{"product":{"product_id":"0141978619","title":"Body Keeps The Score","price":"20.28","image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41mT5UyhZ4L._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/0141978619"},"comments":[{"body":"Assalamu Aleikum. I am not a medical professional at all. Just a guy that nearly died one too many times. Lost most of my 20s to low mood and will never be whole or pain-free again. I have just learned to survive and read a lot of books. Alhamdulilah I have faith and family around me to help me. \r\n\r\nThis would be my first recommendation. Gather love around you. It is incredibly healing. You will behave badly, people will struggle with you, and you won't feel like you deserve it. But it is important to feel it. \r\n\r\nSecondly, this is not my idea. As I said I have been reading a lot, this is [Bessel Van Der Kolk - The body keeps the score](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=bessel+van+der+kolk+the+body+keeps+the+score\u0026amp;qid=1662405845\u0026amp;sprefix=bessel+van+der+kolk%2Caps%2C67\u0026amp;sr=8-1). \r\n\r\nThirdly I knew this stuff but still didn't feel good. Until I encountered Islam. Let your mind grow by studying but never abandon the Quran. You will start to see lessons in it you haven't seen before. \r\n\r\nFinally, losing the will to live is a serious condition. I have PTSD; 55% of sufferers don't survive longer than four years. If you have nobody to reach out to, reach out to me.","subreddit_name":"MuslimMarriage","author":"BluePommegranate"},{"body":"I’m so sorry that you went through all that and so very pleased that you are no longer in that situation. You clearly have trauma and it will take a while for you to feel safe in your new surroundings so don’t worry what you are feeling is normal for someone who has been through that.\r\n\r\nWith regards to hating yourself, you need to remember that none of it was your fault and you were just a child doing what you could to try and survive the only way you knew how.\r\nYou should have been given guidance and support but you weren’t and that is not your fault at all.\r\nThere is no reason to hate yourself.\r\n\r\nThe best advice I can give you is to try to get in touch with the sensations deep inside you when trying to figure things out that resonate with you or not.\r\nStart listening to yourself and stop pushing yourself away. It will be painful and uncomfortable but you need to get used to these feelings. There is no other way. You have to feel them on a physical level. Allow yourself the time and space to just sit with no distractions and let what comes up come up. Don’t try to hide. You need to become a parent for that hurt inner child inside of you. Your parents neglected them but now you have to parent them.\r\n\r\nThe best book I have ever read which explains trauma and ptsd and which I think could really help you https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=asc_df_0141978619/?tag=googshopuk-21\u0026amp;linkCode=df0\u0026amp;hvadid=310865071345\u0026amp;hvpos=\u0026amp;hvnetw=g\u0026amp;hvrand=16685950738359659421\u0026amp;hvpone=\u0026amp;hvptwo=\u0026amp;hvqmt=\u0026amp;hvdev=m\u0026amp;hvdvcmdl=\u0026amp;hvlocint=\u0026amp;hvlocphy=1006886\u0026amp;hvtargid=pla-452579060347\u0026amp;psc=1\u0026amp;th=1\u0026amp;psc=1","subreddit_name":"socialskills","author":"OkNuthatch"},{"body":"You are not alone in this by any means. We regularly see people posting similar questions.\r\n\r\nI would really recommend reading [The Body Keeps The Score](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_1) by Bessel Van Der Kolk. Its been really helpful for me and I think it might be good for a many people too.","subreddit_name":"EOOD","author":"rob_cornelius"},{"body":"I have just finished reading [The Body Keeps The Score](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_1) by Bessel van der Kolk. He has spent his whole career treating people who have suffered terrible abuse starting with Vietnam vets in the 70s right through to the present day. Not just vets but people who have suffered practically every form of abuse that can be imagined and quite a few forms of abuse that should never be imagined.\r\n\r\nThe book has a whole chapter devoted to exercise, especially yoga. He also mentions t'ai chi and qi gong several times too and even combat sports as methods *alongside* other forms of therapy. \r\n\r\nI can't recommend the book highly enough. I don't have the time to write a synopsis of it right now though.","subreddit_name":"EOOD","author":"rob_cornelius"},{"body":"I'm so glad you're doing well, OP! The career stuff sounds amazing but finding people for coffee is also a big deal. I've found that stuff hard to do :) I have also been doing some dopamine fasting and it's working really well for me. I was learning about it through Andrew Huberman, who I found through some people on here (thanks guys!). I hope it works well for you! Keep us updated.   \r\n\r\n\r\nI returned my foster cat today. She'd only been with me for less than a month, but I'm gonna miss her little face and her cuddles so, so much. Caring for her after her surgery and getting her ready for adoption was so good for my mental health and even though it is bittersweet, I know she'll find a great home. I will resume fostering in the new year, after the holiday craziness is over. \r\n\r\nI have a lot of assignments due over the next month and I know it's gonna be very tough. I've decided to start hot yoga to try and push myself and release some tension.\r\n\r\nI've almost finished listening to [The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk](https://www.amazon.com.au/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=asc_df_0141978619/?tag=googleshopdsk-22\u0026amp;linkCode=df0\u0026amp;hvadid=341792439332\u0026amp;hvpos=\u0026amp;hvnetw=g\u0026amp;hvrand=528634289013726111\u0026amp;hvpone=\u0026amp;hvptwo=\u0026amp;hvqmt=\u0026amp;hvdev=c\u0026amp;hvdvcmdl=\u0026amp;hvlocint=\u0026amp;hvlocphy=9071448\u0026amp;hvtargid=pla-452579060347\u0026amp;psc=1) and I can't recommend it enough. Would like to get back into reading fiction, when I have the time.","subreddit_name":"FemaleLevelUpStrategy","author":"Live-Apricot1106"},{"body":"Well done for writing this. You’re stronger and braver than you ever knew. Clever choice of sub to share it in too. The KP situation triggered your past trauma. It’s totally normal to feel that way especially when then original trauma is yet unresolved. \r\n\r\nRead [The Body Keeps Score by Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score\u0026amp;qid=1565777936\u0026amp;s=gateway\u0026amp;sprefix=the+body\u0026amp;sr=8-1)  for a greater understanding of the effects on your body and behaviour. Keeping it to yourself was your psyche’s survival method at the time. It was the only thing (you believed) you could do until now. The book will also provide you with a wealth of ways to recover. Be kind to yourself. I recommend you talk this over with a trained mental health professional to help process your trauma.","subreddit_name":"TwoXChromosomes","author":"chuckiestealady"},{"body":"Try out this book: The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0141978619/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_F3XH85KBBJS9015XGVTW","subreddit_name":"IWantToLearn","author":"xxxghoulsgonewild"},{"body":"Therapy.  Journaling. [The Body Keeps the Score](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619).","subreddit_name":"Anger","author":"napjerks"},{"body":"My honest to God advice is to find a therapist and talk to a mental health service about this.\r\n\r\nI can not overstate the value of having private therapy where you are able to discuss your traumas.\r\n\r\nI also recommend a book which may or may not help you with coping with your trauma.\r\n\r\nThe book is \"The body keeps the score\" and has helped me and many others cope with difficult traumas in their lives. Here is a link to it. [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr\\_1\\_1?crid=1V1PCU28QERMR\u0026amp;keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score\u0026amp;qid=1650294546\u0026amp;sprefix=the+body+keeps+the+score%2Caps%2C70\u0026amp;sr=8-1](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1V1PCU28QERMR\u0026amp;keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score\u0026amp;qid=1650294546\u0026amp;sprefix=the+body+keeps+the+score%2Caps%2C70\u0026amp;sr=8-1)","subreddit_name":"mentalhealth","author":"SufficientDistrict10"},{"body":"Hey there! Looks like you're weighing your options carefully. Would you be interested in some self-help literature? \r\n\r\nI personally recommend The Body Keeps the Score. It helped me unpack a lot of my own trauma when I wasn't able to access therapy. Here's a link on amzon.nl: [https://www.amazon.nl/body-keeps-score-transformation-trauma/dp/0141978619](https://www.amazon.nl/body-keeps-score-transformation-trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_5?