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I believe someone suggested this last time, but get a security door bar that you can use to keep the door from opening while you're at home. Quick, cheap, and you're not damaging or changing the property without the landlord's permission- it won't prevent unauthorized showings while you're out but it'll at least keep them from walking in on you while you're in bed again.
> When we told him that I use the futon as a couch or for entertaining guests, he told us that we have to text him in a clock in clock out fashion whenever guests enter the premises regardless of whether they spend the night.
Unless that requirement is listed in the lease I would tell him you're not going to do that.
> 1) What can I do regarding his random entrances? He’s already just walked into my apartment no knocking or announcement and I don’t doubt he will do it again.
Put a security stick on the door when you're home... that will prevent unwanted entry. Landlord cannot just randomly enter - as mentioned by /u/poolparty90019 it has to be with notice and for a specific purpose.
get a dog, alarm system.
you can buy cheap $20 door jam rods, they work for sliding and normal doors.
Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in, White, Pack of 1 [link]
strengthen your doors with longer lock screws and reinforced metal frame parts.
buy and train with a gun. have a family plan and drill and practice what you all should do.
get more motion sensor lights.
even if you don’t have them get those big warning stickers for gates and windows/doors that indicate you have a big ass dog and or a security system.
maybe you can find some half joking half serious sticker that has a picture of a pit bull ‘My Pitbull Will Bite and Never Let Go’
god that’s terrifying... all of sound like dangerous and terrifying situations. possible assulters, peeping toms, maybe robbers?? it’s freaking endless. sometimes it’s terrifying just being a woman... if i were you I’d absolutely get some protection and a dog before living on your own. it’s hard to raise a puppy but beyond worth it. sometimes just having a second set of senses is worth it, the company is very comforting too.
there’s also a stick that you can get for your door - one like this
Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in, White, Pack of 1 [link]
You can get a bar like this: [link]
You don't need to install anything so a landlord can't complain about you altering the apartment and no one will be able to open the door from the outside while it's against the door even if they have keys to all the locks.
Yikes! Consider getting yourself one of these for your apartment door -- that way, even if he somehow gets a key for it, he still can't get in while you're home.
This depends, but usually no. The lock installed on your front door is extremely important for security. You can add a security bar such as this for when you are home, but it is no substitute for a good lock installed correctly.
Even if it's a good lock, if the landlord doesn't make a practice of rekeying the lock with each tenant, you have no idea who has a key to your apartment.
Change your lock. Check your lease to find the exact language. You may be able to change the lock without permission if the provisions against alterations are generic and you are in certain states, provided you give your landlord a key.
Otherwise, you could try to get permission to change it, provided that you give them a key. Most landlords are reasonable, especially if you keep asking about it. It's such an inconsequential alteration because you can just put the old lock back when done.
If they need further incentive, and it's particularly important to you, tell them you are installing a higher grade lock that they can keep when you move out. This probably won't work if it's a large company with many units, but for smaller landlords or if you are renting a house or something from its owner, that can often work.
I would not be able to sleep at night with a shitty landlord-installed kwikset on my door. I always put on my own lock, and it's never been an issue. One time I forgot to give my landlord a key, and it was a reasonably large property management company. They just asked me for a key and I gave them one and it wasn't an issue.
Also, when I'm talking about locks here, I specifically mean the deadbolt. The deadbolt is where you get your security, and it needs to be properly installed with the strike plate secured with long screws to the frame of the dwelling -- NOT just into the door jamb.
edit: I just realized you had a roommate who moved out. Yeah, you need to request your lock is rekeyed or replaced.
Your experience seriously sucks. I hear you loud and clear on the gun control point as well. I hope you don't mind a few questions:
Thanks much, and glad you and your girlfriend are OK. I also suggest investing in a door barricace. Even something like this could make a difference.
I’ve no idea about the harassment but I wanted to recommend getting a door stopper stick. I too have had maintenance enter my apartment when I was asleep. Super creepy! Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in, White, Pack of 1, [link]
>I slammed my own door shut, locked it, and put a chair in front of it for good measure.
Get a Security Bar! They are cheap as hell, work better than a chair and are an absolute must-have security accessory for anyone who lives in an apartment. These keep people who may have keys (landlord, former tenants, particularly sneaky people, etc.) from opening your door.
They are probably even more useful when you live next door to a murder with mommy issues.
