What is Reddit's opinion of Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself?

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Document everything. Do not respond unless absolutely necessary and keep everything very plain, factual and professional. Make sure your lawyer knows and has possession of everything. And discuss with your lawyer a different custody plan where your child is with each of you for a series of days ( week on/week off, etc).

And this book is great:

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself https://www.amazon.com/dp/152370246X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_6JSSKHYZFJ9JTW371FC3

You need to read up on Narcissists, setting boundaries, and disengaging from providing N-supply to the Narcissist while re-supplying yourself. The more you fight back or engage negatively, the more they actually are being fed by this. Here's a good book: Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself Paperback – July 29, 2016 by Shahida Arabi

Honey, please go to a womens shelter and ask to speak to someone there about supports you can access - see if there is a victims services organization in your area to provide you with free therapy. You dont need to have to stay there in order to get HELP from them.

You have recognized this is a pattern of your choices and codependency, and you WANT to break that pattern. The first step is to, literally, not get into any new relationship. None. Focus on pouring your energy into your career, your life, your kids, your home. Consider yourself in a 4 year College Program of Self Esteem ... no new relationships with a romantic partner until all the mess is fully cleaned up, you are mentally, emotionally, and financially stable, and you have had time to just be yourself, know yourself, forgive yourself, and fall in love... with YOURSELF.

I'm not saying you can't find a "friend with benefits"... but no relationships. No romance. No "white knight" guy who swoops in like a hero only to turn abusive. You be the hero. You be the self-rescuing princess of your Epic Quest.

So, you have until April. Great. Honestly. He's not getting the house, he's not violating that order of protection, stop being an audience for his bitching. Just stop. Hang up. Communicate only by lawyers. Stop giving any psychic energy to The Divorce... disengage and pour it into finding a new job. That's your FIRST priority. Income. See if there's anything the social worker at the women's center can help you with. Look at your county unemployment office. If anything, just go polish your resume and get it out there. Take a temporary job, just for something to get you physically and mentally away from obsessive thoughts about these problems... even if it's just waiting tables, its honest work. It's a change. It's something that's YOURS. Something that puts a few bucks into your pocket to spend on self care, on healing, something your kids can see you doing, and learn, "Mom was resilient. She worked her way through it."

References:

Unfuck Your Habitat

Becoming the Narcissists Nightmare by Shahida Arabi

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving A Fuck

Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts by Regena Thomashauer

Thank you!
Have you read https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-the-Narcissist-s-Nightmare-How-to-Devalue-and-Discard-the-Narcissist-While-Supplying-Yourself/dp/152370246X/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8 ?

What if I send him this under the assumption I may be a narcissist or the like that ?

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself https://www.amazon.com/dp/152370246X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_UxFLFbRK14JV9