> I really don't think she can fathom the idea of a stay at home parent that is male and has swung my wife around to that way of thinking (this is another thing we discussed way back when that has since fallen by the wayside.).
This is false. What actually happened is that your wife has been discussing the possibility of divorce with her mother for a long time now (since before she moved back home, certainly). Your wife is undoubtedly talking to a divorce lawyer, who is telling her what to do in order to secure the best deal for herself. Her mother is conspiring with her to get the best deal possible in the impending divorce. Two days after you move out, you'll be served with divorce papers, and one of the complaints listed will be that you abandoned your family and moved out. "Desertion" is one of the "fault" grounds for a divorce. You need to grow the fuck up right now and start learning about divorce. Go to a bookstore tonight and buy a book on divorce and read it. Do not leave the house until you know what the hell you are doing.
Something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Rules-Men-Managing-Thousands/dp/0471360295
YOUR WIFE IS NOT ON YOUR SIDE. NEITHER IS HER MOTHER.
Messy. You haven't seen messy yet. But you can't avoid it, and trying to avoid "messy" will hurt you terribly.
Do you want custody of the children (i.e., to ever see them again)? Do you want to be their father? Or do you just want to be the guy who sends checks? What's your answer?