethatsathing post (circumcision trainer). From there I clicked on "Fat Old Fred, Black" and the lube (and some gimp masks) was listed under also-viewed from there.
I'm uh, I'm really concerned that "customers that viewed this item also viewed" something called the "Fat Old Fred" after I clicked on that 55 gallon drum of "Passion Lubes" Natural Water-Based Lubricant. The horror that is Fat Old Fred, with his gaping hole of a mouth above his "Bob... Bob had bitch-tits" bitch-tits, just staring back at me with his permanently closed eyes and what appear to be his removable nose and mouth area.
I just know I'm worried about the kind of search suggestions I'm gonna get in the future. Also, in grand Amazon fashion, the most helpful two reviews for the "Fat Old Fred" are here:
> "The handy carrying case is also quite useful for carrying other dismembered obese human torsos.
> Just in case you were curious."
And..
> "I'm really happy with my Fat Old Fred, Black. Though if I'm being up-front, I have to deduct 1 star for it not being quite black. It's actually closer to the color of wet terra cotta. Anyway, I was thrilled upon the arrival of my Fat Old Fred, Black, and immediately began to explore the various uses for a silicon sculpt of a kind-of-old-looking obese torso. My first idea was to cover him in paint and use a trebuchet to launch him at a giant canvas (after all, we all know art is really a process not a product amirite?) but I achieved unsatisfactory results as I seemed to only get face+tits+belly prints. After an hour or so the wall of my warehouse loft wound up looking like a giant had dipped their balls in paint and slapped them all over my wall. Not a good look, unfortunately.
> My backup plan was to pimp him out to the crackheads who have an encampment in the storm drain under my warehouse, and so far I'm happy to say I've already recouped my costs in crack rocks and crusty dollar bills. A-, 8/10 would buy again."
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https://www.amazon.com/Nasco-Fat-Old-Fred-Black/dp/B004JOB9Z8
I come across many dying fat black men so this was a literal lifesaver. It allowed me to practice my CPR technique on as close to the real thing as possible.