It should be noted there's a third book in this series for older kids.
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536207217/
I haven't read these, but I'll check them out. I linked a different set of books by another author in my other comment.
Your mother’s attitude is why he was so ignorant. If you can, please take over (probably stealthily) his sex Ed. At least, get him the right books, and point him to the right websites and try to help him learn how to avoid misinformation.
I recommend the book “It’s Perfectly Normal”. It’s not expensive and very, very good. Maybe buy it for yourself, keep it in your room, and tell your brother he can check it out, or something. Whatever works in your house.
I hate telling you to go behind your mother’s back, but the world is better when kids get taught properly.
Build a small shelf in the household that your children have open access to. A few books for variety, but ones that normalize nudity and have good information about the body and sex.
For a 10 year old I'd recommend giving him this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/1536207217/
I'm 31, grew up in Maine, and in 4th and 5th grade we started sex ed. We had an anonymous question box, and plenty of kids - joking or otherwise - submitted questions like 'what is masturbation' and 'what's anal sex' etc. And our teacher calmly and non-judgmentally went through every question.
And this was before kids had the internet in their pocket.
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health
Here's the table of contents from Amazon - these are exactly the kinds of questions kids wonder and worry about.
> Robert Wilkinson, who lives in Bridgton, said he read both books. He is a former teacher and member of the RSU 57 School Board in Waterboro. He urged the board to remove both books from school libraries. > > “I believe they are books of temptation when viewed by children,” Wilkinson said. “Once innocence is lost, it is lost forever.”
Here are the most-controversial illustrations. I promise you, Robert, middle schoolers have seen worse.
And you know what? Fuck this guy. I started my period in 4th grade. In America today, there are states where I'd be forced to carry a pregnancy to term as a 4th grader. I think these people should have bigger concerns than a critically-acclaimed book aimed at 5th and 6th graders.
>For starters, what is pornography versus not pornography? I suspect that you'd agree that not all images of nudity fall under the category of pornography. Am I correct in that?
Yes.
>An image of a tribal woman with her breasts out is not really pornography even if it might make some people uncomfortable depending on the nature of their cultural norms for instance.
Yes.
>I would even go so far as to say that not all images of sexuality are pornographic, but more on that in a second.
I will reserve Judgement until the second passes.
>Would you also agree that there's some degree of gray area between what is and isn't pornography as well?
I will reserve Judgement until the second passes.
>Let me throw this out as a working definition...pornography is material produced with the intended purpose of arousal. How does that sit with you so far?
If that is the definition you are going with I am happy to replace every instance of "pornography" with "sexually explicit material".
>So at least under this definition, materials meant to educate, rather than arouse may not fall under the same category.
Sexually explicit material vice pornography.
>You can say of an image that this makes you uncomfortable or that you think it's inappropriate for particular ages, but the intent of the image matters in terms of whether or not it's pornographic.
>No here's where it gets twisted. When we're talking about Public school, there's two approaches. There's the lowest common denominator approach where what can be taught is limited to the range of what all parents will not object to. Then there's the approach of broadest representation of experience in which the possible range and breadth of experiences of students and parents is what's taught (within certain bounds). Obviously in this case, and in most cases, we're dealing with the latter.
Statistics indicate that between 5% and 20% (depending on the study) of sixth graders have engaged in sexual activity.
This is not about broadest representation of experience.
>And while I think it is reasonable to question these things on the grounds of age appropriateness, I think it is worth asking how reasonable it is to approach public school with the lowest common denominator approach I just mentioned.
This reasoning fails because this is not about broadest representation of experience.
>Can you even really get to a place these days where no one would object to some aspect of the material being taught?
This is an argument to moderation fallacy.
>Should evolution not be taught because some people believe in creationism for instance?
This is a false analogy fallacy.
>Should we not teach about space because some people believe in a heliocentric model to the universe?
This is a false analogy fallacy.
>And I get it...sex is more personal and tied more closely with the beliefs of a family than is scientific concepts. But these questions have to be asked in terms of what can and can't be taught. This brings us to another point...what do you do when people can't agree on what should be taught?
You don't show children sexually explicit material.
>On the one hand there's the street fight approach where whoever seizes power enforces their vision, everyone else be damned. I think this is where we're at right now. This is extremely unlikely to be stable and you're going to have education systems with wild fluctuations. The other approach is for those who don't believe that their kids should be exposed to the breadth of other people's sexual experience to withdraw from public school and either go to a private school or home-school if need be.
This isn't about being "exposed to the breadth of other people's sexual experience".
This is about exposing children to sexual explicit material.
>I get it here too. These things are expensive and time-consuming. But I'm not sure that it's reasonable to expect the general population to conform to what everyone can agree on and nothing more. I think it's also worth considering that even if you personally believe it's the parent's job, not every kid has parents like that....not by a long shot.
That does not make it the states responsibility.
>And those kids don't deserve to remain ignorant about issues related to sex and sexuality just because they were born to particular families.
I have no issue with Sexual Risk Avoidance programming.
Comprehensive Sexual Education programming exposes children to sexually explicit content.
Do you have a friend, or a cousin or an aunt with a child between the ages of 9-12?
I want you to consider ordering the book and taking it to their parents and asking them to review it page by page with them.
Along with the book be sure to bring sex toys, vegetables (ie. cucumber) and condoms for the masturbation and contraception demonstration portion of the lesson.
If you have any personal stories about anal sex or sex with multiple partners be sure to prepare them aswell.
Don't forget the large color photographs of male and female genitals at various stages of arousal.
The book can be found here:
The book includes sexually explicit images and text illustrating sexual intercourse; vaginal, anal, and oral.
AND
Further resources to ensure that your friend believes you that this material is directed at children age 9-12:
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536207217/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_53BHPA8XHC812AFSQ9NC
Says 9-11 year olds here
Super real
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536207217/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_53BHPA8XHC812AFSQ9NC
I recommend:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/1536207217
I teach sex ed to 5th graders and it is the book I recommend all the parents buy for their kiddos.