May I suggest that purity culture is a toxic mess, and there are better ways of thinking about sexuality as a Christian?
You might find Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity a helpful book in this regard.
I actually read this book while I was first deconverting. It's called Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity and it's by Dianna E. Anderson. While written from a progressive Christian perspective, she addresses how the church has been wrong about sex and how to move forward from all of the bad teachings. I still find it incredibly useful as an ex-Christian because she gets us and understands what we've been through. (Also, I feel like hell would freeze over before a Christian bookstore would carry this book.) She talks about how consent is most important and how there are different types of relationships other than "one man one woman".
https://www.amazon.com/Damaged-Goods-Perspectives-Christian-Purity/dp/1455577391