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It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library)?
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Adding in, a great book for young children is It's not the stork. It talks about everything from anatomy to where babies come from in an age appropriate manner. It also has sections on ok and not OK touch, how to say no, and what to do if something happens.
One passage in particular hit me hard, saying essentially "if you tell and adult in your life and they don't believe or help you, keep telling other adults such as a teacher, doctor, or police. Most adults want to help.". It broke my heart to think of kids who report and aren't believed :-(
WTF are you on about? Any age is appropriate for teaching children how the human body works. Any time kids have questions they should be answered truthfully and in an age appropriate manner.
Here’s a link: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
I also highly recommend It's not the Stork. It is a basic into to sex book that explains everything at a 3-6 year old level.
It includes basic anatomy, proper names for parts, how babies are made, and safety. It talks about how families come in all shapes and sizes, and much more.
I also recommend the other books, It's So Amazing for 7 year olds to puberty and "It's Perfectly Normal" for puberty age kids.
My daughter loves the book and it still catches me a bit off guard when she picks it for bedtime stories (we'll just do a chapter or two). Oh great, impromptu sex talk tonight I see. I do my best to make it no big deal.
No reason to lie, and absolutely fine and NORMAL to talk about sex and where babies come from even with young children. They are curious, and don't need detailed examples, but they also shouldn't be lied to.
Sex is not shameful. Sex shouldn't be taboo. Sex feels good, but has a lot of complicated feelings and potential consequences, so should be done by adults who are able to handle that.
We picked up this book (It's Not the Stork!) based on suggestions from a Facebook parenting group, and it's been a hit with our 6 year old son. He was fascinated by all of it, and it does a good job of keeping it factual and grounded without getting into overly explicit detail, leaving that for other books in the series that are aimed at older age groups.
The same author of the first two books also published It's Not The Stork. I haven't read it because it's intended for ages younger than I teach (4-7), but since I like the author I'm sure it's probably really good as well.
Buy them now and stash them if you have the means. I've found they often sell out from time to time, unfortunately. It looks like Amazon is in stock for all three (though if you can order through a local bookstore please do).
I highly recommend you start early. Many people say that it should be an ongoing conversation, but many just can’t ever find the time to start. It also was not so easy for us, but we tried.However a great book was recommended to me and I used it to start the conversation with my daughter. It’s It’s Not The Stork My daughters best friend got her period at the beginning of 4th grade and mine was quite concerned, she knew what they were as we had talked, she saw me using pads etc. But this book was great to start all kinds of discussions.
I remember getting this from the library when my daughter was 5: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
…but I chickened out when we got to the actual sex page and skipped it. Earlier this year (she’s now 7), she asked “so how do the sperm get through the air to the mommy’s egg?” Without a better explanation, she had made this up herself, so we had to explain the nitty gritty. She said I am never getting grandkids.
This book has been fabulous for our curious 4 year old! Accurate without being graphic. Great pictures. Tells exactly what all the anatomical parts are and what they do for us. Mentions sex but not in a graphic way and I feel it’s very age appropriate. Well received and understood by my kiddo!
It's Not the Stork!: A Book About... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
This is a great book to read to your kids and they have other books as they get older.
It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends
Age appropriate sex education should start from a very young age (eg with being able to name body parts, modelling when you don’t consent to something, etc).
We found this book helpful for our almost 5yo:
It's Not the Stork! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313
I personally found his interest the same as his interest in how trucks work. Very factual and curious.
We read this book together and I expected a lot of questions. He just listened then ran off and got a Clifford book.
He’s retained some it based on other things he’s said (“my teacher Melinda has a vagina” … good learning opportunity that we don’t talk about other peoples bodies!), but mostly it scratched his curiosity itch and I think we’ve proven he can ask us questions.
It’s still not easy. It’s an awkward conversation topic. I’m hoping when his kids ask, our openness will make it easier for him.
As a physician that takes care of kids in the emergency department, I need to tell you that it is vital that kids have an age appropriate continuous curriculum that slowly turns into eggs at i think you're thinking of as sex ed. It needs to give them real names for their body parts. This is evidence based to reduce child abuse, to improve reporting and decrease abuse passed between children (victims can act out in sexually inappropriateways against other kids) .
They need a solid understanding of consent and what parts other people shouldn't be touching, and some broad brush ideas of what adult relationships are that they aren't ready for yet and nobody should be trying with them. 4 year old boys can know that erections happen and then they go away, it's not broken or weird, but not a topic for public.
It's terribly embarrassing for adults but did you know that toddler masturbation is actually found in about a third of normal toddlers? Not a sign of abuse. There's a flood of sex differentiating hormones in the toddler years that will lead to erections and sometimes masturbation. They can be taught to keep it to private time and most will grow out of it around age 4 until puberty kicks back in.
Did you know that many girls in the USA are starting puberty at age 9? That getting her first period at age 9 is considered in the normal range, which would mean breasts and body hair around age 7?
I was in 3rd grade when my friend came crying to me because she was getting body hair and thought she was turning into a werewolf. There's no need for that.
This book series is one that does a nice job of providing age-appropriate versions for younger vs older kids. Here's their youngest one - flip through it. It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_01MF34S1AW517FQDGPDF
Both my wife and I have reviewed the content in the body book series. https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
Our kids are boys and girls 9,7,7 and we are up to book 3 in the series. Our girls are more curious than our son but the responsibility belongs to both parents. Not just dad to son and mom to daughter. It’s not a single conversation but series of parenting moments. Starts with balancing body shame vs privacy and social mores, throw in some don’t let a stranger or teacher or anyone but mom dad doctor or strictly preauthorized person see you naked. Then a good dose of no means no for all of them even if it is tickling. We are just at the start of the crush phase for our 4th grader. Getting past “insert flap A into slot B” has made life easier but we have a long way to go.
IMO this book's choice of language is a bit unnecessarily colorful, bordering on inappropriate depending on your tolerance. It reads like a fiction piece at times, just odd for this topic and age group. Some examples:
"the penis gets bigger because it has a lot of work to do"
"starts slowly then gets faster and faster as the tickly feeling gets stronger and stronger"
"it's like scratching an itch, but much nicer"
Don't think my 10yo needs to understand that quite yet...this conversation should lean towards objective and anatomical. It's NOT the Stork balances that a lot better.
But hey, that's just me.
I recommend this series of books, the first one is for about age 4
Check this out on Amazon It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_71F9JEE0AYGEXP74TEFR
Use the proper body part names.
Get over your embarrassment ASAP. Because that will teach your child embarrassment and shame.
My eldest was 3.5 when I got pregnant with my second. It spurred tons of questions and I was very honest in an age appropriate way. She understands the basics of reproduction now; it seems strange to say but sex is so totally nonsexual when explained simplistically, just the mechanics of baby-making, none of the taboos that we as adults layer onto it. The conversations felt no different than explaining how we make cookies or how to play hockey or whatever other mundane things we talk to our kids about.
To repeat what’s been said a million times on this thread already — it’s an ongoing dialogue that will evolve in complexity with time and maturity. Right now it’s just a very pared down explanation of the mechanics, eventually that will involve a whole host of other aspects — puberty, masturbation, healthy relationships and consent, STIs, protection etc etc etc. What I hope I’ve started is the foundation of future significant conversations, as well as the promise that my daughter can come to me with potentially embarrassing questions and expect zero judgement.
For what it’s worth, I found It’s Not The Stork really helpful for getting the ball rolling. It’s a book aimed at 4-8 year olds, but could be used with slightly older kids too I think. Thorough and not remotely patronizing, but still accessible and kid friendly.
We’ve got this one: It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_F99989PW9QZ2HGCFX95M?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
It’s a little young, but still would probably be beneficial. There’s also one that’s for older kids, but we don’t own it (yet. I’m ordering it today lol.). Beyond that, I’d answer as factually as you can. “How do you get pregnant?” “You have sex without precautions like a condom or being on birth control”. But be prepared to discuss what sex is because you know that will come next. I know lots of people start getting uncomfortable with these convos, so starting it when you’re in the car or cooking (so you can focus on something else as well) can help.
My answer at that age was 'a little bit of mommy and a little bit of daddy mixed together and made you.' When they asked for specifics, I checked to see what they were really curious about. They wanted to know what "a little bit" meant. We talked about DNA and eggs and sperm.
I also really love this book. Matter of fact, straight forward, enough facts to explain without giving too much detail for that age. https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
When my oldest was 6 or 7 I got her It's not the stork! and told her if she had any questions to ask me.
She did have some questions and we discussed them as she asked them. No hassle.
LOL, too funny. On that not this is a pretty excellent book when it comes time for that discussion
You've already got some good advice here, but might I suggest using a book as a jumping-off point? Here's one that might be a bit below her level, but you can read it with her and encourage her to ask questions if she doesn't understand something.
