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Check this book out. My wife and I read it to kind of help understand the fun of this. It is like $5 and is a quick read. It may help your significant other understand the benefits to chastity for her! Most sources are super advanced and are a little crazy for beginners, but this truly helped!
I only discovered my interest and desire for this kink several years after my wife and I married. She was totally turned off from it when I tried pressuring her into it, which was my fault. Years past and eventually this book was written that helped us connect with experimenting with it more:
Chastity: A Guide for Vanilla Wives https://www.amazon.com/dp/B094D1CQKN/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_FJY03PYRB1NRMQF5B2GX
In all seriousness though, I never thought in a million years I would love this kind of kink but here we are. The biggest mistake most men make is pressuring their SOs or having unrealistic expectations. This is something that takes time to get into for some couples, whereas others hit off real quick.
I will always refer to this book every time:
Chastity: A Guide for Vanilla Wives https://www.amazon.com/dp/B094D1CQKN/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_YFQTP3S7C6RKA5ZKCDKV
My wife is very vanilla and this book at least got her into being a key holder from time to time. It gives you both topics to discuss and what your archetypes are (e. g. My wife is a Queen/Mistress and I am more of a suitor/knight). It is an excellent book to get started on your journey with your wife. Good luck 🤞
The Book "Chastity: A Guide For Vanilla Wives" comes up as a suggestion here now and again.
I did buy it a while ago to find out what the fuss was about. It's not the longest book but it does a good job of introducing chastity and some related bits and pieces (denial, teasing) from the perspective of someone who isn't vanilla.
I will say though trying chastity play does not require you get in to other kinks. By all means investigate other kinks but you really don't have to do everything, pick and choose the things you like the look of and let go of anything that doesn't seem fun.
> How do I help her understand how chastity play is supposed to work?
There isn't actually "a way" that chastity is supposed to work. There are all sorts of ways and the only way it can work is if you both negotiate TOGETHER how you both want it to work. However it is possible to give you girlfriend some reading material that can explain some things and give her ideas. And after that if she is interested in it then you can sit down together and negotiate which of those ideas will or won't work for both of you.
I will say that Chastity: A Guide for Vanilla Wive is a pretty decent intro and not too long
I highly recommend this book:
My wife does not like it but this book opened her up to at least being a key holder and occasionally she will take a pic of her holding the key between her tits or in just holding while at work. We also use it to help improve our intimacy.
Don't push it on her, several others (myself included) made the same mistakes of doing that which resulted in turning them off from it. Just take it slow, like others have said; it will eventually get to where you desire it to be.
As a vanilla wife early on that didn't have any idea about chastity, but was blindsided by her husband's request to be caged up, I definitely understand what your wife is going through.
It took a while before I adjusted to seeing it. In fact, most of the time he put it on in private and at least initially was wearing his underwear the whole time he wore it. Part of it is just getting comfortable, part of it was getting over my own embarrassment, and part of it is just becoming more confident as a KH.
I wrote about my experience a little bit in my book for wives like me. Perhaps it will help her:
Well the first attempt was a major screw up on my part. I was too pushy with it and turned her off from it for several years. Eventually this book came out and we read it together and discussed it, which eventually she opened back up to the idea of it and we have been taking it slow since:
Chastity: A Guide for Vanilla Wives https://www.amazon.com/dp/B094D1CQKN/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_MBPYV3DGMXZBHSGV2YGA
First few rounds since we read that book, she's slowly taking a liking to it. I feel that this round, with it being focused on her needs and desires, makes her like it even more. That guide was really an eye opener to both of us and what we wanted.
Right now, I am looking forward to massaging her back and cuddling. She knows she's control of when we have sex, so it eliminates the expectation of sex. It's been a pretty good start. I have been taking notes on what her desires are and what she wants and have been working on that for the lock up period. It also makes it fun.
a) fuck everyone who would laugh at your sexual interests or kinks. Why would you be with that kind of person?
b) Why would you be with someone who can't easily be straight up with?
c) lots of folk have suggests this e-book, maybe read it and pass it on to her
Talk to her about your ideas and then also both of you can read this book at a minimum. It is less “crazy femdom” and more “maybe give it a try”
It takes about 30-45 min to read and is a good opener for the chastity when the relationship isn’t already a dom/sub arrangement. Hope this helps.
I think that is a dangerous precedent to set in the relationship. Hiding your wants and needs and trying to hide it from her. The only way things like this work is open and honest communication. I am not saying drop it on her like a ton of bricks, but slowly open up about sexual needs and desires. There are books to help people understand the roles and pleasures of chastity. I just think hiding it is going to be difficult and this kink requires a lot of trust. This book helps dip the toe into the arena.
Chastity: A Guide for Vanilla Wives https://www.amazon.com/dp/B094D1CQKN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_MW1NXXZ4ZY79N9TBT8V4
Maybe ask if she be willing to read a 60 page book that takes like 30 minutes. It is $4 and puts some things into perspective. If not, you either need to respect her decision and decide if you can truly live with it, or decide if you need to find another partner more open to your kinks. Communication is key and doing stuff in secret isn’t sustainable.
Also, this one looks promising.
Here is an awesome, easy resource.
Super short read and is not very intimidating.
Checkout the book Chastity: A Guide for Vanilla Wives by Milyssa Morisette if you haven’t already.
I would recommend reading this book with your SO:
It was the very thing that kicked off my wife and I experimenting more with it.
It gets suggested around here now and againt but "Chastity; A Guide for vanilla wives" is apparently a decent intro for someone who doesn't "get" this kink
I would recommend this book, and then talk with your partner.
Not really clear what you're asking here but many people have suggested the following e-book
It is about $5 and takes about 30-45 min to read. Really good for both parties. I highly recommend it