Feliway is your best bet by far then. It diffuses out calming pheromones which will make your cat feel more at home and at ease. You can find them at petsmart
I have 3 cats, one of which is old and cranky and another that will pee on anything new. Before we brought her home we invested in ComfortComfort Zone Diffuser Zone diffusers for the entire house. It is supposed to calm the cats without harming you or baby, my vet recommended them!
Also when you bring baby home, separate the cats from LO for a few days. Let the cats smell some items of clothing for a couple days after that and finally let them meet each other for a few minutes in a heavily supervised environment. While we might think of a baby as a wonderful addition to our home, the cats def think of it as a loud and messy intruder in THEIR home. It just takes time and lots of supervision! Best of luck!
*edit I just realized I didn’t even address attention- as long as you don’t have ridiculously clingy pets just make sure to set aside 15-30 minutes a day for petting/cuddles/attention. I always try to do this during mid day nap times!
I bought a 2-pack of Feliway two weeks ago, and my cats no longer fight. Had 2 of them that would tussle several times a day, and they slept together on the bed last night for the first time.
So yeah, in my opinion, they work.
> He did hundreds of dollars of damage trying to escape and attacking everything. Including furnitures, old furnitures in wood that are hundred years old. I just don't know how I can keep him inside.
Yikes. Have you tried Feliway?
We use one of these until it runs out, then we just buy refills when our cats start to get stir crazy again. You don't need to be running them all the time.
It seems to help calm down our one wild cat when he can't sleep. Just put it in a higher traffic area that she walks by a lot, we have ours in the hallway, but you could even put it right in your bedroom if you want for max effect.
Worth a shot!
I would say give Feliway a try. I was a non-believer until I tried it for my cat with anxiety and I can't believe the difference, it started working within just a few hours. She calmed down and was once again willing to do normal things like eat, use the litter box, etc. without being scared of everything she saw.
My female cat had a horrible habit of peeing and pooing in rooms where we'd buy new stuff. For instance I bought a feather blanket, she promptly pee'd on it. Bought home a new bath rug, promptly poo'd on it. She hated change. Our vet suggested a ComfortZone plug-in and it worked perfectly. It calms the cat down and relaxes them so they don't act out as much. You plug it into the wall and change it out in about 30 days. I would start with just one in the problem room. We had two initially and after a while we stopped using them with no more problems.
When we moved and bought a new couch I was afraid the move and new furniture would trigger her stress again so I put one in the living room with the new couch and one in the room where we kept the litter. No problems at all! They also make a spray and we used that on her cat bed during the move to keep her calm. In our opinion it really did wonders! I hope that helps!
Edit: Just wanted to mention that there is no scent to the human nose. It's like pheromones only the cat detects.
It will take a while while they both adjust. I was in a similar position; my female cat could have been better and we wondered if she needed a friend. We got one, a kitten, and did the long method of introduction (which involves keeping the new cat/kitten in a separate room for about a week! I can go into more detail if you want). It went well. They are good friends now, and my first cat has benefitted immensely from having a companion.
It's a tough choice; if they don't get along, neither will be happy (not to mention YOU won't be happy either!). But if they do, you could be providing a richer environment for your existing kitty, and saving another from the shelter.
If you are unsure, I would see what options the shelter has, like if, after a month, you know it's not going to work, can they take the kitty back. That would suck for the cat from the shelter, but in the end they should go to a home where they'd work out forever.
Oh I have a suggestion- to make the transition easier for both animals, try getting a pheromone diffuser- I did it and I think it helped in the adjustment process. Feliway was what I used and I will recommend it! It doesn't work for every cat, but if it does it really works. It worked for my problem cat and made quite a difference.
I hope you try getting a second cat and that it works out. Good luck!
First off, thanks so much for the reply!
Now in regards to what you said...
I get the feeling that stress is probably the cause but I'm honestly unsure of ways to calm him. He likes to play but he very picky with how/when that happens.
