That's more or less not possible. It is in the nature of the relationship, not the people.
So, while being careful about who you choose, be even more careful about how you let that relationship shape up. And be aware that no matter what you do, there will always be a tension, because the interests do not line up.
I have had two stepmothers and my father has been in several relationships, and I've seen this stuff unfold over a 30-year period since my parents started splitting up. And I'm not saying not to get a new partner - just be aware that your new partner's self-interest and your children's self-interests will diverge much more than the self-interests of biological parents and their children.
The definitive and classic treatment of this question is given in Wilson and Daly's book <em>Homicide</em>. This well documented example of sexual dimorphism should not be a controversial fact, nor should it be an unqualified indictment of masculinity or a vehicle for anti-male bigotry.