>She is very religious and believes in these conspiracy theories like the repitillians, "the order", illuminati, etc.
You need a psychologist that specializes in victims of sects. If you can't afford that, read books by Steven Hassan.
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
>but winning an argument against someone stupid is impossible
Do not ever argue, every time you prove her wrong, she will become more convinced she is right. If you do it enough times, she will become convinced you are one of "them", and are trying to brainwash or possibly kill her.
Check out Steve Hassan's book Freedom of Mind: helping loved ones leave controlling people, cults and beliefs. Hassan is a mental health counselor, cult expert and former Moonie. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0967068819/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_JuQ9FbV40YVDH
Hi C_Woodswalker,
Thank you for your kind words. My goal is to help people think for themselves & if they can learn to do to this at an early age, they are protected against the effects of cult mind control.
I am always interested in hearing the stories of how my work helped ones be free from the effects of undue influence. Would you send me a message and let me know I helped you?
Also, here is the link to my book Freedom of Mind: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8.
And, if you have not yet done so, visit my website at www.freedomofmind.com. You can learn about my work & how I help ones that have left a cult (regain their identity, eliminate triggers, etc), as well as, help those with a loved one trapped inside a cult (non-coercive intervention).
Thanks again for reaching out.
-Steven Hassan
Go thumb through Freedom of Mind by Dr. Steve Hassan. He has been deprogramming cult members since 1976 and is extremely knowledgeable.
Congratulations on your freedom! I know it’s difficult to lose family members but you have to be your true self. It’s time to put your dreams first, because before you were putting the Borg first. Some helpful books to help you heal:
Bonnie Zieman former JW who became a therapist:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25773486-exiting-the-jw-cult
Steven Hassan therapist, cult expert
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
https://freedomofmind.com/the-bite-model-and-jehovahs-witnesses/
You may find it helpful to read about cults and how to help people who are stuck in cult like thinking. Steve Hassan’s information is very informative on this subject: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
I hear you, I see where you are coming from and I acknowledge your frustration with the situation. I am frustrated too that there are increasing numbers are men that are gravitating to toxic ideologies that teach them to hate women, harm us in so many ways, and not respect us. The best way to deal with a problem like this is not to live in fear and react to it, but to understand it so we can make smart choices on how to really tackle the problem.
The most fundamental principle in social psychology is "the false attribution error" which says that all of us have a bias to attribute too much of a persons behavior on their character and not on environmental factors. And the another important concept to help us understand is emotional needs. We all have emotion needs that include the need for control, a sense of accomplishment, and security among many other needs. And these are emotional needs not wants. We all have these needs whether we accept it or not. And this is an important part of having emotional intelligence.
The Incel movement is very much like an extremist cult which like most cults has, a simplistic black and white us vs them worldview, and discourages critical thinking. And like most cults it preys on people who are in an emotionally vulnerable state because some part of their emotional needs aren't being meant. It's no different from people joining Scientology, the Moonies, or an abusive yoga cult. And it's important to remember that scientifically it doesn't matter how smart you are. Everyone can be fall into a cult if they are in a vulnerable point in their lives. My guess is that the men who fall into the Incel movement have unmet emotional needs of some kind or are having trouble with a part of their lives and the Incel cult like most cults offers them a "solution" to their problems because they can't seem to see a solution anywhere else.
So the real question is how do we get these men to leave the Incel movement? The answer to that is that we have to use that same tactics that people use to get people out of other extremists organizations like the white power movement, or Scientology. And these tactics don't need to be giving in to what they want because that is not going to work any better than having a Scientologist talk for hours about L. Ron. Hubbard. The best way to counteract this movement is if people to talk them to see what was the emotional hook that got them into that group in the first place for example by asking when did they first hear about the group? What they think of it at first? This can help you see what emotional needs the cult is exploiting to keep them in. Try planting seeds of doubt, you have to remember you are almost never going to get an extremist out of their mindset in one go because it takes months to develop and extremists mindset and it can take about that long to get them out of that mindset. There are MANY tactics you can use to help you help Incels leave the group. Here are more resources to use bellow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JM0x7_w4tA&t=2183s
The Incel movement is a very scary phenomenon but we can't just ignore it and hope it goes away. That's an unhealthy way of coping with the problem. All of us both Men and Women have to work together if we want to try to stop this problem.
I'll recommend two books that may or may not meet your criteria:
* Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs
* Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion
Also if you want to read between the lines about leaving religion while you think you are reading a really fun and exciting young-adultish fantasy story, there is always His Dark Materials trilogy
2 books.
You must pour over the free links here especially the Lincoln project podcast on that page
That will give you a start.
Also find free or controlled public mental health counseling in your area... Make sure the counselor is not Q.
> The first thing you need to do is convince her to leave.
I am concerned that this may force her deeper into the cult. Cults like that already know that new members will be told this, so they program them to believe that anyone who opposes their views will be seen as "the enemy", in whatever form. Perhaps it would be better just to leave the channels of communication open.
Please know that I am saying this respectfully. Sometimes when people are confronted with beliefs they are not yet ready to acknowledge, they double down.
Not sure if this would help, but Steve Hassan is an expert on how to exit cults: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
Seriously, check out this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
He has excellent techniques that could help you - more detailed post above. ^^
Steve Hassan is a cult expert and I've heard his books are really excellent at breaking cult mind control.
http://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
This book is great:
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
If I were you I would get the kindle version (because you would get it immediately + it is only $10) and start reading through it ASAP.
Basically - what the author says - the best way to get someone to change their mind (after being brainwashed) is to encourage them to think for themselves and to think critically. When people have been brainwashed - or in an abusive relationship or group, etc. - their ability to think critically goes away - allowing them to be sucked into everything and believe total garbage.
So you wouldn't want to try to change his mind and convince him that Trump is bad - you would instead try to get him to think for himself. Once he is able to do that he will be able to see facts and will be able to see that Trump is bad and his mind will change.
You might see that the more you say that Trump is bad the more your dad believes in him. Instead you should ask your dad questions that challenge Trump. Give him the idea that you have an open mind and are genuinely interested in Trump and your dad's support of him. If he resists you say something like - if it is true then it should hold up. If you challenge a fact the fact is still a fact so your dad should be able to answer your questions... but he will find out that he can't answer your questions factually and things will start to fall apart for him.
The book does a wonderful job of explaining these techniques in detail and why the author uses these techniques now - compared to deprogramming techniques that were in vogue many years ago.
Don't give up! Be patient! Be calm! It will probably take a good amount of time while he slowly realizes the truth. And always keep your chill - even if your dad spouts out the worst Trump stuff - if he gets angry don't get angry. He will eventually change.