This product was mentioned in
with an average of
Honestly unless you're
Using wet wipes
Using a bidet
No amount of scrubbing at your asshole with dry paper is going to get it super clean.
After an hour or so of just moving around/body heat/sweat/etc, anyone who goes down on you WILL get some butt B.O.
People really should plunk down the $35 for a bidet and stop shitting like barbarians.
If you spill salsa on shag carpeting, do you scrub at it with paper towels or do you get some kind of water in the mix?
For real though, bidets are the truth and seriously neither expensive nor hard to install.
I’m sitting on mine right now after taking a heavenly coffee poop and am reveling in my clean butthole.
If you want to live like a caveman smearing your feces further with an elevated soft paper towel, be my guest though.
Edit: Best wishes, Q. May you grab your nuts at many refs in your next chapter.
Edit 2: here’s a model similar to the one I have:
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
I may your buttholes ever be clean!
Best purchase ever.
Don't forget the energy costs of manufacture and transportation. It takes 17.3 terawatts of energy to manufacture and transport toilet paper per year. That's a huge carbon footprint.
If you're concerned about the ecological impact of TP, I highly recommend a bidet attachment for your toilet like this:
You will use significantly less toilet paper, maybe even eschewing it entirely.
It's like being kissed by an angel after eating cool mint 5gum
Yes. One of the attachment ones, not a separate unit.
I have one on each of the toilets in my home. They're only $35 people!
Don't use those things regularly, they dry out the skin and make things worse in the long run. Also don't flush them despite the labeling, they don't break up that easily and can clog your plumbing. Speaking from personal experience on both points :|
Instead buy a cheap bidet attachment for your toilet. I have this one and it took about 15 minutes to install.
Get yourself a bidet. Solves the I've-used-so-much-paper-I'm-bleeding thing.
Do it up real nice for some quality poop time. Get a ~~$40~~ washlet/bidet kit from Amazon, a squatty potty, poo~pourri...hell, spring for some ambient string lights and a little zen water fountain.
Happy Black Friday, the Luxe Bidet is $25 today.
The answer to all of his (and your) problems:
I got one a few months ago. It's amazing. I kept reading about how in most Eastern countries, all toilets come with a bidet. As an American, I'm like wtf am I doing using wet wipes when I can actually get clean?
So I bought it. Super affordable, easy install. No regrets.
You will have to talk to your husband about his habits though. I can't believe you've been dealing with that for years! He probably doesn't understand how nasty that is. It might be hard to bring up, but it's in both of your best interests. It just isn't sanitary to have shitty pants all the time. Good luck!
I’ve been using this one for a while. I love it. Super cheap, and works well too. It will take a few days to get used to the cold water, but if that bothers you, they make ones that use warm water too. Also, if you have high water pressure in your house like I do, turn it on very slowly.
They are super nice. I just bought a cheep one a year ago and i'm SOOOO glad I did.
But yes, you want TP after you bidet, but just like 2 squares to dry.... But if you dont have any tp, it's just slightly annoying to have a completely clean but slightly damp tush. Annoying vs unlivable.
If you're curious This is the one I suggest. It's $35. I did a lot of research and this one is well reviewed for the price. Installation is about 10 min, you have to unscrew the hose for the toilet, screw it back on, then take of the toilet seat, and put it back on. $35 is throw away money for most people. And you'll save loads on TP so it'll pay for it's self easy. And of course if you ever get the burning shits, you'll be blessing my name.
Seriously, just do it.
I have four of these in my house. No plumbing experience necessary and they hook into the existing toilet supply without getting additional hookups for hot water or electric.
I love these and so do most guests that try them out.
GET A BIDET ATTACHMENT!! I'm putting this in all caps because it changed my life. Pooping used to also be really tiring for me. I think we discount how much effort goes into wiping especially if you have to do it a lot. A bidet solves this. It sprays most of the poop off and you just wipe a few times to dry off. Way easier. The bidet and also making sure you take breaks between the different steps of pooping made pooping much easier for me.
Here's a $35 dollar bidet attachment on Amazon that works great:
nice ad, but if you want a nice bidet, you don't need to spend $69 on one. i've used this one for years and it's absolutely perfect.
Have you considered getting a bidet? They’re pretty affordable and a lot cleaner than using TP or wipes. I used to spend a lot of time wiping, but now I just use one of these for a few minutes.
As someone who recently got a toilet bowl attachment bidet from amazon I'll go into detail. This might be slightly graphic for some of you.
I bought something like this a year ago. It sat around in my shed and I finally decided to install it during the Great TP Shortage Of 2020.
What I've learned;
(Here's where it gets uncomfortable)
I've got some problems down there. (Anal Fissure for 5+ years)
This went away almost immediately, I had lingering issues for a month or so, but after that. Gone.
If you want to be clean, you have to aim for the leather cheerio. This is... disturbing at first. If you've never had a tightly streamed and aimed jet of water aimed at your balloon knot, well, you're in for an experience!
Once you've acclimated yourself to this sensation, you've discover that the self enema is even more cleansing.
I know it sounds crazy, but once you discover how... dirty.. your ass has been for your entire life, you really won't be able to go back. And don't be mistaken. If you wipe with TP, your ass is dirty.
If you step in dog-crap bare-foot, do you go inside and pull some paper-towels down and wipe your foot off? No, you get the hose and blast that thing! Why is your butt any different?
So, in conclusion. You target the Smelly Freckle and give yourself a Self Enema and wipe the left over water off your Cinnamon Ring. You'll consider how you were such a dirty hobo before!
Edit: Try to stick to the lower/mid range settings. Only the truly adventurous turn it to high.
$35 an Amazon for a Luxe Bidet Neo 120. I bought three of these (actually two of the 180s, and one 185), one for each bathroom and couldn't be happier. The higher models offer dual sprayers (one sprays further forward), and different controls. Taps into the clean water line going to the tank so it is super easy to install. I recommend 1000%.
I have this model and can only crank it about 2 degrees before it's too powerful. I feel like I'd blast a hole in my intestines if I turn it more.
Honestly I got it to try it and it's a whole new world.
We installed this bidet from amazon in every bathroom. It’s under $40 US and easy to install. I’m thinking of upgrading to a Toto washlet in our master bath. Visited Japan and the warm seat and water is nice.
bidets are $35 on amazon, and they attach directly onto your toilet in a roughtly 5-minute installation. No idea what you mean when you're saying "there's no space really". If there's space for your ass-cheeks, there's space for a bidet.
Every time someone brings up bidets on reddit, I always see some sort of disclaimer that could turn people off or confuse people about them (e.g. the water is too cold, they're too expensive, etc.)
The fact of the matter is that they're $35 on Amazon (here's the one I have), incredibly easy to install, shoot out room-temperature water, save you long-term on TP costs, etc. I have no idea why every house doesn't have one these days.
If this is something you're really concerned about, you could invest in a very affordable bidet seat for your toilet
This will spray and help clean your ass a lot more than using TP. These are very common in Asia and formal bidets are found throughout Europe. Feels good, cleans good!
I've had two of these (left one behind when I moved out of a place, and used a third of the same model at a friend's house, and they are 100% worth it.
Yo I'm gonna be honest with you... I went to the local pub last night and ate a mountain of Nachos while watching the NCAA Finals. I'm mildly lactose intolerant. I've taken three painful dumps so far today and my butthole has taken quite the beating. Nonetheless, I still highly recommend everyone buy a bidet. The Europeans know what's up. Here's the one I bought off Amazon over 5 years ago. Still as good as new. Only $35 bucks with free Prime 1 day shipping. At those prices you can't afford NOT to buy one. If they had these installed at my work's bathroom, I wouldn't be in this mess. At the very least, they could install the three seashells. It's 2017. Stop wiping with paper, you savages.
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment
It's cheap, easy to install and works. I've had mine for little over a year. No reason not to try it for $35
Or just buy a bidet. No more need to pollute the environment by cutting down trees to wipe your ass and it may be semi-expensive at first ($35 for one off Amazon: [link] ) but in the long run, you will save money.
Boi, they cost like $30 on Amazon. I have this one and fr, I'm never going back to just toilet paper ever again
Entry level bidet. When I bought it a few years ago, it was $35 Canadian. Now, it is $60+ in Canada thanks to toilet paper and bidet hoarding in March 2020. Still working for me after 4-5 years. No plumbing experience or tools required. Installed in under 15 minutes.
Stop scrapping your ass with a leaf/paper like a caveman and use a bidet. Not a concern for me, but some are worried about dripping residual water. Guess what? It is better to wipe that off, rather than feces.
Here is the Amazon US link (priced below $50):
This is the one I've been using for 4 years or so. Installation only took about 5 minutes; if I recall it even came with a little plastic wrench, so I didn't need to even bust out the tool box.
I don't like pooping anywhere but home now. Scraping my butthole with dry toilet paper seems so primitive and unhygienic now compared to actually washing it.
