I'm sure she goes more than a few days without showering even when Becky is home. Maybe they bought her a toilet aid to save Eric and Rickie from the trauma.
You're not the only person to have this type of issue. Many people have limited mobility for various reasons. Look for a long reach toilet paper wand, or self-wipe wand. You can get something similar for bathing, too, but for the toilet you're going to want the type that grips some toilet paper or a flushable wipe and then releases it into the toilet. Here's one example on Amazon, or you could go to a medical supply place like Carewell or Vitality Medical.
Were you twisting when it reherniated?
I got a TP holder and use a peri-bottle as a bidet to avoid any twisting. You can use put a walker by the toilet backwards to help you stand up.
Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D1M6PGR?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I’ve heard of people using an extender like this. Can’t vouch for it myself cuz i haven’t tried it myself yet. Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long Reach Comfort Wipe,Extends Your Reach Over 15" Grips Toilet Paper or Pre-Moistened Wipes https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D1M6PGR?psc=1&ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_sfl_6KFH031VGQJ6DAQBSCB6
I was able to wipe myself right away, thankfully!
You can find a tool on Amazon made especially for this.
Frustration is absolutely normal! And of course you feel that way. Your life is getting sidelined and your mental health is declining and she won’t even quit smoking. The truth is that for all of your best intentions, YOU DO NOT CONTROL her, and if she wants to kill herself one cigarette at a time then you can’t stop her. Let good that responsibility!
For the morning toilet issue:
I personally could not reach at all. However, this could’ve just been because I’m really short and chunky lol. Thankfully it wasn’t that much of an issue because the meds had me completely unable to shit for the first week and a half, which gave me enough time for an ass wiping accessibility tool to be delivered to my home LOL
Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long Reach Comfort Wipe,Extends Your Reach Over 15" Grips Toilet Paper or Pre-Moistened Wipes https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D1M6PGR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_8SF840YZDQTR0KDWGD2K
There are others but here’s one. No idea how easy/effective they are, but it’s something!
Ooooooooooooooooooof
Can he not get a collapsible wiping stick?
Toilet Aids Tools,Long Reach Comfort Wipe,Extends Your Reach Over 15" Grips Toilet Paper or Pre-Moistened Wipes https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07D1M6PGR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Y9FwFb8WGM9GJ
RIP my amazon suggestions lol.
Well since you asked... they can use a tool that extends their reach.
https://www.amazon.com/Fanwer-Toilet-Comfort-Extends-Pre-Moistened/dp/B07D1M6PGR/
I got a toilet arm extender
Fanwer Toilet Aids Tools,Long... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D1M6PGR?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I am currently waiting on surgery, but when I got injuries on both wrists, I got a wipe extender. It's basically a long wand that you put the tissue on and then use to wipe yourself. Worked great for me. https://www.amazon.com/Fanwer-Toilet-Comfort-Extends-Pre-Moistened/dp/B07D1M6PGR/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=wipe+extender&qid=1634975773&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExSEVRRFlRQzcxQ0JPJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMzE2MzU1NzMwUERES0lCQTNIJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA5NzE0ODMyTlgyQldGWFE1U0kyJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==
Toilet Aids Tools,Long Reach Comfort Wipe,Extends Your Reach Over 15" Grips Toilet Paper or Pre-Moistened Wipes https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07D1M6PGR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_3K8KH8NS6S99P90DENE8
A special big boys stick
You think he has to hold it with his mouth? link to a brush
It’s usually called the comfort wipe.