That is a mess. I'm so sorry. It got better for me once I was able to leave the house. Just don't do the stupid thing I tried, OK? I failed at my suicide attempt at 16, and am very thankful that I did.
You might find a cognitive behavioral therapy book helpful to restructure your thinking (otherwise you get caught in this negative loop) -- like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Conquer-Negative-Thinking-Teens-Workbook/dp/1626258899/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1513915256&sr=8-5&keywords=help+with+depression+cbt
I did something similar when I was in my 20s and found it helpful. I haven't read this particular one, but it has good reviews and is specifically for teenagers.