Also most people don't realize how easy their door is to kick down. Most deadbolts go into a half inch pine board with a small plate around the hole. The plates are usually only held in with short screws through that half inch board. Unless the builders or owner took the time to do it right and put a striker or backing plate in the door casing or reinforced the casing with a more solid board it really only takes a strong guy and a few solid kicks.
The only other thing I would add is that you can buy security film for your windows like this. 3M makes their own version. You can install it yourself though it takes the proper set up and patience. It won't stop a burglar or home invader if they are dead set on breaking through, but it should take a number of solid hits before it starts to give. The glass still breaks, but the film holds the glass together. If someone is just trying to smash and grab it might make them have to make more noise or take more time than they are comfortable with and just take off.
You're so welcome. I'm glad you're feeling a little better.
Your concerns:
Rails on the stairs not holding baby gate - We can figure this one out. If you post a picture, between all of these brilliant ladies we can make this safe.
Tall dress/cabinets falling over - same goes. If you don't know how to secure these to the walls correctly, post a picture of what it is and where it's located and we will figure it out.
Radiators not being covered/expensive to cover - I'm not sure what the landlord is responsible for in this case. Does anyone else know the answer to that? If they are not responsible for keeping the radiators covered there's a few things we can do. Again, post pictures and we may need to get measurements to help you find a way to cover them safely. Or b) I can donate personalized meal/workout plans for donations to help you raise the money to get proper covers.
Stained glass window panes breaking/the lead that separates the panes - I'm not sure how this would work on stained glass (I assume it's textured?) but there are products like this to help with glass breaking: https://www.amazon.com/Protection-Security-ShatterGARD-BurglarGARD-Burglars/dp/B008MZMSA0 If that wouldn't work, there are other things we can do to temporarily cover up portions of the stained glass to keep it from getting damaged.
Forgetful about phone/misplacing it in case of an emergency - You get get an Amazon Echo with Dialpad integration. You could call out to Alexa to make a phone call for you in case you were to lose your phone/unable to use your hands.
Any other thoughts, ladies, on how to solve these?
We're military, too :-) I grew up in the Marine Corps and I married into the Army (though part of our agreement before getting married was that he was to get out asap). It's shitty that your mom isn't there for you in a way that's helpful. Remember, "No" is a complete sentence. You don't have time for nonsense anymore. You can say no and walk away. If she is actually causing you stress despite good communication, then I would just take a break from her until you feel ready to try again. If you do. Get rid of people who don't add value to your and your family unit's lives. You are so, so strong. I know it's hard, but it'll be worth it in the long run to make your lives less stressful.
What you're feeling is totally normal. It's hard to realize that we are all in fact, mortal. We aren't untouchable. It's fucking terrifying. It's bad enough when we realize it about ourselves but it's soul shattering when we realize it can happen to our kids.
Keep communicating with your husband. Lean on him. And on us. We got you. ;-)