Here’s some of the books I found useful:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nerdy-Shy-Socially-Inappropriate-Asperger/dp/1849057575
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Been-There-Done-That-This/dp/1849059640/ref=pd_aw_sbs_3
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Noonday-Demon-Andrew-Solomon/dp/0099277131
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Happiness-Trap-Based-revolutionary-mindfulness-based/dp/184529825X
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Compassion-Kristin-Neff/dp/1444738178
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Antidote-Oliver-Burkeman/dp/1847678661
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brain-That-Changes-Itself-Frontiers/dp/014103887X
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/0747528306
He has good posts on his site re life/social skills: https://markmanson.net/archive
Autistic resources: https://neuroclastic.com
http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/?m=1
It’s a bit of a vague post, or rather too generic to address properly, but here below some useful resources, even though some may not apply to you:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842
https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0091906814
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/0747528306
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Intimate-Connections-Signet-David-Burns/dp/0451148452
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mans-Search-Meaning-classic-Holocaust/dp/1844132390
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Noonday-Demon-Andrew-Solomon/dp/0099277131
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Happiness-Trap-Based-revolutionary-mindfulness-based/dp/184529825X
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Compassion-Kristin-Neff/dp/1444738178
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Antidote-Oliver-Burkeman/dp/1847678661
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286
Also look at:
https://lizziehuxleyjones.com/essential-autistic-reading-list/
http://www.study-body-language.com
https:www.improveyoursocialskills.com
https://socialpronow.com/blog/the-5-best-ways-to-keep-a-conversation-going/
https://markmanson.net/archive
https://jamesclear.com/articles
In addition, I also found yoga and meditation really helpful as well as a clean diet.
Hopefully it’s enough to get you started, but feel free to ask if you had specific questions.
Mate, I’m so sorry. NHS mental health is sadly mostly fucked up as our esteemed government has totally starved its funding. I don’t blame the NHS but I do blame the crooks in Westminster..
Anyway, before I get on a rant :) in case you don’t know, there’s the option now to self-refer for CBT. It ain’t much, but it’s a start and maybe worth looking at while you wait for your Dec apptm https://patient.info/treatment-medication/self-referral/refer-yourself-for-nhs-talking-therapy-counselling
These are also good, if you don’t mind doing some reading:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Compassion-Kristin-Neff/dp/1444738178
As for the bullies and the haters.. I have been there myself, just a different dynamic, and I know how soul destroying that is. However, your only crime was not to fight back, and that’s no crime at all. When it comes to stuff like this, one either turns the hate inwards (it’s my fault, I must be bad/deserve it/flawed, etc) or it goes outwards (f*ck everyone, the planet, humanity, etc..). I went the 2nd way, so I fought back but I also ended up with huge anger and trust issues, which took me till my 40s to sort out.
You went the other way, so you assume it’s your fault, but it isn’t, you’re just too nice, couldn’t not fight back and had no one who helped you when it mattered. Bullies are indiscriminate, they hardly ever target someone specifically: they cast a wide net and stick with those that give them a reaction and/or don’t fight, because they’re cowards.
You did nothing wrong and you have every right to be loved and accepted as you are, but you have to do that first. It may sound corny, and I was very skeptical myself, but yoga/meditation also helped me massively. Look up “Yoga with Tim” or “Yoga with Adriene” on YouTube. They have plenty of beginner stuff and they’re both great.
Hope this helps a little. Take care. :)
I find that it’s enough to look in the right “direction”, such as their nose or between the eyes. Some additional tips here that all work (obviously can’t use sun glasses inside): https://autisticempath.com/6-ways-to-fake-eye-contact/
There are anxiety management techniques and therapy would be useful to learn a few ways to relax the brain, but in the interim, these are 2 good books that may help:
These could be a good start, even though the first 2 are self help:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Edges-Known-World-Sensitivities/dp/1849050422
https://www.amazon.com/Nerdy-Shy-Socially-Inappropriate-Asperger/dp/1849057575
This is a good reference if you like videos:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AutisticPride/comments/j0q16f/list_of_autistic_youtubers/
This has a really good list of additional written resources:
Hope it helps :)
There are various techniques you can use and everyone will respond differently. Therapy would be my first recommendation: CBT is known for anxiety, but others prefer DBT, ACT or MCT. These are all different types of therapy and you can also find self help books online that are related to each one as well as workbooks.
Specifically related to AS l’d recommend:
Not AS related but worth a read:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Happiness-Trap-Based-revolutionary-mindfulness-based/dp/184529825X
I find these tips also helpful (you have to be consistent with your corrections till eventually they’ll happen automatically) https://arfamiliesfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Cognitive-Distortions.pdf and https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/sites/default/files/wellness-module-8-healthy-thinking.pdf
Finally, meditation. It really does help. Here’s a recent thread on how to start https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/lj8tw8/exactly_how_do_i_meditate/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf - this is a free app to get you started https://insighttimer.com
Oh, I wished, but that’s so many. I’ve literally done nothing else but reading self help/psychology books and similar for over 30 years.
I’ve listed below some of the ones I found particularly helpful:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842
https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0091906814
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/0747528306
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Intimate-Connections-Signet-David-Burns/dp/0451148452
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mans-Search-Meaning-classic-Holocaust/dp/1844132390
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Noonday-Demon-Andrew-Solomon/dp/0099277131
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Happiness-Trap-Based-revolutionary-mindfulness-based/dp/184529825X
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Compassion-Kristin-Neff/dp/1444738178
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Antidote-Oliver-Burkeman/dp/1847678661
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286
Also look at:
https://lizziehuxleyjones.com/essential-autistic-reading-list/
http://www.study-body-language.com
https:www.improveyoursocialskills.com
https://markmanson.net/archive
https://jamesclear.com/articles
Hopefully it’s enough to get you started, but feel free to ask if you wanted to know anything more specific.
CBT has cut through some of my thought spirals, especially those slightly irrational beliefs that lead at panic attacks.