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A book I'm reading now: I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help! How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment. The author's brother is schizophrenic and so this book isn't dry intellectual arguments, but based on stories where he couldn't help or made things worse and then ways he finally found to deal better.
My first take away is that there are several kinds of mental illness where the fact they can't see that anything is wrong is a part of the disease. I like how the book helps me to figure out how to support them but not give in to their weird theories. "Well, I love you and I can see you are suffering and I want to help with that, even I don't buy everything else you are saying..." kind of stuff.
It's helped me to see what I might have called "Their problem!" as their prison. Somebody close to me right now has fallen to paranoia. Paranoia can be constant or it can be a reaction to higher levels of stress. I'm hoping for the 2nd! I can't say that this book has made everything OK, nor am I sure I can deal with this on a daily basis. However, it has helped me get out of my head and my needs and my hurts and see them in a new light.
I walked away, full no contact with my family or origin. I am a big believer in not giving narcissists even a chance at taking a swipe at me. However, I'm not sure that is a reasonable boundary for somebody with mental illness. I don't know what is though. I don't even understand how much we can be there for them. However, on the subreddit for paranoia, they plead not to be abaonded. They can't even admit that there is anything wrong with them, but they still beg for support. I really don't have any answers.
I think it’d hard to deal with mental illness when you haven’t been around it before or had it. It can be very scary when someone is in psychosis. Do you know if she is getting help from a therapist and psychiatrist. You alone can’t be that for her. I understand why you are uncertain too of whether to stay in contact. You need to take care of your health first. If you are in the US, there is a support group called DBSA that offers support to friends and family with someone with mental illness. Find a depression, mental health support group and see if they have any ideas of how to love and be around someone with mental illness. It’s very lonely when you have mental illness. But it’s not fair to you to have you alone fix that loneliness. She needs to spread out support over many people and a therapist can help with that. If she doesn’t want help, try this book https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Mental-Illness-Accept-Treatment-ebook/dp/B004Z7SI7Q/ref=sr_1_2?crid=49V04HH4LF3O&dchild=1&keywords=i+dont+need+help+i+am+not+sick&qid=1608754956&sprefix=I+don%E2%80%99t+need+help%2Caps%2C212&sr=8-2
Do what your needs say and also be mindful that not everyone sees the world the same. She interacts in psychosis with a world that is very real and sees no reason to believe others don’t see it. But with medication and therapy you can help keep mental health under control. There will still be flair ups but it doesn’t mean they will last forever. I think you are a very caring person. But we aren’t super human or the dali lama so we have limits of what our emotions and world can handle. Communication is very helpful to to express your needs and boundaries. And if it doesn’t work our it doesn’t work out. Best you can do is ask her to get help, listen to her and yourself and go from there.
Sorry you are going through this. It’s Hard on you too. So look into getting help too. Therapy could help give you energy to keep being there for your friend. It’s like caregiver burn out. Sounds like she keeps reliving her abuse. She thinks she doesn’t need help because this is her reality. She feels love from abuse because your mind begins to believe that is the only way to feel connected. For her, she’s only familiar with someone sticking around if she lets herself be abused. So inside she might hate it but can’t really see that. It’s so hurtful to watch.Since in away this is a mental health issue and it would help to see a therapist, this book might help you. https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Mental-Illness-Accept-Treatment-ebook/dp/B004Z7SI7Q/ref=sr_1_2?crid=49V04HH4LF3O&dchild=1&keywords=i+dont+need+help+i+am+not+sick&qid=1608754956&sprefix=I+don%E2%80%99t+need+help%2Caps%2C212&sr=8-2
It’s for people with mental illness that insist they don’t need help. It could give you ways to get your friend help. Your friend doesn’t see a problem and it’s heart breaking to see her destroy herself. Reach out to a rape crisis center and see what advice they give. And contact a group dealing with domestic violence to sed what they suggest. It’s so hard watching someone destroy themselves and not being able to handle positive thoughts and suggestions. It’s like you’re offering your hand out in support but she’s not taking it or even slapping your hand away. Don’t go this alone. It can hurt mentally.
He has a problem with insight. I suggest you buy that book everyone talks about. Lack of insight will keep him from accepting his condition and all other associated behaviors will not improve until he does.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004Z7SI7Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_0RMWFb877K4S0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We don't always have the ability to find time to read but I think this would be very worthwhile and it'll help you tremendously in the long run. I've read some myself and so far I haven't had any major setbacks with my SO. I know, it's anecdotal experience but I'm a firm believer of this book. I suggest you get the digital version.
NTA. Mental illness where the patient doesn't realize there's anything wrong with him is the worst kind. I feel very sorry for you.
A few years ago when we were considering adopting a kid who might be bipolar, I found a very good book that outlines ways to work with a loved one in that situation. Perhaps it might be helpful to you.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004Z7SI7Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_99ATFbJ9EGQ44
This book was helpful to me when I was in school (I am an LCSW) and with my own brother, who has schizophrenia.
Well, it is almost impossible to be honest, but give this book a try. Also look up Dr Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube for a introduction.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Someone-Mental-Illness-Accept-Treatment-ebook/dp/B004Z7SI7Q