If you're playing in handheld mode, I really enjoy playing with the Hori Split Pad Pros. They have awesome grip, don't use much battery, and now come in a variety of different colors (Black, Blue, Red, Pokémon, Pac-Man, Monster Hunter Rise, etc.) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_PKS3C3FA5KKFV57115P5?psc=1

For wireless options, I'll have to echo what others have said here - either Power A or the 8bitdo Pro Controller options are your best bet. The official Pro controller if you can find it cheap.

I used the Satisfye for a while. While the grip was very comfortable, the buttons on the Nintendo Joycons are still too small for me.

I upgraded to the Hori Split Pad Pro and it's perfect for big hands old men like me.

Hori Split Pad Pro

Try Hori Split Pad Pro…

Hori Nintendo Switch Split Pad Pro (Red) Ergonomic Controller for Handheld Mode - Officially Licensed By Nintendo - Nintendo Switch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_gl_i_KGM8R7P80WET3YVSNE3Z?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

If you are looking for better controller to use in handheld I HIGHLY recommend the link I’m pasting below. It’s a big solid grip, the analog sticks are a good size, buttons and triggers are sturdy and big. I play in handheld almost exclusively and it’s what I use Hori Nintendo Switch Split Pad Pro (Red) Ergonomic Controller for Handheld Mode - Officially Licensed By Nintendo - Nintendo Switch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ME749H6PB66PY4KHTJDD

The Hori Split Pad Pro is the answer, I love mine, haven't used Nintendo joy cons in several years.

https://www.amazon.com/Nintendo-Switch-Split-Ergonomic-Controller-Handheld/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=2XHGPPQP7BD47&dchild=1&keywords=hori+split+pad+pro&qid=1635385274&sprefix=Hori+&sr=8-4#

Source: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197?tag=crazydeals02-20&linkCode=ogi&th=1&psc=1

Hori Nintendo Switch Split Pad Pro (Red) Ergonomic Controller for Handheld Mode - Officially Licensed By Nintendo - Nintendo Switch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MGRBXGVGSMYDEK01G62J

https://www.amazon.com/Nintendo-Switch-Split-Ergonomic-Controller-Handheld/dp/B08FJ8B197/

These controls added to the Switch might be big enough.

You can make one of these or buy buy one of these.

Have you tried the hori joycons? They are more like a regular controller and they have an extra button the back of each. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_7XW6PC4YJMJRRCTPPYRT?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

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From your description I imagine youre looking for Joy Cons that have those trigger buttons on the back where your middle/ring finger would sit? If so theres the Hori Split Pad Pro. I have them and I love them, however, they only work in handheld mode as they dont have bluetooth built in. I also have a wired PDP one with those triggers and its real great.

https://www.amazon.ca/Nintendo-Ergonomic-Controller-Handheld-Officially/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2NSD4W1O8SQVB&dchild=1&keywords=hori+split+pad+pro&qid=1620756305&sprefix=hori+split+%2Caps%2C273&sr=8-3

Maybe this https://www.amazon.com/Nintendo-Switch-Split-Ergonomic-Controller-Handheld/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=sr_1_31?crid=3452U57OXF46Z&dchild=1&keywords=joycon+grip&qid=1609447793&sprefix=Joycon+gri%2Caps%2C187&sr=8-31

Source: https://www.amazon.com.mx/dp/B08FJ8B197?th=1&psc=1&tag=deals-mx-20&camp=videojuegosmx

Hori Nintendo Switch Split Pad Pro (Red) Ergonomic Controller for Handheld Mode - Officially Licensed By Nintendo - Nintendo Switch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_0F6ZFbTWN876W

Yeah I suggest getting some offbrand ones which hilariously last longer.

Hori Nintendo Switch Split Pad Pro (Red) Ergonomic Controller for Handheld Mode - Officially Licensed By Nintendo - Nintendo Switch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FJ8B197/