First, I would never use a furminator to get out mats. That would be way too rough on my cats. I personally like this comb but really any wide toothe comb will do. For brushing out rough areas, make sure to hold the hair at the base. That way you only pull on hair not skin. For our 2yr when he gets bitey/over stimulated, I'll just give whatever brush/comb I'm not using to chew on.
We mainly give really good ear and check scritches as rewards for grooming. The 2yr loves getting his cheeks brushed with a cheap slicker. You can also reward with treats if that works for you.
We have a similar no name slicker brush that all the cats love. I swear I must have picked it up at the 99¢ store years ago.
For OP: we also used this comb when we started brushing our 3mo old. Also gets used on the adults. It's just super gentle
This comb is the best for keeping mats away. My guy used to get mats behind his front legs all the time, but since I've started using it, 0. And it's gentle enough that he'll let me comb his haunches with it too. For mats already formed, I hold the hair at the skin, then just comb it out (usually only take 1 or 2 tries). Hold at the skin, so you're just combing the fur and not pulling on the skin too. Really bad ones, I'll just carefully cut out.
Anyway you can make grooming time a good experience and bonding time for you and the kitties should help as well. All 3 of my guys come running when they hear the brush which makes keeping the mats at bay easier.
I take my boys for sanitary trims every 8 weeks, but they could go a bit longer (like every 4 months) but I get their nails done every 8 weeks and get them trimmed up at the same time. Alternatively, you could learn to trim the hair yourself. Also, make sure you're combing her butt/haunches regularly to prevent mats and poop butt from being in there too long. This is the comb both me and the cats prefer
I found this comb to be the best for keeping out tangles. My older cat even lets me do his haunches with it, which he wouldn't let me do with any other brush. To get out kitten used to be being brushed, we only would comb/brush him for as long as he could handle. Sometimes it was 5 seconds, sometimes a minute. I don't do treats, just give really good ear scritches when brushing. That kinda naturally leads to them falling over so I can get access to the belly.
Not OP but this is the comb I use on my cats. Now he no longer gets mats behind his front paws and he'll even let me comb out his haunches which he would never let me do before.
Depending on the severity of the mats, groomers are a good choice. Starting with a clean slate is easier. I've also used this comb to take out easy mats. I just hold the mat at the skin, then comb through. But you got to hold at the skin so that you're only pulling on the hair, not the skin itself.
My vet have always done sanitary trims in house, they're not as near looking as a groomer but it gets the job done. I would ask your vet (or any vet near you) if they offer that service. Because it'll be way easier if you're starting from scratch.
That being said: this is my favorite comb. Since I've started using it, my senior kitty no longer gets mats behind his front legs. For getting mats out, hold the hair by the skin, gently comb out. You want to hold the hair because you don't want to be pulling on the skin. I believe there's also petsafe scissors for cutting the mats out (although I'd be wary depending on how close to the skin they are) as well as pet clippers so you can trim the hair at home.
For grooming, when our 1.5yr gets overstimulated I usually just give him one of my grooming brushes to chew on instead of me (although a toy would probably work too). I also don't give treats for grooming. Instead all my guys get ear and chin scratches with one hand while I comb away with the other. Sometimes my guys walk around me as I continue to brush away. All then loves to get just the top of their heads brushed with a slicker brush, so I'll do that as a reward as well.
Once you have mats, it can be easiest to cut or shave that part to get them out. For combing out, I'll hold the hair at the base close to the skin so that I don't tug on the skin as I brush the mat out.
This is my favorite comb, Coastal Pet - Safari - Cat Shedding Comb - Cat Grooming Supplies https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002AQUSE/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_FMN3D5142WYZKYJYXM3V. Haven't had any mats since I start using and my guy even let's me comb his haunches which he usually hates. You can also just get her leg hair trimmed down so it doesn't mat as easily (my guys also get sanitary trims to keep things neat and clean)
Now. We started our kitten off slow with this comb and a cheap slicker brush. I would slowly comb him while he was laying on the couch next to me. At the start, sometimes sessions would only last 30 seconds before he was done. We gradually worked our way up to a normal brushing time. We would give him a toy or another brush to chew on sometimes because he'd get overstimulated and try to bite, and that gave him something else to bite. Also realized he loved getting his ears scratched while combing so I would do that to. Some people give treats, I never have. My cats just get some good chin and ear scratched out of it.
For me it's a very relaxed thing. If a cat is done being brushed, I let them go. Also they usually will walk around me, head bump while being groomed and I'll just continue to brush them as they walk around. The only time I may restrict movement is when I need to get to a belly and they're not rolling over like normal (but usually they'll flip right over because both my boys love belly rubs).