In most states, tenants have a right to 24 hours notice before the property is shown. Check your local (state AND city) tenants' rights laws and then you'll know if you're allowed to bar/block the entrances when you aren't expecting anyone. (You probably are.)
A cheap rubber stopper under each door while you're home should do the trick, or you can get really secure with something like [link]
I have a question if you've really kicked down doors.
How effective do you think those bars that lock into the floor to brace the door are?
I saw one once that looked a bit like this security bar
But there were a few differences.
I've never kicked down a door, but if you've got a quality door (solid wood) that seems like it would be fairly effective and easy to implement.
Just an idea for the DIYs who don't want to go build a new home right away.
have a friend of your own put up a nanny cam in your apt. Tell your boyfriend that you don't want his friends coming over when he is not there. You live there, it is your apartment too, and this is a rule that you have the right to make. I personally think you should change the locks and only give a key to your bf. Get a gadget that keeps the door shut even without a lock. like this:[link] .make sure you tell your bf because he won''t be able to get in either.
You can get a bar which fits under your lock and prevents the door being opened. You just put it in place, no DIY skills needed. Very useful when you are home alone and at night.
It’s also a good device if you are worried someone has your key. They are available on Amazon and Lowe’s also sells them.
Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Pack of 1, White [link]
I highly recommend getting a security bar for your door. I got one when I lived alone and it provided a huge amount of peace of mind for me to know that someone couldn't just kick my door down. Also came in handy when maintenance people tried to come in without proper notice.
Also just an FYI since people are recommending Ring doorbells, just be aware that Amazon (who owns Ring) has agreements with ICE to provide data and video footage from Ring doorbells. Their security and data usage agreements are pretty questionable.
Hey there, I’m sorry you are going through this. I would say start saving up as much money as soon as you can so you can move away from this person. Living in an environment without your parents may lead to escalation of this behavior. Until then, buy a door blocker you can use when sleeping so this person can’t enter your room when sleeping. Something is better than nothing! I personally bought this for my screen door but it works on regular doors too. Doesn’t matter if the door is locked or not it will work: Master Lock 265D Door Security... [link]
Edit to add: seek therapy to help you mentally and stay away from this person as much as you can!
If your door opens inward, the Amazon door lock bar is a GREAT deterrent since it's "almost" impossible to open the door from the outside. It makes me feel a lot safer.
Master Lock Security Bar, Adjustable Door Security Bar, 265DCCSEN, 1-pack [link]
Use this to lock your door when you change
Your mom has serious boundary issues. Remove your toiletries from the bathroom after each use and keep them somewhere in your room. Anything you’re not comfortable with her using should be kept out of common spaces. Also, it’s not just weird that your mom won’t respect the boundary of NOT BEING THERE WHEN YOU CHANGE but it’s disrespectful and completely inappropriate. If you’re not comfortable with it, it’s not acceptable and honestly it’s disturbing.
you should get a portable door lock since there’s no key or some sort and it’s pretty easy to use. below is an example, i’m not affiliated with the company or anything but it seems like you could use it.
Replace the strike plate on the doorframe. Quick and easy (two screws per plate). You can get much larger / beefier plates. Also, don’t use the shitty 1” wood screws that come with it. Get some nice, solid 3” screws.
This is the #1 weakness on most doors, and the thing most people forget about. You can have a badass steel door with fancy locks, but a shitty strike plate can rip straight out of the frame.
They also make security bars that go under the doorknob and angle out a bit. Most of them have rubber “feet” so they grip better on wood or tile. Here’s an example on Amazon:
I’d also recommend adding a video doorbell. It’ll give you an alert on your phone if someone approaches your door, and give you a live video / audio feed.
If you can't install a chain, a door bar would work. As a woman who lived alone I had these on both my doors, gave me so much piece of mind, doesn't super help for her entering when you aren't home, but for when you are sleeping
Just a few security tips I learned from my dad:
1.) If you live on a floor near the ground, buy some wood to put into the window frames so they can't be forced open.
2.) Get a door bell camera for any entrances. If its a stand alone building get discreet cameras and mount them high.
3.) Get a metal post (like this: [link]) to block doors. If someone tries to get in,, it will give you time to prepare.
4.) If you open any windows or doors, make sure to stay near them.
