Even more nuanced, apparently men and women engage in garden variety violence at roughly the same rate in intimate relationships. Where men are apparently more aggressive is in a form of violence known as coercive control. (Source below)
Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life (Interpersonal Violence) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00VQVNCES/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_2QM1RHKMQ3WY0H534E0T
And a (dense, scholarly) book that is also good reading as a fourth option:
Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life - Evan Stark (he goes into legal analysis about how coercive control in the home is a constitutional violation in the US, as it deprives women of our constitutional rights):
https://www.amazon.com/Coercive-Control-Personal-Interpersonal-Violence-ebook/dp/B00VQVNCES
Unfortunately, it's common for therapy to make abusers more effective manipulators than to challenge their abuse and help them unlearn abuse. Traditional therapy is really not at all what abusers need, as it's wildly unprepared for the abusive mindset. It doesn't surprise me that all that he's using these techniques to manipulate, control, and abuse you with a tighter fist.
Yes, he's extremely abusive. What you're describing is absolutely horrifying and untenable.
https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control
I know it always feels like the extreme suggestion when you've had this stuff normalized for you, but I sincerely hope you'll work on escaping this relationship. Imagine this relationship in 5, 10, or 20 years. Even if he stays the same and doesn't get worse, what do you think your mental state will look like? He punishes you and tries to remove you from your studies/work. At what point do you think you'll end up quitting school/work in an effort to appease him? What do you think that will do to your mental state and independence? He dominates your time. How long do you think it will take for him to successfully isolate you from your friends and family? How will that compound on your mental health? After years of being dehumanized, coerced, and treated like a human fleshlight, what will that have done to your mental health, body image, and sexuality?
Here are plans to help escape: https://www.verywellmind.com/making-a-safety-plan-to-escape-abusive-relationship-5069959
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship.htm
Here are people who can provide emotional support, help you plan to leave, and offer potential logistical help: https://nomoredirectory.org/
Here are books that will help you better understand his behavior as the abuse it is: https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf