I don't have too much time to reply to this although I do want to suggest you do some research. A book that I would suggest is "how God works: a logical inquiry of faith" by Marshall Brain. It has some awesome information and logical points that I believe will help you figure things out. Best of luck brother.
http://www.amazon.com/How-God-Works-Logical-Inquiry/dp/1454910615
I enjoyed reading this one:
https://www.amazon.com/How-God-Works-Logical-Inquiry/dp/1454910615/ref=nodl_
https://www.amazon.com/How-God-Works-Logical-Inquiry/dp/1454910615
another good one, from the author of GodIsImaginary.com and WhyWontGodHealAmputees.com
Also, check out the related site godisimaginary.com. He also has a book out, <em>How God Works</em>.
It's about the closest thing to atheist evangelist material I know of.