What is Reddit's opinion of He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001HC8516/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

> I grew up without much affection within the family

Hey, I wish I could give you an internet hug. Growing up, my family was similar. We never hugged or said nice things to each other or even spent much time around each other, really. I only realized how cold my family was when my first boyfriend told me that I didn't know how to love. He was correct. And though I felt like an idiot doing it, I finally just buckled down and read all the self-help books that I never thought would apply to me. <em>He's Just Not That Into You</em> and <em>The Five Love Languages</em> are the ones I recall right off the top of my head. The first one helped break me out of my cycle of thinking about him. The second one helped me realize how many different ways there are of showing love (its author is a Christian, but it works whatever religion you are).

> i know im supposed to start with self love. But i dont know where/how to begin.

What does love look like for you? When do you feel loved? Is it when someone listens? Is it when someone looks at you and sees you for who you are? Is it when someone holds you? Is it when someone buys you a thoughtful present that shows they understand what you like?

And here's the thing... For now, do that for yourself.

Pretend that you are a wonderful, big, warm mother, and the person you see in the mirror is your little girl. What will you say to her? How will you show her how much you love her? What do you want her to have and learn?

I wish you the best on your journey.

aw, I totally get both the need to explain (unintentional humblebrag, hehe) and rant. From your description, I think you're selling yourself short and you shouldn't let a frustrating string of dates affect your 'worth.' Seems like you have a lot of qualities girls would eat up once they get to know you: you seem fun to be around, a social producer, and with your qualities I'll bet you can think of some really creative/romantic dates.

Just have to figure out why they're turning you down... thinking back, are you really aggressive or awkward in the beginning or do girls say you give off a player vibe? maybe you're talking about work too much? are these issues you're having from online dating?

If you're really this frustrated, you should take a little break from dating until you feel that it will be fun to try again. It would suck if you met the perfect girl when you're not at your best. I made the mistake of going on a couple of dates when I wasn't confident, and regret how I acted. Also, not sure if you looked for advice elsewhere, but the most helpful resources I found to try to understand different perspectives were https://www.joshsway.com/articles/all, doctornerdlove.com, and http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding-ebook/dp/B001HC8516/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1454748728&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=he%27s+just+not+that+into+you