You want one that is very bright, very big, and angles downward. Like this.
Most of the sun lamps/SAD therapy lamps you can find are "conveniently" tiny and, as a result, ineffective.
I'm with you but it's not a good idea. I mean, once you lose insight, who knows what can happen.
As far as your depression, are you light sensitive? If so, if you are on a mood stabilizer ask your doctor if it's ok to try light therapy. I used to have good luck with this model. Get on that is rated at 12+ inches. Many are rated at like 6 inches and who can keep their face that close for an extended period of time.
Eventually I ditched the light and moved to the tropics. Also effective.
They don't have UV. You should make sure however to get one that has 10,000 lux for 20 minutes at a distance you would consider sitting at. (ie: not 3 inches).
I have this one right now which I got cause it's pretty portable, but you still have to sit pretty close (and somewhat expensive). I used to have this one, which was better and even more expensive, (though not as much as it is now) and pretty big. (I mean, I still have it, but it's in storage in someone's basement - complications of moving/Covid)
If anyone is having issues with mental health due to it being dark all the time, I recommend getting a "Happy Light." - https://www.amazon.ca/Carex-Day-Light-Classic-Bright-Therapy/dp/B0009MFUWC
This is the light box I use. The legs are annoying but it's so cheap so I bought 4. If you buy a light therapy box, definitely go with a trusted brand like the ones you find at your sleep center. I'm very happy with carex as a company. I had an issue with one of the lamps and they promptly sent me a replacement, despite it being past the warranty. They even followed up with me to make sure I got it.
I have it set up on a Wemo plug, but any smart plug will do. I would wait until black friday, all of my smart plugs were free-$5 on Amazon during a promotion, and I bet Amazon will have something for black friday.
This is one of the bulbs that is tunable. I have a few around the house now, I can't remember which is which, and I'm currently out of town. Bulbs also go on sale during black friday and prime day and all that jazz.
Good luck and happy sleeping!