I think you have something there. I’m retired and full of regrets that I didn’t plan better. But I never thought I’d actually be this old! Anyway a very funny yet profound book on this is by Roz Chast called Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? Basically her parents scrimped and saved all their lives so that they could get their diapers changed more frequently at the end. Is it really worth it? Their end care cost every bit of their savings and then some. I wish that suicide was more acceptable as an option. It would be nice if it was like deciding to put your dog down. https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Talk-about-Something-Pleasant/dp/1632861011
Took a while elective on this in my MSW program. One of the best decisions I made.
Gonna do Amazon links here, but not specifically to endorse the platform, just for reference:
Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant - New Yorker cartoonist, Roz Chast - A true use of one's strengths to process loss. I have some tears forming just thinking about this one.
Tuesdays With Morrie - Mitch Albom - A memoir about visiting one's dying sociology professor. I was mixed on this one, but it hit some people really well, so I think it's useful.
The Death of Ivan Ilych - Tolstoy - A contemplation of meaning in the life of the protagonist as he approaches his death.
Being Mortal - Atul Gawande - A personal narrative of loss combined with social and policy analysis. This was one of my favorites.
The Cancer Journals - Audre Lorde - A personal narrative of loss. This one was tough. It pushed on my white, male-ness in an uncomfortable and ultimately good way. I don't think it was written for me, but in some ways, I'm the demographic that needs this type of thing.
I just discovered that I still have the syllabus for the class. If you want to look at how it was put together, I'd be happy to send it to you. DM at me if you want.
My SO's favorite! I just bought this one for him for Christmas.