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Oh, I empathize with this so much. I was in a really bad bike-on-car accident a few years ago and it took a while for me to feel good about being on my bike. Here is what I did/still do:

1. Exposure therapy and REAL therapy. I was pretty traumatized by the bike crash and some other stuff that had happened in my life, so I started doing talk therapy with a psychologist. I still meet with them once a month to talk about work, love, family, etc. In the early days, we talked a lot about my bike accident and how much I missed how I felt on the bike. My psychologist was the one who suggested I try riding my bike every day for a month. The rules were that it didn't matter what time I went, how far, or where I went. I could ride alone or with a buddy. I just had to get on my bike every day and then journal about the experience when I got home. I was still tense and anxious on the bike after that month, but I felt noticeably less so.
2. Group rides, riding with friends, riding with the person I love.
3. I got a fancy new MIPS helmet that I wear religiously.
4. I use my blinky lights, even in broad day light.
5. In addition to a bright jersey, I also wear bright socks. My drawer of cycling kits looks like a neon rainbow vomited in it. I remember reading a study about how drivers are more likely to see cyclists if they are wearing bright socks/shoes because our feet move around a lot compared to the rest of us. Of course, now I can't find a link to the study.
6. I put this tape on my shoes, helmet, and bike. It is crazy how much actually lights up in low light conditions. It practically glows. It adheres to fabric pretty well too, so I put some on the jacket that I like to wear in the cold and the rain.
7. If there isn't a bike lane, I ride closer to the middle of lane. In most US states, bikes are not allowed to be ridden on the sidewalk unless you dismount to cross the street. So most states also have a law that states that bikes can use the full lane. Sometimes people get pissed an yell nasty things at me. But I take it as a sign that they saw me.
8. I have reported motorists who throw things and pass dangerously to the police. I usually reserve this for things that REALLY scare me because no one likes a narc. When a company fleet car does a really dangerous pass or yells at me, I usually the company to complain. On the flip side, I wave/give thumbs up to people who pass generously and will thank them if I catch them at a stop light and they have their window down.

One thing my therapist did tell me was that it is important to remember that I'm not doing anything wrong by riding my bike. You can't control everything in order to ensure your safety. But sometimes just remembering that I'm doing all the right stuff makes me feel better.