Normally "the talk" is something that happens a bit at a time as the kid grows up. At seven, she doesn't need all the details, just information on biology so forth. In a year or two will be a good time to explain puberty, and once she gets into her teenage years she should know about how to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Just go with what is age appropriate.
Oh my god, so much awkward. Just read this book with the kids. It doesn't have to be presented as anything taboo. We read this right when our guy turned five, and it seemed like a good age.
My philosophy with my kids (a boy and a girl now in their early teens), was to talk about sexuality early and often. Most kids go through a phase around 4-6 where they start to be really curious where babies come from, but aren’t old enough to have internalized all of the cultural shame about sexuality, so I took full advantage of those years when they started asking questions. We bought an amazing book that was age appropriate with lots of great colorful pictures and read it through with them a little each night before bed. We always took time to have conversations afterwards too, about what we were reading, and I think that helped them get used to talking to us about these topics. The kids at that age were totally not weirded out at all by what was in the book. I was! Haha, there were a couple pages I really had to psych myself up to get through, but they just rolled with it.
As they went through elementary school we exposed them to YouTube videos about trans kids and because we are a church going family I read the first half of Torn aloud to them.
Now we often have conversations about sexual related topics or periods or whatever over the dinner table. The kids now sometimes recommend YouTube videos for us to watch during our family time before bed each night. Last week our son picked an amazing one about a girl who had been sexually exploited online by a man who called himself her boyfriend starting when she was 13.
I’m also starting to notice that our kids are often the ones that other kids are talking to about their questions, and that makes me feel really good.
Anyway, all that to say that I feel like our experiment with talking to the kids about this stuff so young has paid off for us. I still do catch them being embarrassed about stuff every once in awhile (Yesterday found out our daughter had been freaking out about discharge for months and never said a word), but for the most part I think we are doing better at communicating about this stuff than our parents did with us, and so at least that’s a step in the right direction.
I’ll also mention that this book helped me a ton when I was starting down this journey. It has so many real life examples of conversations parents have had with kids and experiences kids/teens have had that it really helped me normalize these conversations in my mind and imagine how I could have them with my own kids.
There are age appropriate ways for kids to learn this stuff. The first thing I always do when I'm caught off guard is to ask, "How do you think you were made?" I just turn it around to see where they are at...and why they might be asking. (Obviously this is a comedy thing played for the laugh, but you wouldn't believe how similar some other stories of 'my kid asked' are to this exact thing.)
A book like this: It's Not the Stork! would also help with future explanations.
One thing I see mentioned by sex educators is that there shouldn't be any singular The Talk. Rather, there should be a continual dialog that evolves as your kids mature and have new questions. There are age-appropriate resources for this if you look around... eg, the "It's Not the Stork" series has three books aimed at 4+, 8+, and 10+. The first one of this addressed a lot of questions my daughter had when she was in the 5-6 range when she started looking for actual answers about reproduction (having graduated from "Who Has What" for understanding the names / basics when she was younger).
Adding to this, I highly recommend It's Not the Stork and It's So Amazing, aimed at kids ages 4+ and 7+ respectively. They don't show images of birth specifically, but they do provide a lot of great age-appropriate information. I'm also eager for the very inclusive new book Making a Baby to be released next month (it's already out in the UK), which may have more detailed info about birth as well.
We had the talk with our oldest (M) at 7. Also used this book: It's Not the Stork
Recommend this book:
It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/
> "It Wasn't The Stork" targeted at 4 year old
I did look it up, it has stellar reviews from and is recommended by tons of prestegious institutions:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
>"It's Perfectly Normal" targeted at 8
Same here:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/1536207217
I bought my almost-five-year-old this book to explain how her baby sister came to be. I really like how matter of fact its explanations are.
Lurking mom here. I hope it's okay that I comment. My boys started asking questions at a young age. My husband and I believe that honesty is the best policy (age appropriate of course) and no question is off limits. In my opinion, the earlier the conversations start the better. We used the books below to assist.
It's Not the Stork!: A Book About... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
It's So Amazing!: A Book about... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668745?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
You can maybe start with sitting them down in a quiet, safe space and say that they are at an age where they probably have questions about boys, girls, and sex and that you are there to answer ANY questions they may have.
Hopefully this helps a little.
