I've been raised by toxic parents. A parent that denies their child love and denies their emotions most likely has mental issues. It's not normal and don't let anyone lie to you that it is.
From your experiences with them, I agree with you. They are most likely so.
Google gaslighting. It's a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser makes the victim question themselves to the point of the victim thinking they are insane.
I read a book that helped me identify whether or not my toxic parents were at fault or not.
I really hope yours aren't like mine, but if you want to be sure I'll give you the link to the book that helped me out:
https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Identify-Yourself-ebook/dp/B00K8DSRFE
If your parents are toxic then this book will help you find out and tell you what to do.
Good luck and stay safe.
Excellent job! I wish I had read this book when I was younger. Would have saved me a lot of pain.
https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Identify-Yourself-ebook/dp/B00K8DSRFE
>There's a wonderful book called Dangerous Personalities by a former FBI agent and profiler. In a chapter titled "First Things First: Reality" he lists the things people like your gaslighters tell you to do when you have involvement with someone like this woman: Talk to them. Get them help. Give them another chance. He said that Nicole Brown Simpson did all those things, and adds "She's dead."
That's this book by Joe Navarro, yes? Sounds like it's in the vein of The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.
Read this to get better at detecting bad people: https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Identify-Yourself-ebook/dp/B00K8DSRFE
I recently read Dangerous Personalities, in part because I am fascinated by bad people and it kept being suggested to me on Amazon, in part because of the Netflix series Mindhunter (which is awesome), but mainly because there had been so many warning signs with my cousin's now ex-husband that we all ignored, but if we'd connected them all together we would've realized he was a narcissist to a dangerous degree and would've taken earlier steps to help her.
Anyways, that book gives checklists that the author (who was an FBI profiler) would use to determine if someone falls into one of four categories of people who he deemed most likely to be criminally dangerous. They're not really meant to diagnose someone with a disorder, just to help you be more informed of how dangerous someone you know might be based on things you know about their actions and personality. It sounds to me like your fiance might check enough boxes on the emotionally unstable list that he's probably a threat to those around him. I would get away from him ASAP and accept that he's very unlikely to ever change with respect to the character flaws that make him dangerous.