Also this dude currently kinda sucks but back in the day he was my mentor and teacher and at the time he wrote this book I decided to get sober. He does document using H and other drugs / drinking and how he found Buddhism and meditation. I found it to be super helpful as long as reading about using won’t trigger you it’s worth a look ! https://www.amazon.com/Dharma-Punx-Noah-Levine/dp/0060008954
You might gain some benefit from reading Dharma Punx by Noah Levine. It's not the be-all, end-all of Buddhism, not by a long shot, but I found it a really easy way to access an intro to Buddhism when I was in a really rough place in life.
Find a therapist. Telemedicine makes it easier. Specifically a trauma therapist. Someone who specializes in trauma therapy and skills. You can talk over the phone. Work on mindfulness skills. Dialectic skills. Cognitive distortions etc. Therapy can help us get out of our minds and gain control. I’ve also found listening to Tony Robins or Jack Canfield helpful. Have you read Dharma Punx dharma punxby Noah Levine? Good book with life lessons. Like box breathing. The Seals train with this technique. box breathing technique . Everyone’s journey is different. Just posting on this thread is a good start/step. Good luck. You are not alone.
I enjoyed reading Noah Levine's Dharma Punx -the story of how he kicked drugs using meditation -- so much that I've been listening to his 'Against The Stream' dharma talks for years. He's stayed clean now for 20 years. Apparently people in his community have started an alt (or addition) to AA called RefugeRecovery that aims to help people deal with their addictions via buddhism/meditation. It's early days but there might be a group in your area.