And it pays for itself very quickly. Since you only need a square or two of TP to dab dry with, a decent sized roll of TP can last a month or longer. I bought an 8 pack of TP sometime this summer (July/August or so) and haven't needed to re-up.
I feel for you, people are being stupid and selfish when they buy more than they need. My husband decided to get something like this because of the first round of craziness. He absolutely LOVES it and it’s not too expensive either. Bidet
For the pain on the back end - have you tried a bidet?
Fitted out my bathroom with one of these during the great TP shortage of ‘20 and I’ll never own a toilet without one again.
I still dry with toilet paper but it's your preference.
Mine doesn't have the option for heated water (it just attaches to the water line for the toilet) but I honestly don't notice.
I'm sure if I had one with hot water then went back I'd notice but only ever using cold water is fine with me so if you can't afford the hot water one don't let it dissuade you from trying the cold water one.
The one I have is very similar to this
I installed it in about 20 minutes with no prior plumbing experience.
Honestly I really wanted a Tushy but I found this simple one from Amazon for less than $50. I, a mechanically inept person, installed it in literally 8 mins (timed myself) and never looked back. (Ba dum tssst)
Bidets that work with existing seats should fit any toilet no matter the shittiness (heh). Like this one for $35.
A bidet that includes the seat would be designed to fit a certain bowl size, either round or elongated, and they're usually adjustable to fit slight variances. Your toilet might suck, but they're fairly standardized.
Source - am bidet enthusiast. I fucking love my bidet.
Jeez you guys are lazy. Just go to Amazon and type "bidet" ha.
Having said that, this is the one that I bought. It works perfectly and is one of the best purchases I've ever made.
i got a bidet attachment from amazon about a year ago, and it has been the best $30 i've spent. this one is super easy to install and very affordable:
Something like this works and is easy to install.
Don't worry about only using cold water, it really isn't a bit deal.
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
Best $35 ive spent on Amazon. Pro tip, upgrade to the metal t valve.
Hell yeah! It's so much better.
No drilling required. Just remove the existing toilet seat, add this, and reinstall the seat. The water line Ts into the toilet water line. I was staying at a friend's place for a few days and shipped one ahead of time. Even very drunk it took 10 minutes to install. I can't live without them. Lol.
Interesting, I always thought these nozzles would be less enjoyable since you'd actually have to reach back there and potentially get some splash back on your hands. No idea if this is true or not, I've just got one of these, and I just turn a nozzle and am good to go.
I have a $35 bidet attachment I heard about on Reddit. Installed in 10 minutes, super easy. I find it necessary to guard my front goodies with a wad of TP so the water doesn't splash fecal matter toward them. Then just pay dry. I love being really clean all day.
Not the person you asked, but I bought this one and love it. About $40 with shipping and stuffs. LUXE Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
I bought one for my girlfriend after only dating her for 3 weeks. As a joke. She is super environmentally conscious so she uses bamboo TP. it’s not my plush triple ply I have at home.
Life changing. I blast my booty do a little wiggle and I use her scratch paper to clean up.
I have my own installed and just ran a hot water line to it today. Shit is absolutely life changing.
$35 on Amazon. Do it. I guarantee you’ll love it.
LUXE Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
I got lit up in here the other day for this, but a comment below about choosing between $5000 or clean poops for life has me triggered again.
People in FT love to talk about shitting their pants and poop in general, yet people act like I'm a fucking nut for telling everyone it's 2018 (almost 2019) and it's time to advance as a society and start using bidets regularly. There is zero excuse as to why we in America have not widely adopted this technology in our bathrooms. It's cleaner, cheaper, quicker and more environmentally friendly than just wiping with dry paper until you think you're clean.
Imagine if you get shit on your arm. Do you just wipe it off with a piece of paper and decide you're clean? No, you use water (and probably soap, too) to clean yourself. So why don't we take the same logic and apply it to our asses?
This isn't even a "rich" or "poor" thing. The bidets I use at home cost me $35 on Amazon and took me 10 minutes to install.
This is 1000% the hill I'm willing to die on. Stop smearing shit into your skin and start cleaning your asses with water. You'll never feel better.
Edit: My wife is demanding I give her credit for introducing me to bidets, since she grew up in Japan. Credit to wife.
If you spend $7 more, you can buy one similar to OPs. I have one like this, and it works great. [link]
Unless you're really into the ass fountain on a keychain thing, in which case... Do your thing.
Mine is something like this, and it was hella easy to install.
It made my seat a little jank though, but honestly, the trade-off is worth it.
It literally just replaces the line that plugs in to your toilet, and comes with literally a 3 step manual (one piece of paper) on how to set up.
That part really depends on what your landlord is or isn't cool with. Last place I lived in I installed a Luxe neo 120 but your mileage may vary. If you can't get anything installed on your rental's toilet, there are also travel bidets you can use instead.
I skated for transportation as a kid, but I didn't go to the skatepark until I was 45. I learned to drop in on my first day, and I was blown away that I had waited so long to start. On the very next day I dislocated my shoulder dropping in, and I couldn't use my arm at all for 6 months. I lost a lot of weight from the injury, and I couldn't throw anything for 9 months. I started skating again at 47, slowly, and from the bottom of the bowl. Now I would say I'm fully ate up with it, skating (and dropping in) every chance I get, going a little harder every time, and learning new skills. I'm very careful, with steady, slow progression. I actively practice falling and going to my knees.
I recommend a bidet. This one is easy to install and works really well. A life saver with a damaged dominant arm.
Amazon Luxe 120
We've only been able to convert one person in our immediate circle of friends. And the guy's wife won't even use it. My mother screamed when she tried it at my house, which was at least entertaining... ;)
This is the one we have. Luxe Bidet Attachment on Amazon
My Shiny Hiney commercial... It saddens me that Bidets still aren't a thing in the U.S.
Seriously - go buy and install one. It will cost you $35 on Amazon. Your butt will thank you. You also will not use nearly as much toilet paper. The one I linked is the one I have in my apartment. It took 10 minutes to install. You'll recoup that $35 in savings on toilet paper.
My boyfriend got us this one from amazon a couple of years ago, and we love it! You just screw it in under the toilet seat and hook it to the water supply. It does get a bit cold in the winter since we didn’t spring for the hot water option, but it’s not terrible. I think it makes a huge difference in terms of hygiene/comfort, especially during a flare or colonoscopy prep. Definitely recommend!
Bro!! You MUST add this!
Bidet, You'll never go back.
Sorry to be a pest... linked the one I got, maybe there is something similar in the UK. Literally zero wires, no electrical connection. Works on water
pressure. It honestly takes 10min to install. Do yourself a favour! Please, you’ll thank me later.
The link wouldn’t insert the url.
Like legit bruv,
This is a basic bidet attachment. It can clean itself and blow a stream of water up your butt. It's not the fancy ones that can clean and dry your ass but yeah. I can attest to both the quality and ease of installation.
TBH I installed one of these a few days ago after stocking up on 102 rolls of TP. Best purchase ever silly as it may seem. Never been so clean:) Maybe if it gets bad I can put the TP on Ebay.
So, you have to be sitting (which you already should have been as you were just shitting). Mine is this model.
Yes, you do have to kind of move a little bit to get the "full clean". No, shit doesn't really fly anywhere, as your asscrack catches everything and it drips off.
I think it does an amazing job. You basically wipe after spray to remove the water, and the TP comes away wet but clean. No shit stains or anything. You will also feel fresher.
In the winter, it can be a smidge cold (depending on where you live), but my ass apparently doesn't care as much. In the summer, after sweating a lot, its basically a cool shower for your ass, so a bit of heaven.
Amazon has many bidet attachments for the toilet for less than $50. I have this one and it is AMAZING. I learned about this magical thing from Reddit and it was life changing.
Here's the amazon page for the one I bought
4.5 stars on average out of over 5,000 reviews. If you go all of the one star and two star reviews, nobody is complaining about the water temperature. I find your statement
"Most would like warm water and that requires an outlet which most don't have right next to their toilet."
to be inaccurate. It's a non-issue.
haha cool! i love japan. dude i have 3 bidet attachments from amazon and they were only 40 bucks each.
Exactly what they other poster said. They are both excellent bidets and widely available. I just happened to grab one at random from Amazon for the link, which unfortunately seems to be a lousy example. This is the one I own and very much approve of.
Did he get this one, the highest rated one on Amazon? [link]
I don't have an answer to your question, but I bought and used that for years and yes, the pressure is unreal. I just had to barely tap it forward to be bearable.
Still good though.
I can't speak to wiping the other part, but at least for #2 I can't recommend a bidet enough. I just got a cheap one off amazon, but it has been a game changer. Not only is there no debris but we also spend quite a bit less on TP. This is the one I got, but there are fancier ones that you can hook up to hot water lines and ones that have dual nozzles and stuff as well.
Haven't bought yet but that seems to be the best rated and most popular on Amazon. In the end they're all designed to shoot water at your ass so the only really difference in most is the dial lol.
I've got one of these that just hook on to your toilet. Super easy install and uninstall, so you can buy one, stick it on your current toilet, and take it with you when your lease is up.
They are amazing.
Agree with the others...not okay. However, maybe installing something like this bidet will help you with the clean feeling? I bought the one linked a few months ago and absolutely LOVE IT!
You can get them that attach to your toilet. That’s the kind I have and it’s a godsend. I always thought they were kinda weird, and didn’t understand them. But the great TP shortage of 2020 made me get one. I. Love. This. Thing. I dread having to use the bathroom if not at home because there isn’t a bidet. The one we have
yes i made a strange and irrelevant off the cuff reply to your comment, you thought i was offended and chose to engage in that. So at that point we weren't talking about shitpaper anymore but nummy meats. Its crazy how conversations can change topics isnt it?
Side note for your bootyhole if ya need:
I had the same concerns. I have had one for a year now and will never live in a home without one again. It actually does just work. $30ish and and pretty easy install and your life will be forever changed.
Honestly, buy a bidet and let the water dig in for you. Your b-hole will thank you and the bidet will pay for itself after a year or two, maybe less depending on how often you poop.
We have two of these.
I have two of these. Super easy to install and well worth it. Had to buy one for my basement because everyone kept crapping in my master bath!
Bidets. You don’t have to get the fancy expensive ones with heated seats. This works just fine.
An under-seat mounted bidet. You can install them easily and they’re life changing. My wife was skeptical, but she’s a true believer now. At first, she thought she wouldn’t want one with only cold water, but it’s really not a problem at all. If you REALLY want warm, you can get one for not too much more. You just have to run a line from your hot supply under the sink, so it depends on where things are situated in your bathroom, how much work you feel like doing, and just how important the warm water is to you.
here’s the one I have
They are life changing. Installed mine right before the pandemic and my butthole couldn't be happier. Even the cheap ones work well and can be attached to any standard toilet. [link]
(Not a big bidet shill I swear)
For an easy alternative, try a bidet. Just a couple minutes of use and your rectum will be sparkly clean! Don’t bother with the heated water models, they’re not necessary.
Ditto the bidet!
I've got this one. It took about 10 minutes to install, super easy! I never have to worry about smells or being unclean down there. And a little secret... it feels good to use too ;)
The cheap ones are perfect for apartments and incredibly easy to install in an apartment toilet.
It comes with a simple T shaped connector. You'd turn the water valve off by the toilet, unscrew it and connect it to the T connector and back to the valve
Take off the toilet lid (usually a plastic screw on either underside of the lid holding it there), put bidet in place, replace lid over it and screw back together.
Should take maybe 10-15 mins tops.
This was the first one I had in my apartment and it works great.
If your toilet is close enough to your sink and can easily access the water valves under it (i.e. there's not a cabenit under your sink blocking them), you can get the hot water model and it gets the hot water from the same valve that supplies your sink.
Go be clean! It's a game changer to blow up that toilet and feel shower fresh after. I feel like the guy with a model T and all my friends still cleaning up after their horse and buggies.
Can’t remember what he said on stream but I’m 80% sure one of them was Tushy, they’re ~the~ entry level bidet and will run you $90-120. I owned a Luxe for a few years before upgrading and for 30 bucks it an easy pick. Wishing you luck with future bidet adventures :)
Get a bidet that attaches to your toilet. They are inexpensive and work very well.
Read the reviews and questions! These things are life changing.
It can change your life too my fellow ape.
By no means am I promoting Amazon OR whatever the fuck this brand is, but the premise is there. It's simple to hook up, and some even have a 3-way cleaning nozzle (For self-cleaning, lady bits and anal bits)
As a Muslim who always washes with water after a poop, all my family uses TP for is to check/dry our perfectly clean butts. There should be nothing on the TP when we’re done. Buy a bolt on bidet from Amazon for like 20$ y’all nasty, crusty asses. lol
I can't read Spanish, so I don't know if any of the purchasers have anything to say about the types of toilets or fitment issues.
However, if there aren't any fitment issues with normal Mexican toilets, this is the type of bidet attachment I'd recommend. Inexpensive compared to other bidet options, effective, and designed to mount on existing toilets.
I think this will save you some money in the long run. Got one on each toilet in my home. I'd recommend you get some cheap white washcloths to dry afterwords as well as make sure your clean. $3.00 at Walmart for a pack of 18. Keep them in a basket on the back of the toilet and a small trashcan behind the toilet for a segregated "used butt rag" bin.
You can get a bidet that can be installed in less than 10 min. No plumber required. Easy to remove as well so good for renters also.
Mine doesn't make a mess at all. It comes out on a pretty small stream like maybe the diameter of a pencil at most so it's not like it's just doing a big sweeping spray like one of those old school sprinkler heads. Any water that hits you just falls right down in the bowl.
I don't remember the exact one I got but it was similar to this one. It's just one of the cheap mechanical ones that's like $30-$40
Ok so full disclosure the price has doubled since I bought it last year at the start of the pandemic.
There’s some other cheaper options though it seems. Can’t speak to those. Again I want to emphasize there’s much nicer bidets but I’m totally satisfied with the one I have.
No need in my eyes to buy one of the $300+ versions.
Thank me later.
Bidets are cheaper than one would think, and they're easy to install if you have the right tools. I got this one on sale for $34 once. All I needed to buy extra was a flexible pipe and it's real easy to set up. Best purchase I've ever made
It's the entire control panel. look at this luxe bidet that can be purchased for less money. Wouldn't you rather use this streamlined product than the flat fake wood grained product you're offering, even if the wood grain one was less money instead of more?
I don't know about portable bidets, I've never used one. A friend of mine has a simple non-electric bidet which attaches to the toilet and you could probably install yourself without the need for permission. All it requires in terms of plumbing is attaching a cable. It might still not work for your case, but I want to show that there are more "light-weight" options aside from portable bidets.
And just to be clear, I was serious about the fissures.
You can buy cheap bidet seat for $40. You hook it up underneath the toilet seat and it works like a charm. I have two of those in both bathrooms in our house and they're fantastic [link]
This is the model I recommend
It's a very basic attachment with no warm water or electric features, but that also means you don't have to run a ground-fault outlet and a new water line to install it. Just works from your toilet's existing fill line, there a t-joint included, goes between the fill line and your toilet's tank.
It does make the seat crooked because of the added height, there are risers you can buy to level that out but I never bothered.
Send the water line to the bidet then the toilet.
All in all takes like 30 minutes.
They are called bidets. They didn't really catch on because the second fixture and required room just made it expensive for something most people see as covered.
If you're interested
Yup, exactly those. They’re insanely easy to install and you’re going to hate taking a dump anywhere that doesn’t have one after you start using it.
This is one of the best purchases I've ever made. I tell people about it at work (I'm American) and everyone calls me crazy.
$35 on Amazon and it took me like 20 minutes to install.
My dude, you can get them For $35 nowadays.
Best $40 I've ever spent.
I have one of these. Like 10 minutes to attach it to your toilet and it's smooth sailing!
Get a bidet. Changed my life. [link]
This is the one we have
The price has gone down since we ordered
This is the one I should have bought
Try one like this!
This is the one we have, it works great and was super easy to install. No electricity needed.
No because I have a bidet.
Do yourself a favour and get one plz.
Get a bidet!
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
Now try a bidet: [link]
I got a bidet. Changed my life, no exaggeration. Wipe first for the big stuff, then use bidet fully, then wipe again one time to get the water off. My toilet paper usage is way down, and my butthole is never agitated and sore.
I also take soluble fiber pills to make it be normal coming out. It's no big deal to me like it is to you. Taking 3-6 of them a day is way easier than trying to incorporate some traditional food into my diet. The fact that it's soluble is fine. There is a definite difference in the solidness due to the fiber pills.
Edit: added a link to the bidet I got.
Add a bidet to your toilet for a sparkly clean arse. Also, avocado and flax seed as mentioned by others seems like a good idea.
OMG, only $35, though I recommend the $48 upgrade if you're a lady.
The hype is all true, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Just buy a bidet
Attachable bidets are a good alternative.
Dude don't wait to redo the bathroom, get a bidet attachment for your existing toilet.
I recommend this one. For real, though. It helps!
Seriously, bidets are life-changing. Mine was $35 and I don't know how I lived without it. Easy to install even in my rental apartment.
Neither, I use a bidet. Much more environmentally friendly and much more hygenic. Best $35 I've ever spent.
that's what i have...life changing.
Buy a Bidet off amazon and dont ever whipe more than twice again. I will link it below. Once you go Bidet you never go back.
There are some inexpensive options out there, very easy to install
Honestly people still just don't know what a modern bidet is, they still think its a separate unit entirely like the little sink
I try to explain to people that its $40 on amazon, installs in minutes with no tools, and lives right under your toilet seat. It makes you shower fresh after every poop and you end up saving money over time with the reduced TP/Wet Wipe consumption. It's completely hands free.
I evangelize about bidets like a 1920s automobile owner talking to his horse & buggy neighbor. Ya'll in the past doing it wrong.
What other mess do you NOT bring water into play to clean up?? Especially shit? You can wipe for days but you're never as clean as a constant adjustable stream of water can get you.
Hot Water model
Fancy is nice but for a fully functional one that just has what you need ... $40 ez to install.
Oops I lied it’s $40 [link]
My mom went to Italy and loved the idea so much, she bought an installable one from Amazon. She's the only person I know who has one.
I have no problem with being downvoted. Here you go, it's the one I've been using for more than a year. Works great, and it's $26. https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=bidet&qid=1552950899&s=gateway&sr=8-3
Pro Tip: Buy a Bidet add-on. They’re under $35 on Amazon
Yes with one of these attached
That thing is a game changer
Here ya go.literally changed my life
I think they’re pretty easy to install/uninstall. You could get one and just take it with you when you move
Here is a pretty inexpensive one
Same. Mine is from "Luxe". You get used to the water temp. Installs ridiculously easy.
They're pretty sweet especially if you have a hairy ass.
I've had no problems with this one:
You can get this kind of bidet attachment pretty cheap on Amazon. I have the more expensive one that uses warm water and it's pretty great. Easy to hook up too. I would recommend getting a T-adapter like this one (the one I have) because the bidet comes with a cheap plastic one that leaks easily.
Since colorectal cancer is on the rise, and earlier in today's sub someone mentioned bidet attachments for their toilet -- I think we should take a moment to appreciate this review of the top selling bidet attachment on Amazon:
>Speaking as a hirsute gentleman, the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 has soured me on pooping in bidet-less toilets forever. It's shown me the difference between rubbing peanut butter out of shag carpeting with a paper towel, and that sparkling clean feeling you get right when you step out of the shower.
>The unit took me all of about 10 minutes to install on my existing toilet with only a wrench. The easy-to-control flow valve allows you to provide just the right amount of water pressure for a full range of cleaning, from "gentle trickling stream" to "full-on 'Silkwood' decontamination", ensuring the end of your bowel movement leaves you feeling cleaner and more refreshed than using just toilet paper alone. Even flush-able wet wipes pale in comparison.
I hope to report back on the state of my rectal health shortly after a few weeks of use. Hemorrhoids be damned!
Bidets are amazing. You can get attachments for around $30 on amazon that don't affect the toilet itself (if you're renting or whatever).
I bought the one with the "ladies" nozzle when my ex husband moved out (I let him have the one I linked because I thought an upgrade would be nice). I don't think it's necessary, you can just lean to get that area. Regardless, it's useful for 100% of poops, not just the gross ones. Also useful for cleaning up after sexy times :P
I hope you feel better!!
$35 at Amazon and 10 minutes to install:
I think it's paid for itself already in less TP usage.
we've enjoyed this one
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)
I have these in my house, price went up I guess. Still 100% worth it.
If you think a bum gun is great, you should definitely get a bidet. This thing changed my life and made pooping so much more enjoyable.
I’m tellin’ you, brah — it’s a revelation.
This is the one I use: www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_dl_0G0V3MEBXRAPZE88369D)
Easy, 15-min install.
We've got this bidet and it's an absolute bowel movement gamechanger.
[link] $40 + Bumpers [link] $9
Change your life for less than $50
Thank you for the reply. That makes sense but the amount of pressure that's ok for my butt versus the amount that's ok for my nephew's 6 yr old butt is very different so I was looking for one more appropriate for his size.
This is the one I have:
I was thinking maybe the neo 185 with the "feminine" attach would work but I'm not sure of the angle that would be on it.
Get this one right here. It’s a super simple install, it’s only $35. So if you want to take it with you, it’s easy to remove, but in the end, you’re only out $35.
LOL, it was $35 on Amazon. I'm not rich, but I treat my ass as well as I can afford!
A nice, refreshing, blast of water.
Believe me, you'll never want to go back.
This is the one I have. $40 on Amazon.
I hate pooping without it.
35 bucks on amazon! Installed on all the toilets. First thing I had ordered even we moved in to the new house. amazon bidet for 35
Recently got one, they're shockingly cheap on Amazon (well reviewed one for $35). Life-changing, never-going-back type of purchase.
$35 on amazon and 10min install, literally my best amazon purchase to date!
Bidet I purchased from amazon.
This is the answer right here. You can get one off Amazon for $35.
I have the earlier version of this model and it's worked very well for me.
Easy to install (less than 20 minutes with 0 prior plumbing experience) and works as intended.
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 , it’s on sale! $26
It was about two years ago I read about bidets (I think in frugal) and my God, what a difference in money saved, cleanliness, comfort.
adapter that comes with seat sux, so buy this one
Try a bidet. I bought this one, and it has significantly improved my butthole's attitude.
^Item&nbsp;Info | Bot&nbsp;Info | Trigger
You've been given good advice, but let me suggest something else. Get something relatively cheap, and see if it's good for you. If you find your want some other features, you can figure out what bidet fits you best, with the knowledge you've gathered from your experience with the lies expensive bidet.
LUXE Bidet Neo 120
TUSHY Classic Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment
Here ya go friend, enjoy. No outlet needed.
You can't get this?
Last week was my one year anniversary of an actually clean butthole [link]
Here ya go.
The ones I got are just under $40 each and they’re very well-made. [link]
This can be attached to just about any toilet without damage or significant skill required, and removed just as easily when you move out. [link]
Neo 120 is a great entry level. They go on sale periodically if you keep an eye on them.
The Neo 120 is easy to install, pretty affordable, and incredibly simple to use.
I have bought 3 of these for various houses.
pretty inexpensive, unless this is not it
Here you go!
A bidet is life changing, like buying a really nice mattress or something you use for everyday health.
They're affordable and can install on any toilet, even an apartment unit.
This one one is a great starter model. Install in 10 mins with no tools.
This one has hot water too and is a good buy if your toilet and sink are next to each other without an underside cabenit, because the hot water attaches to the sink line.
I have this fancy one complete with air dryer, heated seat, and night light lol. I can't poop anywhere else.
Everyone should get one. Saves soooo much money on TP and you just feel cleaner after a poop. Because you are and can look down on those walking around with dirty butts.
This thing changed my life.
Now I scroll r/hermancainaward with a cool blast of water blowin' the dookie chunks off my starfish.
Average wiping fan vs average bidet enjoyer
I prefer the electric supply for warm water and a heated seat in the winter. There are some that are just aspray of cold water from the supply line. You can also buy a hand sprayer.
You can order one off Amazon Like this one here or go to Lowe's, Home Depot like this one . They're basically attachments that connect to the hose that goes into the toilet (so it's fresh water). There are handheld sprayers you can use as well. To dry off, you can use a hand towel or just drip dry. There are more expensive bidets that can also dry but I have one and barely use it. Plus, blowing toilet air onto my lady parts isn't as appealing. I'd rather use a hand towel. I usually use it for the whole day. After I wipe, I rinse it with soap in the sink and hang it next to my toilet for next time.
No need for power, if you don't need heat dry or hot water generation from the bidet.
Like this one.
Join the clean side....
This is the one I have 2 of them. Works great!
With this, you just need to pat your butt crack dry.
For $40 USD you can get kits on Amazon that attach to your toilet like this. Ten minutes to connect.
For 40$ USD you can make this easier
Not really sure what to tell you then lol here's mine just in case. Maybe you have low water pressure?
I just went by numbers of stars, and I've been happy
I got this one
For $40 you can get LUXE Bidet Neo 120 off of Amazon. Easy DIY install. After installation if the pressure is a bit much get the Metal T-adapter with Shut-off <strong>Valve</strong> for $12. I got one ... then installed all my toilets with it 3 years ago.
Hi! This is actually our Neo 120 Bidet. The brand is LUXE Bidet and we are the #1 Bestseller on Amazon. Here is a link to check out the exact model pictured: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=zg_bs_6810562011_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQ1WJAFXT3F32VX8D4TA
This is the one I purchased: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
A bidet. You'll be way cleaner than ever before, you'll use a lot less toilet paper, and they're cheap (Amazon has one for $40).
Get a bidet!
Get a bidet, for the love of God!
This one. I happen to have the same model and recognized it.
This is the first model we used. It's affordable enough that you can get more than one, easy to hook up yourself, reliable, and doesn't require power.
It depends whether you want hot and cold water or just cold. I recommend a dual nozzle, self cleaning. This is the one I have and it has the highest purchases and reviews on Amazon [link]
hot and cold
Having mine, I can say that a lower profile control would be nice and getting brass fittings is good too. Pick up one of those t adapters with a shut off.
At this point I have 3 different models all purchased at less than $30 during different sales.
LUXE Bidet Neo 120 since 2017. It's probably my favorite. It doesn't have the "Feminine wash" nozzle, however, both women in my house say there isn't a difference in spray placement, only angle. They don't think it matters.
LUXE Bidet Neo 180 was next about a year later. This one seemed to have a little more pressure, which isn't necessary. The one major complaint I have (and I'll own it's cause I'm big) until I put it on a elongated bowl, my thigh constantly triggered the lever when I was getting up. It was/is immensely frustrating and I would never pay full price for one with a lever. I think I bought this one at around $20, and even as frustrating as it's been, that's too good a deal to pass up again.
Finally, my daughter wanted one for her bathroom, and we got the Bio Bidet SlimEdge Simple Bidet this December. She's had no complaints and says she thrilled to finally have one in her bathroom. The only problem I noticed when I first tried it is that there isn't a positive stop for turning it off. It's easy to flip back and forth between "Feminine, and Rectal".
Now another difference between these models is the "NOZZLE GUARD GATE" I don't see it as a positive or negative. I had a problem with the gate getting trapped open on one and poking me in the ass. Also, it does present a larger target to get "marked". However, I'm happy I never unintentionally sprayed someone else poo on my butt.
One final thing I will go over is the whole "heated" thing. We really only noticed the water temp the first few times. One of these is even in my basement, easily the coldest water around. My basement taps can produce water that's similar to ice water. I don't even notice a difference between the levels and temps.
My recommendation is keep an eye on Slickdeals.net. Buy the cheapest one you can get ahold of and try it yourself.
If you know anyone that has one, ask to use their bathroom. You don't have to go #2. Just sit down and try it. Although, I will warn you. We've got several laughs from multiple friends trying it for the first time and hearing, "OH, GOD!" from the bathroom when it hits for the first time. Inevitably they all emerge saying, "That was fuckin weird, but now I really want one." Out of the 12ish people I know have tried it, only 2 said they could take it or leave it (our 2 teenage boys).
Looking at buying https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=tushy&qid=1609388745&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyQjhEQ0U1VVg5UEJVJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTUzMTY3M01TUkdNN1hSMlJWRyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwOTE1NDI4MTcyVUlDS01MNFhFMyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
But all the how to videos show them having a bendy pipe running into the toilet that they can move around freely to create like a T connection for the bidet. Basically just wondering if I'd be able to connect this bidet to this pipe.
^^^^AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read this before contacting the mod team
A little background: My wife and I are in our late 30s. Wife's sister and husband are in their mid 40s. Wife's mother is 70, and she lives with the sister. Everyone gets along. BIL and I are both in tech, and while we would never pass for construction subcontractors, we've both owned homes for 10-15 years, and can do basic repairs around the house. In-laws live about 35 minutes away.
During a recent visit, I mentioned that I avoided any toilet paper shortages in 2020 because I had bought a $30 bidet from Amazon last year. The MIL was intrigued, and asked if she bought one, could I install it. I kind of laughed, and replied that it’s super simple, and BIL can install it. Honestly, anyone with a wrench can do it in 5 minutes. SIL and MIL balked, and said they'd rather have me do it. This is a guy who installed wired Ring flood lights around the house, has replaced some sprinkler heads, and even replaced a toilet lid before, which is half the task! BIL was in the room, and kept silent. I just said "uh, OK"
Fast forward a few weeks, my wife says that MIL found a bidet she likes at Home Depot, and wants to know when I can come over to install it. I don't say yes, but instead ask my wife why cant BIL install it? She says she doesn't know, maybe he's dumb and won't do it right. (I should add BIL is a very passive person...one might call it pussy-whipped).
It's not a huge ask for me, but I'm honestly dumbfounded that everyone wants me to spend over an hour in the car just to do a 5 minute task when they have a perfectly capable person (two people, if I'm being honest) living there. My wife says I'm the AH because I don't want to help her mom. I said if BIL wasn't there or had some reason he couldn't do it, I'd be more than happy to help.
So AITA for pushing to have BIL do it instead of me?
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During a recent visit, I mentioned that I avoided any toilet paper shortages in 2020 because I had bought a $30 bidet from Amazon last year. The MIL was intrigued, and asked if she bought one, could I install it. I kind of laughed, and replied that it’s super simple, and BIL can install it. Honestly, anyone with a wrench can do it in 5 minutes). SIL and MIL balked, and said they'd rather have me do it. This is a guy who installed wired Ring flood lights around the house, and replaced some sprinkler heads. He's even replaced a toilet lid before, which is half the task! BIL was in the room, and kept silent. I just said "uh, OK"
Fast forward a few weeks, my wife says that MIL found a bidet she likes at Home Depot, and wants to know when I can come over to install it. I ask my wife why cant BIL install it? She says she doesn't know, maybe he's dumb and won't do it right. (I should add that the SIL is dominant, and BIL is passive...basically pussy-whipped).
It's not a huge ask, but I'm honestly dumbfounded that everyone wants me to spend over an hour driving over there to do a 5 minute task when they have a perfectly capable person living with them. My wife says I'm the AH because I don't want to help her mom. I said if BIL wasn't there or had some reason he couldn't do it, I'd be more than happy to help.
Got off Amazon for $35
This is the one I got for my small college apartment bathroom, works great. After a year+ of usage I can never go back. Feel free to ask any questions my dude.
You'll see a lot of high proceed bidets with bells and whistles: remote controls and programmed functions, etc. They are in no way necessary at all. You will end up just as clean and hygienic and feeling just as good if you spend $35 on a basic cold water bidet that is attached to your toilet seat. I love in a place with cold winters so I'm glad to have splurged and spend $60 for a device with hot and cold water. Even a $10 travel bidet can do the job of getting you clean.
But that's as much as you need. The idea of spending $350 for a powered bidet with heated seat, remote control, and who knows what else? It's completely unnecessary. And I say this as a crohnie who had spent many hours on the toilet. Get a basic bidet, get clean, and keep your money.
Cold water only
Hot & cold water
Obviously the best way to help him will depend on his specific needs. That said, one common problem with the constant bowel movements is rawness from constant wiping. A bidet can make for less pain.
Permanently installed bidets can be had for all little as $35-$60. Travel bidet bottles cost less than $10 and can provide some relief when away from the house.
Cold water only, installed bidet
Cold & warm water, installed bidet
Just saved you $9965
Got a bidet attachment from Amazon the first time we went through this mess and can't recommend them enough. So much cleaner and a roll of toilet paper lasts over a week for a family of 4. [link]
$35, has an option to clean the nozzle itself
NAD, but I do.... ah.... know a guy, that has had similar issues as you describe.
I can't say anything as to the cause or cure of the condition but can confidently report that a bidet like this has been known to be a extremely effective way to reduce the symptoms you describe.
You see, TP kinda starts acting like sandpaper you're using it multiple times an hour. Water is much more gentle.
Now is the time to consider a bidet: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO
Less toilet paper, better experience
Slow down, Joe. Not that kind of bidet.
A toilet seat attachment bidet: $35 (or a portable one: $16)
Automatic pet feeder: $45
Rice cooker: $17
"The Joy of Cooking" cookbook: $21
Electric Toothbrush: $40 (and I've heard people talk about a Waterpik, but I haven't bought that yet: $34)
Accordion Plunger: $13 (I always see people using those red sink plungers for your toilet, and that's not what you're supposed to use!)
Wyze Camera: $26
Book Stand: $14
Spices: $29 & $24
Digital kitchen scale: $13
Personally, an electric kettle in my office so I don't have to go downstairs for tea: $22
Haircutting Kit: $45 (I would get a haircut once every 3 months or so, but now I just cut my own hair on the 1st of every month)
Handcrank Emergency Radio: $40
Cat door: $13 (we moved our cat's litterbox to the laundry room, and this has been one of the best decisions we've made in a long time. I stubbed my toe on the open laundry room door once and the next day I had this thing installed)
Pop Socket Car Mount: $15
Sure thing. You can get an attachment that you just install underneath the toilet seat and hook right up to the water supply.
Ours was just like $30, hand tool install, you can remove it when you leave with no trace. It just attaches under a standard toilet seat. Not a full appliance style. Like this: [link]
As far as I know, hemorrhoids don't cure themselves. You can minimize the discomfort and adjust to living with them, but other than removal via surgery or rubber ligation, they don't go away. Creams help some people. They don't help me. I have a bidet like this:
We bought this attachment for $35 and it's been one of our best purchases. 10/10 would recommend.
You can buy bidet attachments on Amazon for US toilets - fairly affordable. Congrats on grad school. ([link])
Just plug bidet in amazon. They’re mostly low tech simple devices. I’m sure any of them work well
Can’t speak for op, but that was my bidet-barrier - no outlet. Then I discover these little guys and it’s been life changing. [link]
Exactly. I used one while on vacation in The Caribbean, and looked into installing them when I got home. The Amazon reviews are what sold me:
I'll do you one better, just go on Amazon, place your order for a $35 bidet attachment, and you'll only ever need one wipe with three to four sheets tops. Your prison purse will never be cleaner. Seriously, the relief of knowing you have the most clean bang-hole of everyone around you is so satisfying you'll likely want to come home and use your bidet after having to suffer through a public restroom experience just because you know you can do better!
They sell them on amazon. It’s called a personal diet. They have ones that attach to your toilet, or portable handheld ones in the form of spray bottles. Some examples:
They sell them on amazon. It’s called a personal bidet. They have ones that attach to your toilet, or portable handheld ones in the form of spray bottles. Some examples:
A bidet. I bought one after someone in a thread exactly like this suggested it, and it's as life-changing as they said it would be. [link] (Don't forget to use Amazon smile if you buy it.....doctors without borders could use the help)
My situation is similar to yours, OP.
This Parks and Rec. clip speaks to me.
Recently I bought this cheap "entry level" bidet on Amazon, and honestly... I sort of look forward to pooping because it's so much easier now. It's a maximum 10 minute install process that anyone can do, and then you're set.
You sit down and take your poop, then turn on the bidet, slowly increasing the pressure until it feels right, then wiggle your ass around a little bit. Turn off the bidet, wipe a couple times to clear the water off, and then move on with your day.
I'd advise against using wet wipes if you plan on flushing them. Even though the boxes say they're flushable, they really aren't. "Flushable" wet wipes cause so many clogged septic systems every year. Here's a quick 2 minute video from the BBC talking about what wet wipes do to the London sewer systems. It's much worse if you have a septic tank buried in your yard. Wet wipes can easily clog the hell out of your tank and then you need to get it pumped. Imagine coming home from work one hot summer day and your front lawn has become a literal puddle of shit and piss because your tank clogged and overflowed.
Bidet add ons go for $35 on Amazon . Save the planet while feeling like you just took a shower!
Also if you got poo on your face, you would definitely wash it off and not just use a paper towel to smear it, right???
oh wow. talk to her about getting a bidet, or get one for her. you can get a great bidet from amazon (or elsewhere), and they're not expensive. just a nice little jet of water to clean things off and you just pat dry. they're awesome!
for $20 you can get a bidet from amazon, they take about 5 minutes to install, and work amazingly well, this is the one I have -
Maybe talk to her about getting one, and see if it would help? She can then designate a few towels for butt drying duty.
You should buy a bidet attachment for your toilet. That way she just has to dry after, much more hygienic. I strongly recommend the Luxe bidets on amazon. Here is the one I have : Luxe bidet neo 120.
A basic bidet on Amazon is 35$.
Neo lux on Amazon. Pretty easy install. No warm water option, but I'm it's not necessary. Extra spacers are needed for the toilet seat, it they didn't work too well with the slow closing like, but otherwise it's nice.
It gets a little finicky to clean, but I'm a bit of a neat freak.
Bought a bidet off Amazon last year for this very reason...its totally worth the 30 dollars or whatever turned around and bought 2 more for the other bathrooms.
Super legit and was easy to install.
Here's the one I bought about about a year ago Amazon link
It's easy to install and does it's job.
The Luxe bidet is easy to install and comes with everything you need inside the box at $36 via amazon:
<strong>Luxe Bidet Neo 120</strong>
I like the knob rather than the more common "dials" which seem harder to twist. Good luck!
My suggestion is to take good care of your fiancee... since that's what you want them to think you're doing, after all ;-)
Did your father-in-law already buy a bidet?? If not, Amazon US actually sells cheap basic bidets/spray toilet seats that you could install, if you really wanted to go above and beyond. Really, though, a bidet is the answer you seek-- your in-laws will feel comfortable, and happy to know you cared enough to go out of your way since bidets aren't so common in the U.S.
Having slippers, chopsticks, and bottled beverages (non-sweetened) available for them would also be a nice gesture. Not everyone uses them, but for some folks it's a real comfort to have them around.
Lux Bidet. $38 at Amazon
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
Have you considered a bidet? They expedite the wiping process and make it all much more sanitary! They're available for $36 on Amazon and can be installed quite easily on any toilet using basic tools. https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=bidet&qid=1571242073&sr=8-4
My tactic: Install a bidet on your toilet and use it beforehand.
They're like $35 on Amazon and can be installed on most US toilets (including in leased apartments.)
Think of it like this-- if you fell in the mud, would ou rather wipe yourself off with paper towels, or take a shower? Now, apply that logic internally. Bidet blast that shit.
(Unrelated, but: A bidet will also save you a fortune on toilet paper in the medium/long term. They're great for scratching your anus, washing off period blood, and lazy after-sex cleanup. The whole "I'm too lazy to shower after sex, I'm just going to rinse off and put on some underwear." We've all been there.)
THATS THE EXACT ONE I GOT IT WAS A LITTLE ROUGH TO INSTALL BUT IM PRETTY SURE IM IN THE MINORITY ON THAT ONE REGARDLESS EVEN IF ITS THE WORST SON OF A B*TCH TO INSTALL I WOULD SAY ITS WORTH IT IT SOUNDS REALLY DUMB BUT IT REALLY IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS IVE BOUGHT IN YEARS
CRANK YOUR HOG AND CLEAN YOUR SLOG AROOOOOOOOOO
I thought the same thing about this one, but after a week, I got used to it. Full power is nothing now.
Here you go
It connects to the line to the toilet by attaching a splitter. They make some that heat the water, but they are a bit more pricy.
This is the one I get. Lasts about two years.
I own this bidet and it changes your life and doesn’t break the bank. It saves you a ton of money on toilet paper and if baby wipes. Way more hygenic too!
I guess it is $40 now after Covid-19 increased demand. I have been using mine for years and multiple friends have installed one after trying mine. [link]
They also make a model that has two nozzles (one is the same as this one and one is a lower pressure one that has a slightly different angle for feminine hygiene).
By yourself a bidet and keep some wet wipes in the bathroom. If he's just scraping dry toilet paper across his butt, that doesn't always do the trick. But yeah, some men are gross.
Something like this + backflow is still going to be cheaper than some of those $1000 ones linked above. May need an adapter though
Or just get a $30 travel one (basically a squeeze bottle with a angled nozzle)
This ones on sale right now
The bidet I bought is so nice, then you just dry it off. Pretty decent quality one was only $40 on amazon.
This bidet on Amazon is only $40
Buy a bidet for $40 on amazon. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I think they are allowed. I have the Luxe Neo 120. It’s currently out on amazon (I heard a lot of people bought bidets during this toilet paper “shortage”) but may be available elsewhere. It does not have warm water but I haven’t had any issues with that. I just personally didn’t want to spend the time looking at how to attach the hot water line to it. If you want warm water too then the luxe 320 has that option. I will warn you that the water stream may be a little strong at first so you’ll have to adjust the water pressure from the wall if the lowest setting is too high for you.
Search for neo 120 bidet on amazon.
This is the one Ive bought for both bathrooms. Unfortunately it’s sold out. I guess others are catching on.
I just googled.
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: but I know nothing about 'em lol. The ones I'm seeing on Home Depot, are the actual bidet toilet system. And I guess this attachment part that looks like a kitchen sink sprayer which I know nothing about.
This is what I bought from Amazon.
I lol'd so hard when Jihoon (90DF) was like my whole family anal so clean. I told my mom about the scene, and she linked me the attachment from Amazon, which I bought. Her bf installed it within minutes. When I used it, I lol'd so hard that my neighbors prob heard, which made my mom want to try. She yelped and laughed her damn head off, and now she has one too.
This is the one I have. Looks like it went up in price and it’s currently out of stock on Amazon. But if you google best bidets, Luxe is sure to pop up. They’re cheap, reliable, and effective. Enjoy! You will not regret it
They're super inflates in price on Amazon right now. I can't find the specific one right now but there are many similar ones such as this: [link]
You basically look for the non electric ones that look like this and normal price is probably 30-50 bucks. Really easy to install.
Order some bidet attachments from Amazon. Go to Ikea and get a couple dozen of these. You're good to go.
Edit: Ha! I see Amazon won't have them back in stock until March 22. There'll be a run on them then, I'm sure. There's always Walmart.
There’s no dryer on ours we have a $30 model from amazon.
Looks like it’s gone up in price though Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
Neo 120 Luxe Bidet, $50 from Amazon (a couple bucks cheaper from Walmart). Takes about 15 minutes to install, no changes to hardware or plumbing, just adding a splitter and hose under the tank. You’ll never go back to just TP.
I recently purchased two for my home back around Christmas time. I’m reaping all the rewards now!
Get it on Amazon for cheap guys! It’s life changing!
Here's a$60 bidet seat from Amazon that has 9000 reviews. Never buy TP again
It's better for the environment too. We got this one from Amazon a while back.
Not only do you save TP, but you feel a helluvalot cleaner with water too.
We've only ever bought one, so I have no frame of reference as far as comparison. But we've been satisfied with it. Had it for 6 years now.
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 (via Amazon)
I was talking to somebody about that today, they think TP is selling out because when SARS happened, China ran out of TP because they import TP. So apparently everyone who experienced that is buying up TP, and then everybody else see that and they go buy TP.
This is the theory the person I was talking to had, not my explanation. When I was stockpiling I did not stockpile TP, but I did buy extra Kirkland flushable wet wipes which I've been using which most people don't seem to know about (it's superior to TP). Also in a thread about TP hording somebody linked an easy add on bidet on Amazon (just watch the video, it's so simple), so I order one of those too and it's already arrived. LOL, so I'm fine for TP if that is an actual future problem.
The one I have is basically exactly identical to this but with different branding. I can't find it anymore on eBay, but I'm seeing similar ones for even less there. There are some other really nice ones on amazon as well. I’m sure they’ll pretty much all do the trick.
It took me 10 minutes to set up, and I'm made up of only thumbs. it might be manually adjustable, but sometimes I'll move my butt a bit to get it just in just the right spot.
Depending on what you get, turn the dial slowly! Gave myself quite the butt blast the first time.. Part of the attachment sits between the seat and the porcelain, so you might also want to get rubber bumpers for the seat
They call it a bidet in the ad (Luxe bidet neo 120), and anywhere else I've seen.
Your link was not an Amazon smile line (those are smile.amazon.com). Affiliate links are the ones that have the long number (GUID) after the link. But perhaps yours wasn't an affiliate link, it just looked that way with all the extra information. Or maybe you copied someone else's affiliate link unknowingly.
An Amazon smile bare link looks like this:
YES! It was constant, and almost right after I ate anything I had to go! I had to purchase a bidet attachment from Amazon I went so much, and the dry toilet paper was killing my sore ass. Carry a extra change of undies, and wipes. At 19 weeks I'm more "solid", and VERY thankful!
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link]
under $35 on amazon [link] AND you'll barely use toilet paper so ya save long term :)
I bought a BioBidet on amazon, for purposes unrelated to hot food, and for $35 it was a life-changing idea. Basically a bidet that fits on your standard toilet with no customization. Four of my friends went and bought one after using mine, there really is no going back to regular #2s after you've had a bidet.
That said, it makes the "day after" spicy food not a problem at all. The water is cool and rinses off all the residue so it doesn't burn anymore. Has self cleaning nozzle and what-not. They make special models for women that includes front undercarriage wash as well as rear.
Kinda gross and wayyyyy TMI but I couldn't be happier with it. If you like hot food this is the way to go.
This is the one I bought: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&aaxitk=-dLDvgpBsfN6Ss7wO6pI2A&hsa_cr_id=1860678880101&ref_=sb_s_sparkle
Get one. This one has a bazillion 5 star reviews on Amazon.
The few times I have had the pleasure of using a bidet when traveling to other countries I have VERY much enjoyed them. I plan to get this one for myself very soon! So I must reiterate they are AWESOME! GET ONE NOW!
You should show him reviews from all the bidet converts here: Luxe Bidet
I know, I know. One more thing to buy on Amazon. But this thing is so easy to install and it will change your life!
Install one of these, on every toilet you have.
Luxe Bidet Neo120
Get a bidet :) toilet paper lasts for months. Best investment of my life.
Use this. I love mine [link]
Here's the best $30 you'll ever spend. Dingleberry free and fresh as the morning dew.
Nope it's very easy! There are two main different types: attachments or full toilet seats.
The attachments are cheap and just get installed on your current toilet. You just need to take off the toilet seat which is just two screws and then the attachment hooks on in the middle of the screw between the toilet seat and the toilet itself. Then you just have to unscrew the water line going into your toilet and screw in a T-adapter that comes with the bidet. Screw the other side of the water line into the T-adapter so water still goes to the toilet, and then the T-adapter also goes to your bidet. Requires basically no tools (a wrench and Teflon tape will help get a tighter seal), and it took me about 2 hours to install although I could do it again in less than 30 minutes.
The full seats are installed basically the same way, but it just replaces the entire toilet seat itself. These are much more expensive but offer many more features such as heated seats, heated water, nozzle position and/or movement of the nozzle while in use, and a few others depending on which one you get. The one I got was about $300 but if you don't want to spend all that you can get ones on amazon for around ~$30. Here is a very popular one.
This will solve all your problems. Seriously. It's a game-changer.
True, though I greatly prefer to keep my hands out of it.
Just in case anyone is concerned that a bidet is a big investment, you can find one to add to your toilet for $25 and they don’t require electricity or any plumbing (aside from just screwing in one water hose).
Here’s a good looking pick from Amazon: [link]
Get her a bidet for the toilet and some nice cloth wipes to dry off with.
Dude wipes. 48 for $3.
Bidet on Amazon. $34. Doesn’t clog pipes. Lasts for years. Cleans the booty.
This bidet is pretty affordable and works really well unless you're planning on going all in and getting one of the heated fancy ones.
Here you go:)
How about this?
They make bidet attachments that fit between your existing toilet seat and the toilet now. Just take the seat off, put it in place, put the seat back on and attach the water connection to the one that's serving your toilet now. Takes about 10 minutes and costs between $30 and $80, depending on which unit you get. No renovation required.
EDIT: This is the one I have
Soaking in a warm bath feels even better.
I hope you're not going all day without being able to clean yourself effectively. Buy and install a bidet. You'll be so much cleaner than TP alone and won't rub yourself raw. A base, cold water only model can be had for $35. If you live in a cold climate and you can afford to splurge, spend the $60 and get a model with hot and cold water lines. You'll appreciate it during winter.
Lastly, spend $10-$15 and buy a portable bidet. I take this to the office everyday and am so glad to be able to clean myself with water. The portable models aren't quite as effective as the installed kinds but it's so much better than nothing.
This takes < 10 min to install and takes up no extra room. Best damn purchase I've made in a long time.
I had 3 fistulas. 1 was treated with a fistulotomy. I still have 2 setons in.
Setons make it difficult to wipe your butt because you have a wire in the same place you need to wipe. For the sake of both your hygiene and your sanity I cannot stress enough how helpful bidets are. A simple bidet installed on your toilet can cost as little as $40 for cold water only or $60 for hot and cold water (you'll appreciate that in winter if you live in a cold climate). Installation is straight forward if you're handy.
I also own a few portable bidets. These portable bidets clean as well as an installed bidet, though they're more inconvenient to use because you have to fill the bottle before use. They are very cheap at around $10 and I'm very grateful for them because it means I can keep myself clean while at work or out in the world during my day. I keep one at work and one in my bag so I know I always have one available.
Without the bidets the setons would be a miserable experience. With the bidet they are an inconvenience, but a manageable one.
You got $35?
Soak in a bath for as long as you can morning and evening. And use a bidet whenever you can. There are very affordable bidets that can be installed on an existing toilet and also portable squeeze bottle bidets for when you're away from home
Good rectal hygiene is critical if you're to feel good while dealing with loose bowels and fistula drainage. Otherwise you'll walk around smelly, dirty, and feeling like you have a festering infection all the time. Just be sure to dry yourself well after the bath and bidet use or you'll hurt the sensitive skin on your butt.
GET A BIDET!!!!
Look at this bad boy. Worth every single penny, and can be installed by yourself in under 10 minutes:
We ordered and use this [link]
You can install them on regular toilets.
Yeah, can’t be certain either way. We’ve been using for a year and never had/heard of an issue. In my head, I imagine they just dissolve. If you get them wet, they will start to break down in your hand, so I wouldn’t carry them openly in the rain. Especially if you’re toting around a large �� ��
In regards to the flushable wipes, we’re big fans of these dudes as an alternative: Luxe Bidet
East install, save ��on TP. Started with ☝��, but ended up putting them on all our thrones ��.
This thing is worth every penny plus savings in TP
In Japan (they are crazy about being neat) bidets are used everywhere
A bidet will change your life... I mean wiping with dry paper until you don't see shit is just not a reliable method for cleaning feces off your body. ...and it's only $35!
Here you go buddy!
You can order one that connects to your toilet on Amazon.
Best $40.00 you'll ever spend.