It's rated ages 4+, but "It's Not the Stork" is a good book. It discussed body parts, where babies come from, and what are okay touches and not okay touches: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_dl_WNV760TESTSJTJ75BYCY
If the child found it on their own in a library then I’d have no problem with it. If a child came to a teacher and said they had questions, concerns, didn’t understand xyz, etc… after a certain age and the teacher referred them to this book I would be ok with it. Neither of those things would be considered grooming, in my opinion.
The main character in this book is largely asexual and body dysphoric. There is a scene where oral sex is shown, with a dildo, and it was unpleasant and stopped.
If an adult showed or recommended a book that made sex look negative and scared kids away from it, made them feel ashamed about their bodies, asking questions about growing up, and so on, would you support that?
As someone who was groomed but never assaulted by a person who went on to be accused of raping at least two others, trial pending, I appreciate you looking out for children. My daughter was taught at a young age what sex was, proper words, and we have created an environment where she can ask questions and have access to age appropriate material like “It’s not the stork,” “It’s so amazing,” “Its perfectly normal,” and “Celebrate your body](https://www.amazon.com/dp/164152166X/).” They are approachable for kids because, use cartoons, are body and sex positive while teaching boundaries. Would you consider these to be grooming materials if they were in a school library?
It’s NOT the Stork does a really good job without being unnecessarily colorful in their descriptions.
This book is my personal favorite for early sex ed. My oldest was 7 when we went through it with him, using it now with 6yo.
I think it's natural for them to be curious. I feel that it's critical that I be the one guiding/directing that curiosity in healthy and appropriate ways and with accurate information and terminology.
I bought two books for my daughter (almost 6y):
We read the first book over a few nights for bedtime story. The book goes through body parts of boys and girls, who has what, how boys and girls are the same and different, how babies are conceived, gestated and are born. Yes, there were one or two pages that I couldn't handle right now, but I will have to in a year or two.
I told her that if she ever has any questions, the COME ASK ME, not her friends or anyone else or anything else. I'm always going to try to help her and make sure she's as healthy and happy. Her teacher or school nurse might be a good person to talk to, but since it's the summer, we won't know who her teacher will be. I'll also be reiterating through the years that our doctor is probably the best person to go to if there's anything that she - for whatever reason - doesn't want to talk to me about. But I'm hoping to build a good solid relationship with her that she will want to talk to me.
My hope is that by giving her this information, she'd be like "yeah, I know exactly what's in everybody's pants, let's go play something else."
She hasn’t discovered boys yet, or girls if that’s her preference. We’ve caught her doing some little things by herself but nothing outrageous or concerning. We don’t shame her for exploring her body but tell her that it’s better she does anything like that in privacy.
She has no siblings and only one neighbor kid she plays with who is younger. With this lockdown situation I’m more concerned about her walking in and seeing me watching something or my wife and I in the act. We have a pretty open household in terms of nudity, especially in the heat we’ve been having, and encourage her to ask questions or raise concerns if she has them.
We gave her It's Not the Stork and It's So Amazing! when they were age appropriate and will get the next in the series as well.
I’m not opposed to her finding herself and exploring her body but 4th and 5th grade are too early for sex, IMO. With that said, though, our friend’s daughter started her period at 9 1/2-10 or so so I guess their bodies will be telling them other things and it will be a challenge to make them wait until they are older if they are starting this early.
This is something I think kids should begin to learn at home. My 7 year old has read this with us several years ago
It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_tTkmFb838AWMK
And now we're reading this together :
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668745/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_.UkmFbG8MSWA4
I just bought two books when this topic came up a day or two ago. I like using books with awkward/difficult subjects.
It's NOT the Stork by Robie Harris. My daughter is 5 so we're probably going to go through it in small chunks, but it's a very truthful, honest approach to that question. I was going to get the Meg Hickling book, but this one was published more recently.
It's Not the Stork, is also good and has a series of 3 books for different age levels.
It's call "It's Not the Stork!" And covers pretty much anything and everything birds and bees related: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313
A great "birds and bees" book for this age is It's Not the Stork. You might also consider a book that focuses even more specifically on the sperm/egg story, like What Makes a Baby?.
edited to add: There's also The Baby Tree, which might be a bit young for him but it's more of a fun, silly way to introduce the topic (while still in the end factually explaining how a baby is made, "an egg from the mother and a seed from the father"). You could add that the "seed" can come from any man, not just the person you know as Dad.
Earlier today there was a similar thread posted here (I think it was titled The Talk) and a mom recommended this book. It looks excellent!
It's Not the Stork is a great introduction to the topic of reproduction. Boy's Body Book looks good, but I haven't read through it yet.
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