As a lot of people have stated, ADHD in women is often misdiagnosed as bipolar. I'm lucky enough to have both, and both are common comorbidities of the other. ADHD is what has the most severe impact on my life as far as starting/completing tasks, hygiene, organization, keeping appointments, household duties, and my professional life.
When I'm in a manic state, my ADHD can feel like a superpower, scrubbing baseboards at 3 am and neatly wrapping every extra cord and charging cable in the house, etc. But when a depressive state sets in, my ADHD unmedicated can leave me feeling paralyzed for days on end where even turning a light off seems too hard.
I hope she can get a diagnosis and the treatment/meds/therapy to help. It really has made a drastic improvement in my life and makes me feel like I'm not drowning in an unmanageable sea of chaos.
Also, highly recommend this book for both of you. It was the first book my psychiatrist recommended for both me and my husband after my diagnosis. Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD https://www.amazon.com/dp/0996983902/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_C6ZMS000769N2XVBE7FY
Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD https://www.amazon.com/dp/0996983902/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_wCqBDbE9V4HMB
Cant recommend this book enough. I’ve read (well, listened, I get audiobooks) a bunch of adhd books in my life and hands down this was the most life changing in terms of helping me accept and embrace it.