What is Reddit's opinion of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love?

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How hard is it to get a job in a different school district in Ontario? Flexibility will go a long way in helping you connect with a good guy. Think long term, are the years (iA) you'd get with a potentially good husband and father to your kids worth the few months it would take to get settled in a new school district?

I also saw this in your post history: > Is it the bad boy or the best friend that leads to a good Nikkah?

You should do some introspection on your preferences! Again, think long term, which of those guys is going to be there for you years down the line? I really recommend that you read the book "How to Not Die Alone" by relationship coach and researcher Logan Ury. It's from the non-Muslim perspective, but much of her advice can be adapted for Muslims. In her book, she says people often don't prioritize the things that make for lasting relationships - she even gives an example from her own life of pursuing the wrong guy and dismissing a good one (who is now her husband) before coming to her senses.

>But then he started to treat me like crap and not put effort into getting me turned on anymore

3- Well that's understandably un-sexy. it sounds like your body can love it under good conditions. The trick is finding guys who you can create sexy interactions your body likes.

4- Working this out will be a benefit. Having a therapist is a step in the right direction. It's possible your therapist is missing something, they're not all perfect. Maybe there's something to the "right person" idea, but I wouldn't discount your intuition that there are other factors at play. I think a good goal would be to get to the point where you no longer consider your mental health as "horrible". Like if you feel reasonably good about yourself and don't hate yourself, have some meaning and enjoyment. There are tests, like for example the PHQ-9, that add up numbers about how you're not feeling good. It's really up to a therapist to track these numbers and interpret what they mean, but you can get the test if you Google this up (I'm sure most therapists already have, on the off chance not you could ask about it or even print it): "PHQ9 id date 08.03.pdf "

Once you get the feeling that your mental health is better than "horrible", you up your odds of meeting people you feel good about. It takes a good amount of effort, but I can imagine you branching out and learning to make some friends and getting out there doing hobbies you enjoy and meeting people.

Actually there's a book that has a ton of step-by-step, specific things you can do:

"How Not to Die Alone" https://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Die-Alone-Surprising-ebook/dp/B08BZVKX75/

If you feel terrible about yourself for whatever reasons, your body could shut down the "flowers" of sex drive and libido until the core "plant" is in better shape. I'd suggest working with your therapist to help undo the things the feel terrible and unhappy. From there you can find ways to enjoy hobbies and meet people and even start going on dates and date-like meeting situations.

As for literal sex it's OK to use lube too.