This product inspired me to write my first Amazon review, which is as follows:
As ridiculous as these pizza scissors may look, they have truly changed my life. Before the pizza scissors, I was a homely looking girl, ostracized by her peers and unfathomably depressed. After the pizza scissors, however, I morphed into a popular, sexy, ethnically-ambiguous super-babe.
Get these scissors and you'll be popular and attractive, the only two things that really matter in this world.