Most of the books I've read are for people with Asperger's. My favorite so far is Decoding Dating. I like it because he gets very specific about signals women send, and how to respond to them. Beyond that, most of the books are similar. You may want to go to Amazon and search for "social anxiety" or "making friends." It probably doesn't matter which book you read as they all say mostly the same thing.
The other respondent suggested volunteering and I want to second that. I actually personally haven't had much luck volunteering, but I have heard from lots of people that made friends that way.
And on hobbies, they don't need to be the most exciting thing in the world to you. In fact, I'd go look at a list of local clubs and activity groups, and just look for the activities that I thought I could tolerate :). Meeting new people is the object, not developing a "passion". But you might find a lifelong hobby where you least expect it, that has happened to me many times!
Just remember that there really are lots of women, wherever you are, just literally hoping that a man would ask them out or talk to them, especially one like you who wants a serious relationship. It does take some guts to get out there and make the first move, but if I could do it, and I did, anyone can do it!
Bye and have a great day!
Not sure if it's exactly what you're looking for but I have this book and found it helpful.
Oh, my bad. :) Communication difficulties.
Yes, that's tough. The other thing is that when people try to give advice it can be very hard for autistic people to take (because autistic people are 'always right'). I know when people try to intervene in my plans I just completely shut them out.
Maybe if there was a less direct way of presenting the information to her. Have you seen this book Decoding Dating? (http://www.amazon.com/Decoding-Dating-Unwritten-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/184905780X) It's designed for men, but something similar might be a non-confrontational list of rules and subtexts that she could draw on without feeling like anyone was pressuring her.
Yes, absolutely voice your opinion, but how you do it is the tricky part. For me, any discussion about autism is a very personal topic, it's very easy for me to lose my cool when I feel someone is not understanding me (when in reality its usually me not understanding them). If you have temper problems like me, its very important to give yourself at least 5 seconds to try to understand what they're really saying before you respond. Try to keep your heart rate low and a calm tone of voice. No one can help you if you lose your logical sense. It's possible this psychologist can't help you and if you get that feeling, find one that has patients with aspergers. I didn't need a diagnosis to know I was autistic. I sought a diagnosis for one reason, I'm brutally honest and I absolutely can't stand lying, when I told people I was autistic and didn't have a diagnosis, it really felt like I was lying. A diagnosis did not give me peace of mind about if I was or wasn't autistic because I had already learned I was autistic.
EDIT: Also, I wanted to add that I'm a very thickheaded person, If I have a strong understanding of something, no one can change my mind. Because of this, the best resources for me personally are books and not counseling. I use my psychologist as a resource to find me useful readings. I suck at dating and making friends and a counselor can't give me the information I need to do better, however books like Decoding Dating and The Science of Making Friends are invaluable resources. I suspect you're a "self learner" too.
In that case, I recommend checking this book out: