I got (rightly) downvoted for suggesting Olbas Oil elsewhere, so as a possible alternative: have you considered hypnosis? Obviously care is required with this one (especially where history of panic attacks is concerned) but my OH and I had good results a few years back with this as a starter: Look Into My Eyes
If you've been into this for a while, you may already know about the book, Look Into My Eyes. I got it a few months ago based on another Redditor's recommendation. It's mostly geared towards using hypnosis to spice up an already healthy relationship.
Erotic Hypnosis is practiced by many. There are good books on the subject - Peter Masters Look into my Eyes is used by some. There are many local groups that practice this you might wish to try the Hypnotic Domination group on Fetlife (Free Membership Required) as it has over 3000 members interested in Erotic Hypnosis.
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I'd start here. It's a great beginner guide to hypnosis, tailored specifically towards the bedroom.
Fair warning, I've never read/used it