>Even when the days are good and everything goes well, I don't feel like there was anything I learned from it.
Is this more a problem with the fact that the director you're working with has a heavy hand on the program and you're working his/her program and not your own? Imagine running your own program and the creative opportunities that will provide you with. Have a heart to heart with the director to see if they have any ideas on how to improve the learning experience.
Also, don't be afraid to connect with the students as fellow humans. I wonder if some of your stress is related to fears about revealing who you are to the students? Let down your own emotional barriers, relax, have fun and don't be afraid of making mistakes, the students will ultimately be very forgiving and understanding. They may be off-standish in reaction to your own coolness to the topic. But mostly, be certain to share your life, your moments of personal learning to show them who you really are and to show them you concern for them and that you care about their learning experience. They will respond in kind. So make it all about 'getting to know you' at first. There's no drive around for this-you'll end up learning a lot from that one effort.
I'm a firm believer in the curriculum of life long learning and work it every day. Let me share my experience and perhaps that will help.
Right now I'm working my way through Developmental Psychology (at age 69!) by reading Development through Life which is the textbook for something like PSY 330. I'd highly recommend it as it may serve to inspire you like it did me. This is not your average boring textbook, it is chock full of inspirational insights into human development which has really come into a science of its own in the past 15 years. The authors point out the importance of education in our society -I'm sure you already know that. But further to that, formal schooling aids children by giving them opportunities to work on social skills needed to acquire technical skills needed to play an instrument. So would it help to look at your future career through the lens of human development? You're helping youngsters find their way in the world and they face many challenges that are similar to what you are now facing. Look at teaching as a team effort.
I was a gifted child but the school system ended up stifling me as I could not learn at my own pace; at one point I was actually six grade levels ahead of the class in 2nd grade. I looked forward to being old enough (fifth grade) when I could join the music program. Eventually, the music program was 80% of the motivation for keeping up with my formal schooling; it was that part that pulled me forward. I grew to dislike math and science classes-I had so lost interest by 10th grade that I was nearly failing Biology and Algebra. It was a weird experience.
After floundering in college I went back to the love of my life which was music and majored in Instrumental Music Ed. But, like yourself, I got flustered at the prospect of facing the classroom drudgery and dropped out of that program and never finished. I regret making that decision. At that time though I was going through a divorce and all of a sudden, I needed space away from the overly burdensome demands of college classes, endless practicing and learning sight singing, that part was not going well at all. Now, I believe I could have overcome those hurdles if I had spent more time looking for assistance.
So let me encourage you to stay the course-switching majors at this point will be time consuming. Finish what you've started but leave yourself the option to change courses later on if after giving it your all you still can't find your way.
If this helps:
Imagine the opportunities to teach students those aspects of music that turned into a life long love for yourself. Share your excitement about the topic with them. Again, teach outside the box, teach solfeggio (not sure why that's not done in music education), teach music history, get the students to share what they love about music. I'm a firm believe in teaching to the fundamentals; remembering my own music experience we too often spent endless hours rehearsing but I wonder if we really learned about *Music*. Sometimes the technicalities merely impeded the understanding of the topic. Playing Music for me is always part of a religious experience or if you will a spiritual experience. See if you can impart that to the students you encounter.
I'm working my way back through some of my saxophone and clarinet method books; expecting that I can soon pull my skills back up to where they were in college.
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PS
I overcame my math fears by taking courses at the local community college. I passed them all (through 2nd semester calculus) with flying colors.