My parents were ok with me being gay for the most part. The rest of my family, not so much. I think first and foremost you should consider therapy with a pro LGBTQ therapist to deal with any feeling of shame you have. If cost is an issue and you’re in the US, most counties have some type of sliding scale mental health service. Just be sure to request someone pro LGBTQ. If your shame is rooted in your religion, you should read this book https://www.amazon.com/Homosexual-Neighbor-Revised-Updated-Christian/dp/0060670789. It helped me work through my religious conflicts. As to how to handle your family: first you are under no obligation to come out to them if you don’t want to. OTOH, if at some point you decide you need to, then you might want to consider cutting them off if necessary. I had to do that with three of my sisters. I told them that love is not supposed to be conditional, and if they could not love me for who I am then they don’t get to be a part of my life. It took six months, but I eventually was able to rebuild my relationship with two of my three sisters. The other one, I just say fuck her. Being gay is not the end of the world, honestly if I could take a pill and be straight, I’d say no thank you. This community is wonderful and I’ve no doubt you will find incredible support here.
I agree about therapy, but the very best thing I ever did was read this book. It helped me reconcile my sexuality with my religion.
https://www.amazon.com/Homosexual-Neighbor-Revised-Updated-Christian/dp/0060670789
A classic book on this topic -
http://www.amazon.com/Homosexual-Neighbor-Revised-Updated-Christian/dp/0060670789