Cannabis Pharmacy - Michael Backes
Cannabis Health Index
https://www.amazon.com/Cannabis-Health-Index-Mindfulness-Techniques/dp/1583949623
Terpenes for Well-Being
These are my top 3 books.
Cannabis Pharmacy is really good I often go back and refer to it
TL;DR: my academic 180° with bipolar medication and therapy
I BARELY graduated with my bachelor's before I was on a religious medication schedule (200 Lamictal, 300 wellbutrin, 0.5 ativan PRN currently). Even then, I was medicated using the same medications but I was way more lax with it than i am now.
As recently as 2018 I was on lithium after a severe depressive episode / anxiety etc. The doctor in the outpatient program I entered due to the distress prescribed it to me on an emergency basis. It picked me up from it, but I lost like 10lbs (semi unrelated: I was feeling better about myself and not eating sh!t food constantly to self medicate) and the dose became toxic-adjacent when I noticed I was drinking like half a gallon of OJ every day because water wasn't touching my thirst. Just thinking about that today gives me heartburn 😫. After they figured it wasn't helpful to me anymore, I went back on Lamictal but made a promise to myself (with the incredible support of my now-husband) to never let my medication schedule get interrupted and to consistently see my therapist.
I've been seeing my therapist every 2 weeks to every month, and last year after some soul searching (read: I was furloughed from my retail job and knew I needed a new career) I decided to go back to school to become a counselor myself. I was distraught knowing my poor grades would be a barrier for me to get into grad school, but my therapist actually wrote a letter of recommendation for me (she addressed the ethics of recommending a current client in her letter. It is a counseling program after all, so everyone there knows it's a fine line to walk). I got in, on a probationary basis, and now I'm 3 semesters in with a 4.0. I'm still full-time retail, because I gotta pay the bills, but I just make sure I get enough sleep and that I communicate with my husband when I need extra time to do schoolwork and extra help around the house so I have no excuse but to finish my assignments.
I was always the "has so much potential but doesn't finish her assignments" kid, so I know I need to be careful not to slide back into bad habits. It's a decade later though, so i really do feel I'm a different person....... aka I take my meds, drink rarely (about 2 drinks total a month), get enough sleep, and see my therapist regularly.
I ain't perfect, I smoke weed every night to unwind before bed, but I'm terrified of getting hooked on benzos, so I only use ativan when I'm actively panicking during the day. It's pretty infrequent, like 5-7 times a month MAYBE if it's a particularly stressful time.
I do have a medical card, but the effects of marijuana (medical or not) on bipolar disorder aren't consistent. I was reading "Cannabis PharmacyCannabis Pharmacy" (I am on mobile, sorry if the link is messed up) and I was not psyched that it said it didn't really have strains or dosage/use recommendations for bipolar. I smoke weed for alleviating my anxiety at night because a good night's sleep (or even just avoiding sleep deprivation) is the single most important factor in controlling MY bipolar symptoms.
Also, I was having memory blips too, but I'm pretty sure it's the weed in my case 🙃
I am sorry for the novel but I feel your situation!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/031646418X/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 This is what is recommended to all new budtenders at my local dispo.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439102619/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 This is what was recommended to me by a friend who is a historian. He felt this was the best representation of the actual history of things.
if I recall it was from this book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/031646418X