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New dad to a 1 year old here.
You're starting from a good spot. Try not to overcomplicate things, even the best laid plans get immediately derailed when it comes to kids.
I've found that a lot of pregnancy and baby reading can be very judgmental and prescriptive, so we mostly just avoid it. Keep it simple and you'll both be happy: Stay away from dangerous foods, don't drink/smoke/drug, get a lot of rest, get exercise, and eat a healthy diet along with prenatal supplements. Towards the end, the waiting gets stressful, so take a lot of walks, enjoy your last few days as a childless couple, and relax.
My favorite baby book is actually Be Prepared. Its light-hearted and has great info about what to look out for without being preachy about anything. It's very practical and my wife and I both agreed that it was more helpful than most of the mom guides which trend towards the "if your child has a french fry before age 10 you've failed them and they're going to become a crackhead" level of unhelpful specificity.
Edit: We're on baby #2, #1 is nearing her second birthday.
It's not a kid, it's a baby, and there is a big difference.
The baby is not manipulating them, the baby has only basic needs, at 2 years old they may have some preferences but they don't even realize they can do things to influence others and get what they want. Even a tantrum is usually just having big emotions and no where to go with them.
I'd like to hope that it will be different when it's his own kid, else I'd suggest he starts seeing a therapist now do deal with the trauma of having a newborn at home and a wife that's "on the babies side".
There is a book my husband got that might help? Linky to Amazon
In addition to all the great books listed here my wife and I both loved Be Prepared: a Practical Handbook for New Dads. Good tips, well presented, and with just enough humor to keep you from freaking out.
I would recommend this book:
It’s a bit funny but it has some really good advice and expectations for you. However it is a little bit dated (published in 2004) so it does have a little bit of boomer humor In there, but overall was super helpful for me!
What u/xmjke21x mentioned earlier is some great stuff
Personally: Don’t panic. Baby gonna do baby things. They are gonna sound weird, look weird, smell bad, have cradle cap, other minor problems, but stay patient and work as a team with your SO. Especially the first couple weeks with that crazy feeding schedule thing. You’ll regret life but push through it, it will get better/easier.
advice to my personal experience: don’t focus on feeding the baby/having them sleep on one dominate side of their head. It will flatten which can lead to bigger headaches down the road. Currently dealing with “rounding” out my sons head through physical therapy right now so we can avoid that $5k helmet.
Remember: Don’t panic. Stay patient. Work together.
For all men (and really any woman) about to see a child born into your family, there is a fantastic book (think of it as a handy man book for babies) called “Be Prepared”. It’s first page goes into how this is probably how your baby will look (and the why). It’s hilarious and very informative, it teaches you to swaddle and how to help your partner during and after labour. It answers all the questions big and small. It helped me immensely with my daughter….highly recommend
This is the only one I read, although I didn't read the whole thing because my son decided he was a bit too excited and showed up very early: https://www.amazon.ca/Be-Prepared-Gary-Greenberg/dp/0743251547
Some general advice though:
-The first few months are just about surviving without losing your mind, so don't stress if things aren't perfect.
-My personal mantra (my son is almost 6 now) has been to raise him to still be my friend when he's grown up - not that I don't do the usual dad stuff, but more so that I do my best to explain/teach, that I justify any rules, and that I avoid getting upset as much as possible. Childhood goes by fast, so I'd like to be close for the next 30-40 years after too.
42 with a 2 year old boy. The first year was fairly easy, aside from pandemic paranoia. Between 1 & 2, he’s learned to walk, learned to communicate, and he’s getting tall enough to get into everything. Things I’d recommend:
Burp often and enough. Otherwise baby is gassy and miserable, which makes you miserable.
Master the swaddle.
Teach baby sign language, it helps before they can talk.
Have fun with baby.
It’s not always easy. Some days the wife is all he wants, some days it’s only me. It’s not either of our choices but we’ve learned to be flexible. There’s a whole community of us here & on r/daddit so don’t be afraid to reach out and ask any question. We all had questions. Congrats & Cheers!
Enjoy the time before you child learns to crawl. Developmental milestones are great, but there is something wonderful about setting a baby down somewhere and knowing they will still be there when you return. Once the kid is mobile, that peace of mind is gone forever.
Don't compare your kid to other kids. If the kid is falling behind, you'll be stressed out. If the kid is ahead, you'll be tempted to brag and piss off everyone you tell.
If possible, find hand-me-down clothes and toys. You are the only person who cares whether your baby has "new" or "nice" stuff. Your baby doesn't care, and the clothes and toys aren't for you anyway. You can make an exception for anything that goes in your baby's mouth (well, everything will go in their mouth, but I mean stuff that's supposed to, like pacifiers and teething rings).
