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Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame?
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I think you should challenge him and address the problem before it gets worse. This book has helped me understand the issue:
I hope it works out for both of you.
Congrats on the decision. This book is helping me understand the psychology of the issue:
Check it out.
This resonates with me because I’m 30M and also very religious. I just recently had a period of sobriety for almost 6 months but relapsed a few days ago. Before that, I hadn’t gone longer than a couple weeks.
I use covenant eyes too and I recommend you have a friend become your ally there for accountability. When I relapsed I knew my accountability partner would get an email saying I had uninstalled the software. My friend was texting me 5 minutes later. That is a huge obstacle to between yourself and acting out.
Also, getting a sobriety clock app and having your friends check that from time to time is helpful because you can see your progress and shoot for micro goals. I use one called Nomo.
This a great read from a former SA turned therapist:
Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608820831/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MWE2JG6N91K83N4KW2NB
Good luck and God bless
Make yourself uncomfortable, set extreme measures, take cold showers, work out, whatever it takes, also, I highly recommend you read books like this one: http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1461293098&sr=1-1&keywords=breaking+the+cycle+free+yourself+from+sex+addiction
Picking up a new hobby is the best way to start. You need a healthy thing to do when you feel the urges. Also keeping a private written journal is very helpful.
This book really helped me a lot and is still helping me www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831
You can get it as an ebook if you are concerned about others finding it.
Good luck my friend! We are all in this together
I totally agree and I'm in the same boat. Porn is absolutely my biggest hurdle and affects all other areas of my life. It's my personal hell.
But recently, I have started to attack this problem the JBP-Way. He talks about this method a lot, especially in his talks about procrastination.
Because I know exactly what I should do about it, I just didn't do it for 10 years. So how do you quit? I think everyone basically knows. And there are smart people who have answered that question with step-by-step instructions. There are [subreddits](/r/nofap), books with promising reviews, therapists, online courses, all sorts of solutions. Yet, here I am, still doing what I know is wrong, compulsively. There are a dozen reasons for that, but that doesn't matter right now. If I follow any of those methods, there's a chance >0 that I can quit, too. If I don't do anything, there's no chance anything will change.
The question rather is: can I do something about it, and of that, what would I actually do? There is a lot I could do, i.e. I have the resources to do. I could call a therapist and make an appointment. I could read the book and do all the exercises. I could join a monastery.
Then, every day, I talk to myself. Would I call a therapist and do a therapy? hell no. Would I join a monastery? No way. Will I read the book and do all the exercises in it? Nope. Would I order the book on Amazon? Yeah I can do that, reluctantly. Done.
Would I read it though? Nooo. Would I put it next to my desk where I can see it? Ok, I'd actually do that. Then it continues from there. Next day, would I read the book? No. Would I look at the table of contents to get an overview? that sounds ok. Would I put stickers in it to mark individual chapters? Hm, ok, I can do that. Would I read the first chapter? No, not gonna happen. Would I read the introduction? Ok, but no more than that.
Reading this about myself sounds pathetic. Why the hell can't I just quit? I can't even read a book. But I didn't do shit for 10 years about it, and now I'm in Chapter 6 of the book, actually did the exercises, and am starting to feel the change in my porn viewing behavior. This is tremendous progress, more than I did in all these years while I knew porn was bad for me.
This book helps me understand the psychology of the situation:
You can address the depression by learning some psychology. This book is helping me cope:
Check out this book:
Learning some psychology can transform your life.
Check out this book:
Learning some psychology will help you change your habit. Good luck.
This will cure it forever with the action taken.
https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831
Like you said, when you get too into porn addiction after a while the regular stuff doesn't do it for you. It's just like drug addiction where you need to move onto the harder stuff. Actually it really is the same thing because you are addicted to the dopamine hit you get from porn.
There was a book called "Breaking the Cycle" that I read years ago and it really opened my eyes to where a lot of my issues with porn came from. It was the beginning of my journey back to being healthy. I think this is it: https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1606687624&sr=8-3
Another major shift in thinking that helped me was to stop beating myself up for my addiction. Just accept that you have an addiction and don't judge yourself one way or another about it. More often than not it's the guilt that you feel after you have failed to stop that drives you to do it again. If you have to do it then do it. Accept it, don't feel bad about it, and don't tell yourself that you are a bad person for it.
Feeling guilty for having this addiction gives it power over you. Once you can detach your feelings of self worth from your addiction then you can start to have the power to change the behavior.
I looked at your recent comment history. You used George Collins and the techniques he describes in <u>Breaking the Cycle</u>, correct?
- Quitting my job at factory and starting freelance career and later we plan to start own CG studio
- Building a portfolio and learning to be better 3D artist
- Drawing
- Plan to start sculpting soon to become character artist
- Once I quit my job start running, working out and improve my flexibility
- Studying to get a driver license
- Meditating
- Reading Breaking the Cycle and No More Mr. Nice Guy
- Plan to learn Krav Maga and first aid
- Once my life will start to settle down I will start working on my shyness, becoming more social and looking for a girlfriend
Read this book.It really helps. I didn't finish yet cause I'm somewhere in he middle and I can say that it really helps. http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831
He also wrote a book which worth reading
http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831
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