I figured as much. The big epidemic is typically opiates and benzos are rarely talked about and I suppose it's because there are more deaths related to opiate abuse/addiction, which can originate from having your wisdom teeth pulled. It's definitely serious, and very grim to think about so many people I've known throughout the years who have died from it.
Benzos are animal of their own though. The likelyhood of dying from benzodiazepine withdrawal is rare unless you are taking bottles and then stopping. It's also difficult to overdose on benzodiazepines as long as there's no mixing. Again, a whole other issue.
Looking at YouTube videos of people who have suffered from benzo withdrawal would certainly trigger me into a panic because it's rare you find videos where the individual is healed. And I don't nessecarily believe it's because once you heal, you're going to jet off and who cares about your video blog anymore.
I think it's because it's a fucking long journey for many, many people. It's depressing to look in the Facebook groups (which I advise people to AVOID!) and see people still fighting this from 5 years ago.
There's a message board for sufferers as well. I avoided that after a while as well because the success stories were not really success stories. People would write, "some days are harder than others". It's rare to find those.
But a man named Matt Samet wrote an incredible book called "Death Grip: A Climber's Escape from Benzo Madness" where he was successful in healing nearly 100%.
https://www.amazon.com/Death-Grip-Climbers-Escape-Madness/dp/125004328X
That book has been my inspiration to continue fighting this in the future. I can't do it now. It sucks that you have to kind of plan out when you're going to be able to go through hell again and honestly the "best" time to do it is when you're already immersed in the dark. When you think things can't get any darker because you HAVE to hang on to the good days, the remotely good days, even the ok days. Because it's all you'll have before doing it over.
What's sad now is that I'm approaching 30. I have less family support. I have less support in general. When it's not your first rodeo, you kind of know what to expect which can be good in some ways but I can't expect assistance from doctors because rarely understand the issue in itself, referring to it as "a period of rebound anxiety" which is a slap in the face. And that's what they're taught.
It's KNOWING what's not going to work, who's not going to help, what is going to be detrimental, what is going to send you over the edge again. And the entire time you assume that it's all in vain because there's no way it could get better. There's no way you can heal from this iatrogenic illness. It's depression but other symptoms that appear as they please. It's not normal life anxiety you're dealing with, it's benzo withdrawal anxiety, a feeling of anxiety on steroids, and nightmares that don't make sense, sometimes blackness, or just numbers, words, and constant feelings of doom, and it's pain all over, muscle aches, backaches, I had to invest in a cane the last time (I was in the my mid 20s), there's no color in this world and it doesn't end in 3-10 days.
You're virtually alone.