I really enjoyed this book.
Bonus tip (from the book): babies are great for working out. As they grow, your baby curls get weight added naturally, making you progressively stronger.
Plenty of reading material out there to start getting ready. I found this book particularly helpful. It's a little outdated but still lots a good information in there. You'll be fine. Good Luck!
Also, get a pair of new balances and jean shorts.
Congratulations on the baby. The baby will definitely change your life. My wife (28) and I (31) had our son 2 years ago. My best advice I can give is to be there for your wife as much as you can. If you can afford to take time off from work, do so. If you enjoy reading, this is a great book for new fathers.
Feel free to DM me
(30M) When my daughter was born I bought a few books.
This is the only one I ended up reading:
Being the first to have a kid in my immediate family and friends I was pretty nervous. I found that once my wife had the baby instinct kicked in and you pick it up relatively quickly. Babies don’t do much except eat, cry and sleep for the first few months so there’s plenty of time I get used to it.
We had this book recommended to us, my husband isn't much of a reader but he really enjoyed it and found it extremely helpful. He was able to get through 75% of it within a couple of hours. I even read a lot of it, it's funny and informative without being overwhelming.
this book might help
It's...written a lot more humorously and simplistically than the average parent-help book. Yet it still has a lot of good information in it.
You may never have held a child before. Don't worry. You're about to get LOTS of practice. And the more you practice, the more your child will love you for it. I've gotten to the point where my wife has to remind me to put our daughter down and let her keep practicing walking, not just hold her and carry her all the time.
I'd suggest Be Prepared. There are excerpts of it on Google Books so you can check it out and see if it was what you were looking for, but I showed it to my husband and he found it both informative and hilarious.
ETA: Nevermind. Apparently they've disappeared off Google Books. Grr...
This, IMO, is the best dad book there is. It's serious, empowering, and downright reasonable.
My favorite idea included in the book is using a clean sock with a thumb hole cut in it for holding your baby in the shower (no slip glove). The whole book is full of practical dad advice.
They should make a birth plan and be sure he knows to advocate for what she wants done during and just after labor. Stuff like no pitocin or delayed cord cutting.
I got Be Prepared for Dinosaur's dad. I looked through it when it came in and wished I'd gotten it for myself.
I babysat from 10-22, worked in a daycare, took early childhood classes...but man, I really like the book, it's got some great info AND is funny too.
Someone shared that they liked this book on facebook and so I added it to my registry and my husband loved it.
Actually really useful.
Also since you will be a new dad, this dad's survival guide is freaking great.
This book was awesome. It's easy reading, and teaches a lot of crucial knowledge for a new father to know. It's hilarious too.
I read other books that seemed to strike fear, and were written by men who's mom-wives are no longer their mom-wife, so the men are whiny bitches now who don't seem to enjoy parenting. This book was a polar opposite, and makes you look forward to the first day with your new kiddo.
Got the book Be Prepared - A Practical Handbook for New Dads in a Dad Box, finished it in one sitting. It’s hilarious and informative!
I agree that hospital parenting classes are the best way to go. But you can also find some books on Amazon or videos on Youtube just by searching things like "new dad tips" or something. Here's a few links; I'm not sure how many are targeted to single dads, though. You may find a lot of references to "your partner" in the books, but there still is some truth to that -- you're not romantic partners, but you still need to be parenting partners.
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_1R3FX4SE9RZA6Z169VTR
This is a super practical “survival manual” for Dad’s that describes scenarios you will encounter and how best to handle. Every new dad should own this.
The Wonder Weeks: A Stress-Free Guide to Your Baby's Behavior https://www.amazon.com/dp/168268427X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_S9VEVY0MDHTA9Z9FPKEZ
This has demystified the ever-evolving behavior and temperament of my baby. Helps you understand how your baby is perceiving the world week to week and gives you tips, exercises, and games so you can engage them and be helpful.
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_bj79FbSS097TC I am a big fan of this one
And This Book
Go extra. https://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Gary-Greenberg/dp/0743251547
” Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to:
-Change a baby at a packed sports stadium
-Create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear
-Stay awake (or at least upright) at work
-Babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat
-Construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape
Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of hum
The ultimate dad related book. Lol it’s told from the perspective of a dad, and dad related things. It’s pretty decent imo.
Congrats! Don't forget to be prepared! : https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm\_sw\_r\_tw\_dp\_JJ7N66PRSGJEW8K82GSQ
this one is good https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743251547/ its for fatherhood not pregnancy.
For a much more refreshing variation, try https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743251547/
Check out Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_APC6F2Y7KGDA9CD5F38Q
I loved it and have gifted it to many.
This book is fun and real. Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_JE99VGNN15T8CQ0BZCGK
My husband has really enjoyed this book. It’s given a lot of really practical tips for him.
