There's always an in-between option, or a both option. You may wish to check out the book Dagger: On Butch Women which, in spite of its name, covers a good range of butch afab gender identity.
It seems like some of the writings have been taken offline, but Carol Queen's piece on the anthology "Dagger: On butch women" was my first time seeing my kind of sexuality portrayed in a positive light. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dagger-Butch-Roxxie-Linnga-Due/dp/0939416824
This blog seems to have gone full TERF as of late, unfortunately, but there are some older stone-related posts that have been affirming for me in the past. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/persistentlyfem/171142588777
On tumblr you can find short little bursts of positivity and posts in defence of the stone sexuality by searching "stone butch" and "stone femme". Again, it's very butch/femme focused but a lot of the posts revolve around stone boundaries which are relevant for any touch-me-not and pillow princess lesbians.
Here is a book you ought to pick up, if you can.
Here is another. Ivan and Rae also produce quite a lot of audio content; I can't recommend Ivan Coyote's storytelling enough.
Good luck.