How old is she? When our 2yr was a kitten, we could only comb/brush him for like 30 seconds before he'd get too stimulated and bite things. I used to just give him whichever brush I wasn't using to chew on. I also give really good ear, cheek, and chin scritches while grooming as an extra treat. We slowly built up how much time he could handle being brushed. Now he runs to be brushed and especially loves getting his cheeks brushed.
We use this comb to get through the layers and prevent tangles and a cheap slicker similar to this to brush him out.
So I too have an older cat with long hair which chronic hair balls. I changed vets 2 years ago and they were very unhappy about how often he would have them, sometimes multiple times a week. Suggestions they gave: laxatone hairball stuff, yogurt, and pumpkin. They also said if we couldn't get the amount down that I should contemplate getting him shaved. I should note that my guys love to be brushed, but he'll eat any hair he sees floating around.
He hates pumpkin, refused yogurt, and the laxatone didn't help. I found a groomer to get him professionally brushed out and sanitary trimmed every 2 months. We went from hairballs all the time to maaaaaybe 1 hairball every 2 months.
This comb is great for detangling and keeping mats away. It's very gentle and my guys even let me comb their haunches with it. This rake is great for getting through layers. And I also just had a cheap no name slicker brush too.
I use this comb. Any mats I hold the hair at the base by the skin, that way I'm only pulling on hair not my cats skin. I like this comb for tangles too as it easily separates the hair.
For grooming: it kinda depends on length of fur. All 3 of mine (short-med/long haired) love a cheap slicker brush similar to that one. For my longer haired cats, this comb is great for keeping mats away and is very gentle, I can even comb my guys haunches with it which they hate normally. And this rake is great into the coat of longer haired cats.
We trained our most recent kitten to be groomed in small sessions. We would wait til he was calmer on the couch (our normal place to groom all the cats) and would comb him as he laid there. When he would get overstimulated/bitey, we would give him a toy or comb to chew on instead. Some sessions only lasted 30 seconds before it was too much but we slowly built up how long he'd allow us to brush him. Some people give treats during grooming sessions, I give out guys really good ear and chin scratches. So while I brush with one hand, they get scratched with the other. Bonus, if it's a good ear scritch, they tend to flip over so you can brush their bellies too.
I will say, grooming my cats is very informal. I don't make them lay on my lap or stick them on the table. I'll wait for them to hop on the couch next to me and just brush them. And sometimes they hop down and I brush them as they walk around the front of the couch. Or I'll sit on the ground and brush as they walk around me. Honestly, all the cats loved to be groomed now so we just run the bristle brush over our hands and the cats come running at the sound. Also, they love just to have their cheeks brushed with the slicker, just hold up the brush and they'll rub against it
This is my favorite comb. Great for loosening hair and preventing mats. This shedding brush gets out a bunch of hair. And then I also have a cheap slicker brush as well. You can also get a Furminator but I would try other brushes first.
I take my cats every 2 months to a groomer but it's really unnecessary in general. I just happen to find a very affordable groomer and they only get their nails trimmed, professionally brushed, and sanitary trims. Sanitary trims are (at least for me) a must on my long hair cats. It really keeps their butts cleaner from the litter box. But that can also usually be done at the vet and only needs to be done about every 4ish months for my guys (but that totally depends on your cat and how things are growing).
I have a Furminator, I find it does just about a good as a regular brush for my short haired cat. (Although her hair is not as dense as what you're describing). Do NOT get the knock off despite the reviews, they're shit. I think those people have never used a real Furminator.
I use this comb to loosen the hair up and keep mats away. You won't get a lot of fur out with it. Then I follow up with this shedding brush or my really cheap slicker. With the hair already loosened, I find everything comes out a lot easier. During a shedding season, it can take some time to get the coat out but it should gradually become less/easier.
I also take my guys to the groomers every 2 months to get professionally brushed out. I'm always amazed by how much they get out in so little time.
If long haired, this comb is great for keeping mats at bay. Mine will even let me comb his haunches which he doesn't like. It's also super gentle so it's great for teaching cats to be brushed.
This bristle brush gets out s bunch of hair. But it can be bit rough. I have to have a very light touch when it comes to my short haired cat.
You can also try a Furminator. But I found the brush above takes off just about the same amount of fur.
Vet recommended hairball stuff with laxatone. Another said yogurt but my cats refused to eat it. What's been a game changer for me, getting my guys groomed every 2 months. My 12yr went from having hairball almost daily to maybe once a month. We just go in for a brushing and sanitary trim. Also making sure we vacuum/watch for floods because my 12yr will also eat stray fur he finds on the ground adding to his hairball problems