What is Reddit's opinion of Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated?

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Oh have I ever been here. My SS is days from 16 and 2.5 years ago we had the whole lying about stepmomstermash thing. Outrageous things that made no sense, akin to the you sleeping. I took a big step back and only enforced what my hubs set out and told SS I would be enforcing. Hubs had to do it all. I have since stepped back in, but only with hubs knowing and telling SS what was going on and that basically anything I do is a bonus and can easily stop again.

I listened to Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated and it has helped me a lot in how I am viewing things. It helped me see that I was being treated more like a parent and not as much evil stepmom as I thought. Maybe it will help you too.

I also sought counseling when the initial lie bomb hit and it helped me sort through the feelings.

As others have said, welcome to the teen years! I highly recommend reading/listening to Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall and have your wife read/listen, too.

Some of this is just a flailing teenage way to assert control over their own lives. They're in the weird space of not being kids but not being adults and it's frustrating them, add in all the things their bodies are going through and it is a wonder any of us make it to adulthood.

If dinner complaints are common, guess who gets to chose a meal and prepare it once a week? That's right, it's you kiddo! If getting dirty clothes to the laundry room is a fight, guess who's being introduced to the washer and dryer and has 2 days a week they can do laundry? That's right, it's you kiddo!

Forced apologies and arbitrary punishments are not going to work on a teen any more than they work on smaller children. Logic, reason, and natural consequences will make the most impact.

As grapes are pretty toxic to dogs, an explanation on why leaving them on the table is a bad idea is needed, then if he still won't move them, mom gets them and puts them in the fridge. You want warm grapes, kiddo? Do it in a way that will not harm a member of the family.

Being a parent takes a lot of work. Many think once they're more independent it gets easier, but in my experience, it doesn't, it just is difficult in different ways.

Edit: typo

You sound like an amazing step dad! I think you should keep on keeping on.

Keep in mind that teenagerdom brings about interest in sex. So it is likely a weird thing for her to even consider loving you at this point. She's now trying to break away from her child self and grow into her adult self. Love and loving physical contact with parents starts to get weird, add in that you aren't her bio and... I'm sure you can imagine how mixed up that can make a person feel.

If you feel like you are both having a good time and she wants to hang out, keep doing it, having a bond with you will be good for her in the tumultuous teen years to come. If you feel like she maybe isn't as into it, keep offering with sincerity and don't let a no hurt your feelings. It has everything to do with being a teenager.

I would highly recommend reading Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated, as well as Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World, and for the boys Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World.

Book rec that a number of people I know have said they found useful for figuring out navigating the teen years:

https://www.amazon.com/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374528535

"Get out of my life. But first can you drive me & Cheryl to the mall?"

She’s 14…Recall that a teenager’s job in life is to become independent of their parents and this is the way unfortunately that they do it . Check out this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Life-First-Could-Drive-Cheryl/dp/0374528535/ref=nodl_