__mk_nl_NL=%C3%85M%C3%85%C5%BD%C3%95%C3%91\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score\u0026amp;qid=1633427253\u0026amp;sr=8-5)\r\n\r\nIs medication an option for you? It might be scary to try, but it can help a lot. It's way easier to re-wire your brain when it isn't soaked in the bad chemicals.","subreddit_name":"TrueOffMyChest","author":"Teacher_Crazy_"},{"body":"The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0141978619/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_6V5CHDCPSPP9HGD1PP0M\r\n\r\nHonestly, it’s fascinating. It’s a difficult read…","subreddit_name":"SuperMorbidlyObese","author":"Beatplayer"},{"body":"I'm so sorry you're going through this. [The Body Keeps the Score](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619) and [Trauma and Recovery](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trauma-Recovery-Aftermath-Violence-Political/dp/0465061710/ref=sr_1_1?crid=129IK57SZQ068\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=trauma+and+recovery+judith+herman\u0026amp;qid=1626693068\u0026amp;s=books\u0026amp;sprefix=trauma+and+re%2Cstripbooks%2C151\u0026amp;sr=1-1) are very informative reads that you may want to look into, I know the former has a couple of workbooks too. x","subreddit_name":"CPTSDNextSteps","author":"Nebula_Smart"},{"body":"Well I had a quick look at your comments to see some of the things you're dealing with and experiences from your past. So top of the list I would say. \r\n\r\n[The Body Keeps the Score by Bessell van der](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score\u0026amp;qid=1617470498\u0026amp;sr=8-1)\r\n\r\nThe first half or so of this book is great. He goes through the science of trauma, how we know what we know, the various developments right up to the creation of the term CPTSD and his fights with the American DSM. \r\n\r\nAfter that I'd recommend [Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD-ebook/dp/B00HJBMDXK)\r\n\r\nThese are very good companion books, they talk about the same issues, the same pain but from slightly different angles. The first was the rational science book, the second is the emotional irrational book, but it turns out that stuff matters. \r\n\r\nYou can PM me if you'd like to talk about it more, happy to share.","subreddit_name":"Schizoid","author":"Blues_Riff_In_B"},{"body":"If you're not ok seeing them then that's your boundary that you need right now.  And only with time will you determine whether you will ever want to change that.  You are the one who decides how often and what kind of contact you will have with them.  But the most important thing is that on your own, without them present, the negative thoughts and events of the past aren't ruling your life.  \r\n\r\nFor that, forgiveness.  Figuring out how to let go of past disagreements and hurt.  Realizing we can't change them.  We can only change ourselves and our reaction to them, how we view them, what perspective we see them with.  Allowing our relationship with them to change and evolve over time.  Protecting and improving our [personal boundaries](https://psychcentral.com/blog/childhood-neglect/2015/07/the-four-kinds-of-boundaries-how-to-build-them#1) (see the 6 step boundary exercise) with them.  Changing the topic, tabling conversations, hanging up cordially or walking away without arguing when they persist in matters we don't want to talk to them about any more because there is too much negativity there.  Recognizing and managing the amount of energy we are allowing to continually get sucked into past events and current disagreements.\r\n\r\nThere are books like [The Body Keeps the Score](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619) on dealing with trauma.   Finding shared experiences in books like [What My Mother and I Don't Talk About](https://www.amazon.com/What-Mother-Dont-Talk-About/dp/1982107340) helps me a lot.  [Getting Together and Staying Together](https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Together-Staying-Solving-Marriage/dp/006095633X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0) is a good one for clarifying how we build a vision of our relationship with someone.  And I found this book also helps understand reciprocation in friendships as well.  But you said it, trust is hard and takes a long time.  It's great that you are aware of it and know you need to practice at it, that it doesn't come naturally.  Let that be ok.  CBT therapy helps if you can't figure it out on your own.  Hope some of this helps.  Hang in there.","subreddit_name":"Anger","author":"napjerks"},{"body":"I think saying it is not your responsibility to educate him is not the most healthy attitude. You cannot place all the responsibility on him to behave exactly how you need him to and not expect to have to communicate what you want from him. Learning more could be helpful this book is good:  [https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0141978619?tag=duc08-21\u0026amp;linkCode=osi\u0026amp;th=1\u0026amp;psc=1](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0141978619?tag=duc08-21\u0026amp;linkCode=osi\u0026amp;th=1\u0026amp;psc=1)","subreddit_name":"survivorsofabuse","author":"Maito_Guy"}]}