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_7X1PYF76PFRA40T488NY
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Don’t worry about all the stuff. You’ll probably end up using all the bottles as they break, get lost, get forgotten in the car (easier to throw away than clean homemade cottage cheese out of). If you’re still really concerned about the plastic degrading, you can switch to glass bottles.
All car seats have to meet minimum safety standards, so it’s really just a matter of style and what will fit in your vehicle. Personally, I preferred the convertible car seats that change and grow with your kid. The initial cost is more, but it’s less in the long run than replacing them two or three times as they grow.
As for strollers, all I can recommend is go to a store that has them on display and look for one that looks durable and will fit in your trunk.
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for new Dads helped me with a lot of the other stuff. Also, Experimenting With Babies is a fun way to learn about and test your baby’s development.
Depending on your humor I like this one. Got it for my husband and it’s super funny and cute! Not the most practical but very entertaining!
My husband really liked this book when I was pregnant, it had some very good advice but presented in a fun format.
My OB also recommended this one, and Husband found it very helpful for dealing with pregnancy!
Buy this book. A friend got it for me when I had my first and it is great. I buy it for all my friends that are having babies.
A Practical Handbook for New Dads
It's a quick read with humor and good info:
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_RAV4XGRVXYR4G8PM2AP4
There is an awesome one “Be prepared” https://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Gary-Greenberg/dp/0743251547/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=be+prepared+dad+book&qid=1607612745&sprefix=be+prepared+&sr=8-3
This book will tell you absolutely everything you need to know. It was invaluable to me when my first was born.
Book: The Be Prepared book for new Dads, I really enjoyed
The Expectant and New Father are the Bible! I also like Be Prepared as it gives good tips not found in the other two. And Baby: The Owners Manual is a short, fun read with great practical advice.
Yes, do read these. Being a father is the most important thing us guys can ever do. These books give advice about being a good dad and a good husband/partner. Bonding with your baby, proper holding and care, how best to help mom, these are so, so important. Dads get a rap as being incompetent, worthless, and insensitive. Let’s change that.
Congratulations. Strap yourself in because the fun is about to start!
First book I read was Be Prepared: Be Prepared - Gave a good overview of what lies ahead with funny yet practical advice and illustrations. Honorable mention goes to this book my brother (dad of 2) read and sent to me: The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance - If you are into cars or want an outright instruction manual then this is the book for you. I'm not, so I skimmed it.
Then I moved onto The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be - Which gave greater detail on the process of pregnancy, being a good partner and planning for when the baby comes.
For a sense of what to do with the baby during their first year I am reading Baby 411 - 9th ed
My goal is for my wife and I to raise a good human. Someone who is self confident, self reliant and can make good decisions if/when we're not around. So I read Parenting with Love and Logic aloud when I was with the baby every morning after I would change and feed him (he just liked the sound, tone and cadence of my voice). This is a great book offering a parenting philosophy on how to provide choices for your kids that help them make better decisions and accountable for the consequences that come with bad decisions. Premise being the life/financial expense of poor choices early in life are the best lessons to learn to avoid greater life/financial consequences later in life when bad choices are much more taxing.
My wife read this book to help navigate when we start introducing solid foods. Simple & Safe Baby-Led Weaning: How to Integrate Foods, Master Portion Sizes, and Identify Allergies - I haven't read it but from what I've gleaned from a few articles online it's a methodical approach I've gotten onboard with.
Suggest checking to see if any of these are avail used. Also recommend signing up for a birthing class, they are typically offered at the hospital you're delivering in.
I got my husband this book as this is our first. He likes tinkering with his hands so it seemed up his alley.
I really liked Be Prepared.
For your husband :
You may want to also ask this over at /r/daddit or /r/predaddit!
A friend of mine just got her husband this book when she found out she was pregnant: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Gary-Greenberg/dp/0743251547/
I really enjoyed the book "Be Prepared." A little outdated but super practical. Still trying to get hubby to read it though ;-) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743251547/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_H8JlxbQVXD3ZS
My husband has Be Prepared: a Practical Handbook for New Dads, and it's been very helpful. Easy to read, too!
A friend bought me Be Prepared. I love it.
There's been a lot of great advice on here and I don't plan on repeating it but this is a good book. More of general advice and not so much directed as the difficulty you are enduring.
Of all the books I read this is the one I enjoyed the most.
He should've gotten Be Prepared instead.
I'm expecting my first in the next couple of weeks, this has been my favorite book so far
This is the baby book exception to the rule, and I've recommended it a dozen times. Everyone loves it.
My husband found Be Prepared to be very helpful and practical. He's a new dad as well with little/no baby experience. The book was entertaining without being demeaning or petty.