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Chimp Paradox: How Our Impulses and Emotions Can Determine Success and Happiness and How We Can Control Them?
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>I saw someone in this thread compare human hierarchies to those of gorillas as a justification for the consultants e-mail. My goodness. Maybe we should all live our lives jumping between trees too
Assuming you are talking about me, it isn't exactly an unusual practice to use anthropological reasons to explain modern human behaviour. In the context I was discussing gorillas, I was pointing out that social hierarchies are an inherent part of human behaviour going back millions of years.
I can highly, highly recommend this book. It explains what’s going on inside our brains when things like this happens and teaches you how to manage your responses. I had the audio version and have found it very helpful. In fact I might listen to it again now I think about it! https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-Programme-Confidence/dp/009193558X
If you want to explore it more and learn about balancing that part of yourself with other parts, read this book
The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness Paperback – 5 Jan 2012 by Prof Steve Peters (Author)
I won't give any more motivations, comments here should be enough
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-Programme-Confidence/dp/009193558X
My parting gift is a book: The Chimp Paradox
I've read hundreds of personal development & business books. This is the best one. It profoundly improved my life. Enjoy! :)
Ah then you might like this book. It's not mindfulness based but it's a really interesting model of our brain that includes the concept of an inner 'chimp' brain. Definitely worth a read.
Hot-and-cool system?
I recommend everyone to read "The Chimp Paradox". It's an amazing book about what that guy calls the hot-and-cool system but what the book calls "the chimp and the human". It can change your life if you understand it and avoid using the chimp part of the brain when not needed.
I've had exactly the same for years and you have got loads of great advice here. I'll add this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-Programme-Confidence/dp/009193558X . I found it to help a lot.
I need to read it again as my anxiety has been steadily getting worse again recently.
Bullies can be very intuitive at finding the weakest people to displace their own anxieties onto.
Perhaps you feel small metaphorically. I’d look at Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or counselling around your self esteem. You’re unconsciously having trouble with hierarchy, and this might be a safety and connection issue. The word ‘shame’ has negative connotations, but when understood properly, it might help you.
You’re always going to meet people who inadvertently or malicious try to belittle you.
A great way to help yourself is to correct your posture, get strong, fit, and healthy. That will earn you more respect than height alone.
Also, assertiveness, and assertiveness with yourself
There’s are some useful tips here
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anger/about-anger/
And I would recommend these books
The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/009193558X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_BDC350K8JJKVQ57B2TNV
Zen and the Art of Dealing with Difficult People: How to Learn from your Troublesome Buddhas https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/178678548X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_A4TNTYP9W1NE3JNRZ6TD
They don't love you or care about you or believe in you. Come on man, you know that, you're not a moron. They're a completely anonymous person who knows nothing about you throwing pointless cliches at you.
Everything you've said there seems to be a fairly standard thing that happens to people. There's no real disasters, just temporary situations like sitting next to the bellend and a bit of tension with mates.
Your anxiety is causing you to be over self reflective. There's a thing that anxious people do where they frame situations in certain ways to put them at the centre of it so that it feeds into their negative self talk.
A good idea would be to self refer to CBT. CBT is a bit of a dustbin diagnosis for a lot of problems but it's pretty much setup for this type of situation. You have some poor mental mechanisms that need a bit of a tweak and would make a big difference to your life. Learning how to rephrase thoughts, recognise poor judgement and improve mood. That type of thing.
If you're in Wigan then you should contact ThinkWellBeing if you want. It's NHS so free and the waiting list is maybe a few months and they usually run 6 sessions of one hour each then reassess. They're a good service with good people in it.
https://www.gmmh.nhs.uk/think-wellbeing/
If you don't want face to face therapy, then you can try one of the mobile apps. They are apps built to help with CBT by using language processing to give you broad advice. They're better than they sound. There's a few of them out there but I recommend WoeBot usually, it should be available on your App Store.
Finally, one of the books that people are recommended in your situation is the Chimp Paradox. Psychologists and therapists recommend this to people with anxiety problems but who are still functional. It doesn't just explain the problem but tries to get you to catch the issue.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-Programme-Confidence/dp/009193558X
Anxiety issues like this require you to sort of retrain your brain a little. It's not a huge effort to do and doesn't require years of therapy, think of it like sticking a new coat of paint on the walls to freshen up the place after it has dulled a bit.
Sounds like you need to learn to handle your inner chimp.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Chimp-Paradox-Management-Confidence/dp/009193558X
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