Yours only missing one thing bro
It won’t help the consistency of your poop, but get a bidet. Like, right now. I’ve had the exact same problem my entire life, then I lived with a European gentleman who had a bidet. I was confused and skeptical at first, but tried it out anyway and my life has never been the same since. It may seem weird, and will definitely take some getting used to the feeling at first, but I promise it will change your life. I used to spend 15-20 minutes wiping until I bled, now I give a 5 second bidet spray, a quick wipe with a baby wipe, pat dry with regular TP, and I’m done. BM’s that used to take me a half hour take barely 2 minutes with a bidet. I went from using 3 rolls of TP a week to 3 rolls a month. This is the one I have, but just search Amazon and find one you like! Install may seem daunting but it’s really not difficult at all, it takes 15-20 minutes and you’re all set.
bidet! this one is cheap, easy to set up, and quick ship. It does not heat the water, but if you live upstairs, it will be fine. I have it on my guest room bath and it's great! [link]
The one I use is magnificent
I don't know if it's just my apartment (everything seems to high water pressure) but I have to be careful or it can result in injury. Otherwise I feel it works much better than toilet paper. I still buy some but just to dry off and blow my nose when I'm out of tissues.
You sure can
Does $35 work?
I think he's referring to something like this. I have several in my house and they're completely awesome.
You can get much more expensive ones, but these works great too
I have this one
I had the WORST heartburn, gas, bowels for about 2 weeks. Adding fiber and taking an extra probiotic worked wonders for me.
As a side note: For under $50 you can buy a bidet toilet seat attachment on Amazon. That's what we have, but there are a bunch of choices. It took us 20 minutes to install ourselves. It is life changing. I have no clue why every house doesn't come with one.
I just (disgusting, I know) had a colonoscopy. No bleeding, no chapped backside, no enraged hemorrhoids.
Came here to say this. Read a comment saying the same thing a few days ago. Bought this, installed it and it's actually been kinda fun shitting. Yeah you wipe to dry. But it's a nice clean butthole after that.
Yes just do the Amazon search and you'll see a few models that are all highly rated. I got this one for $35 because it was the highest rated and had the most reviews (and has the cleaning function). I honestly can't tell what the difference is between the other models besides a few basic functionalities. The one i got works perfectly and is a great price.
I bought this and it's amazing. It just connects between the water line and the toilet [link]
IT's 2017, WHY DON'T YOU OWN ME?
They aren't that expensive and worth every cent to get one to attach to your toilet to see how you like them. It's really too bad they aren't standard.
A bidet might help. You can get a good one that's easy to install for less than $35. Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment
I have this one and it is fantastic. So good, that I installed it on both our toilets.
this is the one I have love it. Only $40
I own this one from Amazon. Takes about 5 minutes to install and costs about $50.00 Definitely worth it!
I'm gonna hijack this thread really quick and say that I have installed those bidets that can fit onto your current toilet seat. I have them in both of my places, and as a dude, have been using them for years. I can say the best advantages are:
They're really not that expensive: [link]
IMO in your case this is the solution Bidet
Was just about to post something like this. If you can convince them to let you chuck one of these in there you won't give a damn about the TP quality.
This is why:
Always use the right paper for the right job. If you're wiping your bathroom sink with toilet paper, you're gonna be sorry later.
Own a bidet attachment or a toilet with one built in. Your toilet paper will last way, way longer, and your butt/vag will be way, way cleaner.
Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. They even have one with a feminine setting
If we have them they are like this and attach to the toilet. I have that model and it is the best.
get a neo 120
These do. Friend bought one for her b/f and it worked just fine. That brand also makes other versions that also fit.
I tried one of these [link]
I just had a new toilet installed last week and didn't think that this wouldn't fit [link]
Probably a late reply but I would recommend to get one that at least has a self-cleaning function. It only costs a few dollars more but it is much more sanitary. The Luxe Neo 120 is the version that has it and has a good review.
If they're smart, the same way I do. With one of these, then one wipe to dry off.
Get a bidet, it'll help - your butt hole will thank you:
Here you go buddy
This is the one
I have a $30 one and I love it. Something like this. All it uses is the clean cold water incoming to the toilet and use it to spray you clean. It doesn't have any electronics like these fancy ones.
Seconding this - you'll never, EVER to back to strictly toilet paper after you have a bidet.
I actually installed them in the two bathrooms we have at the office. Pooping without the bidet just feels...unsanitary...now. And they're only $40!
Have you thought about installing a bidet. I know there's ones on Amazon that is just an extension that anyone can add to their existing toilet. Costs like 30 USD iirc.
oooh hmm ok This is the one I am looking at buying
LOL Thanks for that review! This is the one I am thinking of getting.
The cheap and easy bidet seat to get is one of these:
It doesn't cost much, and it's pretty easy to install on any regular toilet.
Lol "set it to jet" haha ! I like that. No, but seriously check this out, it's the one I have
I would like to highly recommend anyone reading this to get a bidet. It severely cuts toilet paper use and genuinely improves your quality of life.
I use one similar to this.
The Gods Smile Upon You
Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) [link] this one?
Do you really feel like the water jet gets leftover shit matter off your butthole? Serious question. I currently use flushable wet wipes because normal TP just doesn't feel clean.
This model is from the same manufacturer, just a few dollars more, and is self-cleaning.
Pretty sure it's this model, and there is a video on that page.
Well I only have the one and it was like $40, not sure what your budget is exactly. But here's a link!
If you don't already have something like it, I have one of these and it's great. Pretty cold, but easy to install if you have basic plumbing knowledge, and they make cheaper and more expensive versions.
I actually have one that I ordered on amazon (this, or something like it, for anyone who's interested) and it's pretty great. It attaches to the same water that fills the toilet tank, so it's a pretty easy install, less than an hour. But it can't travel with me!!
This will change your life
Bidets just need to be standard. I have this one and it is amazing. Now it just sucks when I'm away from home - so in a public restroom I grab a wet paper towel to do a final pass after toilet paper and then toss it in the trash.
You don't need to go that far though, forty bucks gets you a very capable add on: [link]
Thanks. I guess I'll need to pick up Slaughterhouse 5. Seems like a strange freakin' idea for a book. Must have executed the hell out of it though, the way people talk about it.
YOU DO CARDIO? Some days it's all I can do to go to the store to pick up prescriptions.
I wrote a bunch about my fistula, but it went to the bit-bucket. Here's a slightly shorter version. Lucky you :)
Didn't have insurance. Got sick in June 2014. Tried to make it to January when my insurance kicked in. Got prednisone, was taking 60mg and it only helped some. Legs swelled up like tree-trunks, had weeping edema. Went to GI doctor, did colonoscopy in September. Said I didn't have UC as I had thought for years, but Crohns. He said nothing about a fistula. Put me on pain pills which helped, so he took me off them, even though I wasn't AT ALL BETTER. Spent a lot of time with my head down on my desk, just existing. Sometimes I'd lay on the couch in the fetal position to be sociable.
Days before Thanksgiving, I felt something pop,or tear. Went to GI doctor that day, he didn't know what to say, but he knew TO CUT MY PAIN PILLS, the fucker. Later I find out it was my fistula breaking through into my groin. I developed a swelling where people often get an inguinal hernia. I thought that's what I had.
Days before Christmas, and just 2 weeks before my insurance kicked in, I got three pulmonary embolisms. Went to ER, got admitted. Because of my colitis, they couldn't give me a 'clot-buster', so it took three months before I could stand and walk without fear of passing out. The dumb-ass physical therapy ppl kept trying though. I CAN'T PHYSICAL THERAPY MY WAY THROUGH A BLOOD CLOT!
The surgeon said that the fistula had traveled from back to front, via my scrotal sac, and I was days away from gangrene of the nether regions. So they cut me from back to front, via my scrotal sac. They left that wound open, for four months, to heal from the inside out. For the record, if you'd asked me to pick the one area I didn't want a seven-inch open wound for four months, that would be the #1 answer on the board - SHOW US 'ANUS TO DICK VIA SCROTAL SAC!' Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingding! Oh, and somewhere along the way, I got two kidney stones too. Life IS grand.
In april I had outpatient surgery on my fistula. Thought that would be minor because, you know, outpatient. Not so much.
I'm on antibiotics now, and if they don't help (they're not) I'm up for another round of surgery.
I don't do many sitz baths, as the little bowl for the toilet is ridiculous, and hard to deal with. I should try the regular bath, thanks. I bought a bidet attachment from Amazon. It's nice for keeping clean, but it doesn't do the work of a sitz bath.
Seriously, it will pay for itself with the toilet paper savings. You just need a couple sheets to dry your butt.
They're not too expensive if you get one on Amazon. I bought this one about a month ago, and it's really great!
Listen man, I got a secret for you.
^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?
I live in America, and my family and I have been using these attachable bidets for a very long time and it is difficult or uncomfortable for me to go without it. Also use toilet paper to dry up afterwards
This type of thing.
Might I suggest a solution for your problem?
I got a bidet before Xmas and I can't recommend it enough. It was simple to install, it's only cold water but that was surprisingly not a problem.
I'm at the point now where I'm telling everyone they should get a bidet.
The one I bought was $40
If you are still using toilet paper, you are doing it wrong.