What is Reddit's opinion of It's Not You, It's What Happened to You: Complex Trauma and Treatment?

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As conditioned to having to be perfect -- and "perfectly moral" -- as many (most? pretty much all?) of us were, we experience shame for what happened to us even though we had no choice in the matter. This is *some*times the case because a parent conditioned, in-doctrine-ated, instructed, socialized, habituated, and normalized a child to belief it is responsible for that parent's feelings and emotional reactions.

Frankly, some -- especially highly religious -- cultures are so typically identity-diffused, boundary-breeching, enmeshed and codependent that this normalization is all but invisible. And the experience of shame about what happened by the child IN the adult is just taken for granted.

Can that be treated or uprooted? Actually, yes. See the material and methods at the link below even though the context there is religious trauma. Because the interpersonal dynamic, the emotion and the method of treatment are the same.

SIQR, the 10 StEPs & Recovery from Religious Trauma Syndrome: The How-To Guide

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with a trauma-trained therapist may be all you can find where you live, but even if it is not as well-targeted as the experiential therapies like the 10 StEPs + SP4T, it will pretty likely help lift you out of the well here.

And -- if you can -- get a copy of this book and read it.

The Alice Miller Library

Christine Courtois's one great mass market book (she wrote several for professionals)

Or you can browse A CPTSD Library

BUT, I have to warn you about C2H. It was not written by professionals, makes a lot of assumptions that are plain wrong, and suggests revenge. MH pros bought into C2H 30 years ago, and pretty much bought out 10 to 15 years later.

Walker's book is definitely worth the effort if one has the time to plow through it all while trying to understand all the (many) concepts. I think >>> this book <<< is much easier to grasp as a "portal," however.

You can also look through A CPTSD Library.