What is Reddit's opinion of It's Not All About "Me": The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone?

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Read this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0060YIBLK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_CC3C63AKJYE4N73R1SPG

They're not paying me, it's just helped me alot.

Author is a Cia or FBI (can't recall) interrogator, but his whole technique is be friendly and likeable so they trust you and volunteer information vs like torture etc.

Book is written really simply and straightforward like an army field manual. Tells you direct techniques to appear friendly and likeable in a conversation. How to get people comfortable with your presence etc.

When I actively read it the first time, I just tried the advice out talking to gas station attendants and the like, just to see. Within 10 minutes the guy broke down and told me about his divorce, his anxieties over custody battle, just really told me wayy too much. (Has worked for several people not just the one guy but oof.)

Really helped me and a bunch of friends I've lent it to. One friend called it "the closest thing I've read to a real like skill book from skyrim".

(Context: I am diagnosed ADHD and suspect undiagnosed ASD, so I have to manually navigate conversations, can't do it by feel. This book helped ALOT)

Hope it helps 🤙

This is a great book to get you started on improving your communication skills. It's short and to the point which is great for starting out. It also has real world exercises you can try to get better at conversing with others. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0060YIBLK?ie=UTF8&at=aw-android-pc-us-20&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-All-About-Techniques-ebook/dp/B0060YIBLK

A better question to ask is, why do I feel anxious in social situations? Because once you address that, you'll have the freedom and confidence to do anything you want.

I'm not judging -- I felt socially anxious for awhile, now it's basically gone. For me, there were a bunch of underlying causes (most I covered in Play It Away), but for a lot of young people, the biggest sources of social anxiety are:

• Severe lack of quality face-to-face time with friends. Which is why people need to PLAY MORE. Sign up for some sport, group activity, or organization where you can be a high-status person and meet nice people. I do improv, basketball, kickball, gardening, and volunteering, and I ask my friends to get meals or hang out with me multiple times each week.
• Chronic sleep deprivation. Humans really need 10-12 hours of sleep to function, not the 6-8 that was thrust upon us after the industrial revolution. Stop looking at screens and bright lights after 8pm. Turn your electronics off.
• Caffeine and stimulants. That stuff literally wires you to go into fight-or-flight mode around people. Drink more water.
• Repeatedly putting yourself out there in small ways. Maybe it's telling a joke to a cashier, or complimenting your waitress, then seeing that everything is okay! If you keep putting yourself into situations that give you social anxiety, you'll eventually feel safe and calm. I remember going to a pickup soccer game when I moved to Austin. I knew no one on the field, and hadn't played soccer since I was 14. When I got there, I got nervous and nearly walked away. But I decided to push through and had a blast. Same deal with improv, actually. Scary at first, but ended up being one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

I really can't overstate having consistent, repeated, FUN face-to-face time with people you genuinely enjoy being around. This alone can steadily eliminate your social anxiety. Oh, and stop watching the news. It makes you afraid of the world when you shouldn't be :)

P.S. This book is great for getting better socially. Awful cover, bad title, but AMAZING content. Highly recommended!

Hmmm. Ok, interesant. Cred ca inteleg cel putin sentimentul.

[pauza de gandire]

Ok, O sa iau de bine tot ce mi-ai zis, si incerc sa vin cu chestii din directii diverse.

In primul rand e posibil ca in interactiunile pe care le ai sa nu faci interlocutorul sa se simta bine. Nu prin defecte, ci pentru ca nu ai prins arta de a "peria social" pe cineva. Pot sa-ti recomand asta, e cea mai faina resursa pe care o stiu in domeniu, si ca bonus e extrem de scurta - am recitit-o recent intr-un zbor+aeroport.

A doua chestie e sa subliniez si mai mult ideea de context. E un pic offtopic si long read, dar uite o discutie despre subiectul asta. N-o sa incerc sa reproduc aici, slava domnului ca e destul de detaliat subiectul acolo. Dar ideea e ca trebe neaparat sa cauti cercuri cu subiecte care iti plac. Ai fi surprinsa, dar exista pe orice domeniu. Facebook and stuff nu ajuta la socializare per se, poate cel mult sa gasesti grupuri pe domeniile respective. De cont de messenger cel putin ai nevoie.

A treia varianta e sa iesim la o bere. Daca esti draguta e foarte probabil sa flirtez, dar pot sa promit ca o sa fiu (posibil brutal de) deschis cu ce observ. In ultima instanta, nu prea poti diagnostica online probleme pe offline. Nu-i graba btw, in bucuresti ajung in 2-3 saptamani.

Sa stii ca-ti inteleg frustrarea, si eu am trecut prin chestii asemanatoare cu relatiile acum 10 ani si inca sunt sucarit pe prieteni ca nici unul nu mi-a spus "you're borderline fat and hitting on hot girls". Probabil de asta hipercompensez acum. Asa ca am un prieten la care-i aduc aminte ca-i gras de fiecare data cand il vad :p

It's Not All About "Me": The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0060YIBLK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_WL89Ab1KMQGQE