A tree/more vertical space is probably long overdue
We currently have two litter boxes and are tight on space but I suppose a third could work
Thanks for the suit idea! It could save me a lot of time
Hi. I had to transition 2 house cats with my fiance 3 cats. All girls except 1, and all fixed but the kitten. That... well the first day - week was an establishment period for laying claim and associating our bedroom as "home." Living room, kitchen, dining room, etc.. was "outside" and to not be trusted. That period lasted about 3 weeks then we introduced my cat, Cameo. She is a rescue (all cats here are in some form) and very very stubborn and has a high confidence in what is hers and carries this aura of "don't even get near me or I will punch the Fuck out of you." True story, many months later, kitten got to close, Cameo gave her warnings, Kitten choose the warnings didn't apply to her so she chopped and moved closer. Cameo heard the boxing ring bell go off and raised her right arm and balled her paw (into a fist! she's long hair so it looked like gloves) and bopper the Fuck out of Kittens head 4-5 times with enough force that Kitten chipped and turned away and poor thing shook her head for several seconds. I had even heard when the huts landed so I can imagine she got a jostle. Now for those thinking that's mean, in cat world that's how you stop a cat from being a douche around you and to retain a lesson.
Kitten, and everyone else, chirps and goes out of their way to avoid being near Cameo. Some may call her a bully but she is 12yo and I have had her since she was 4 months old. It's her land dammit!
It took my fiance about 6 months to be allowed to pet Cameo, a year she would walk up to him and ask for pettings. We did use Feliway from Amazon. I will get the link and edit post with link. The Feliway was awesome and we put it in 3 main rooms. Wayyy cheaper on amazon and my own vet recommended it.
Let us know how it goes. I don't know how joining dogs and cats but I know what we did. We did more stuff but it's late. Good luck!
Edit: not at pc so not sure how to do links and I took my Ambien so that's the other half so I'm going to paste link and prettier it up tomorrow!
This has happened with my cats any time either of them visit the vet. Usually some hissing and growling going on when the vetted cat comes home. This never lasts very long, though, then things are back to normal. If you have some blankets, bedding or toys that is used by the cat that visited the vet, maybe try rubbing them on him to hopefully put his more familiar sent back on him. If you continue to have problems, which I really doubt you will, try a product called Feliway. https://www.amazon.com/Comfort-Zone-Feliway-Diffuser-Cats/dp/B00I9SI40S/ref=sr_1_1?s=pet-supplies&ie=UTF8&qid=1479269097&sr=1-1&keywords=feliway
Here you go! Comfort Zone Feliway Diffuser Kit https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I9SI40S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_nVQOxb1VYA290
You have taken the time to do a gradual introduction as best you could and, like the other commenter said, they are just "working out their rules of interaction." If up until this point their scuffles haven't been alarmingly violent, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I'm a vet student and I tried to do everything by the book when introducing my cat with my boyfriend's cat and what it boiled down to was that they were both females with strong personalities and that they were never going to be the best of friends cuddling together. They do the same thing when it comes to passing each other slowly and in high alert and have had a few fights, but at this point I think that is not for me to deal with, they just have to figure out their dynamic. As long as they are not at each other's throats trying to hurt each other that is all I can ask for.
That being said, they probably do need more time. The longer time they spend together, the more you will see progress even if it is extremely slow. I have a few things that I recommend you trying though:
Feliway Diffusers are great at providing a natural maternal pheromone scent that has proven to keep cats calm. Although it would need to be used in a smaller area, maybe your new cat's safe zone, otherwise it won't have much effect.
NurtureCalm Collars have a similar effect and they are wearable. I definitely have seen a change in my cat with this collar. I would recommend getting one for each cat and seeing if you notice a change in how they interact with each other.
If you haven't checked out Jackson Galaxy and all his cat advice, I highly recommend him. He knows his stuff and has a lot of information about introducing a new cat to your home.
If you're still concerned, you can find a vet that is comfortable with animal behavior to do a house visit and observe your cats interacting to see if maybe a medical intervention is necessary. I've always believed in pills as a last resort, but my cat is seriously a better version of herself on prozac.
I was going to recommend a Feliway diffuser, too.
I can't stress the Feliway stuff enough. I have the Comfort Zone Diffusers that really, really help with my cats. I also recently purchased the pheromone collars for added comfort. My tom cat meows and meows and meows a lot, but the collars have almost stopped that. He was also peeing in my closet, until we got a third litter box and another diffuser for my bedroom. There are so many options instead of giving up your fur-babies!