5.) Keep small weapons hidden in each room whether its a bat, a knife, a pole, etc.
6.) Always be aware of your surroundings when you are out and about.
Best of luck with this new chapter. 🤎
Do you have good locks? Did you feel safe enough?
I got this for my temp stay in an apartment just so I didn’t have to mount anything for my year here:
Came here to say long screws in the strike plate. It makes the difference between a robbery of convenience (1/2 kick entry) and "you have to intentionally break this door down" (several kicks, takes longer, way more noticable). No doubt there's YouTube videos that prove the point.
You can also get a security door stopper, which is like those piddly little door stoppers on crack. It uses simple physics to keep the door from being opened, but this option won't working you have room mates who come home at odd hours.
It's been a while but do dorm rooms still have that cheap carpet that's basically hardwood, if so I recommend this if you're in the US, it's what my friend used.
Edit: she had a lot of high end make up she worked her butt off for and a roommate in the adjoining room who thought sharing was caring without asking.
I used to work in the ghetto and a lot of people had these for extra security. [link]
You could cet a door lock/security bar like this one. Obviously your mom would still have a key, but you could tell her that it's just for your personal safety and has nothing to do with her.
Blackout curtains, A door jammer, and a weighted blanket.
>curtains: speaks for itself, no sunlight in your face when you wake up
>jammer: peace of mind, not everyone feels its necessary though
>weighted blanket: helps you sleep so much better
Can you buy a door stopper for security? Something like this:
This person is obviously trying to unravel you. One of the best books I ever read is called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. I don’t know where you live or if you can buy from Amazon but it’s a great resource.
I’d get a door security bar to set up when your home and you don’t want anyone coming in. That’s regardless of whether you come to an agreement with your apartment complex management.
Please do get a more reliable form of home security! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this and hope you get your baby back soon. Get these to start:
Master Lock 265EC Door Security Bar, Pack of 1, White [link]
My ex couldn’t get in the doors because of these so he tried a window - do you have window/door/motion alarm sensors in case he returns?
I have a Wyze v2 pointed at my cat litter boxes to see who has been having accidents - nothing life critical at all. You need more than Wyze. Be well.
Get yourself one of these - [link]
I had one when I worked nights and lived in an apartment. If the person trying to get in is reasonable, they’ll realize the door isn’t opening and continue to knock much louder (my experience). If they’re unreasonable, you could end up with door damage. And if it is a true emergency and they force their way in, you’ll probably be liable for any damages. I was ok taking this risk.
What’s stopping the LAOP from buying a $20 door security bar like this one?
It’s entirely removable and causes no damage to the apartment. I’d be using it each and every time I came home. I’d also be checking my lease and laws for how much notice the landlord has to give and following every bureaucratic trail I could to raise hell.
God, I kinda miss living in shitty apartments when I had all the time in the world to be a paper-trail, bureaucracy-flexing asshat.
Could be removed in case of fire.
I would, you have new baby coming. So if she’s not a good sleeper and shares the room, it’ll affect your sleep too. If you want to feel better about the exterior door, maybe buy one of those security bars, here’s one on Amazon
security bar .
Reach out to the police anyway, don't assume they can't help you, give it a try. Definitely try to stay elsewhere for a while, maybe friends he doesn't know about, make sure he has no way to track you so you won't put them in danger.
You can also rack up security around the house,
check amazon for some security equipment, I kkow they have alarms and cameras that you can install at yout front door, alarms for the windows, stuff like this
thereare also safety bars dor window that don't require drilling holes and a protective film you can stick on glass so it doesn't shatter when broken
Hey man you might want to check out a door barricade like this. You prop it under the doorknob/against the floor and it makes it basically impossible to open the door. Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, White [link]
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and that you don’t feel safe in your own home. I’m sorry your parents don’t seem to be supporting you in all of this. Don’t be afraid to do what’s best for you. hugs
Edit: changed the link bc it posted wonky. You can get one at Lowe’s or Home Depot though if you don’t want to wait for Amazon. I hear they’re planning a strike tomorrow anyway.
I would recommend this over that little thing.
This isn't visible from the outside. I have gotten them in Target.
Studying lots of different cameras, but in the meantime, is this the kind of bar you're talking about?
I can't solve your apparent ghost problem.
>...we started propping chairs against the front door.
Please stop that. Buy a security bar for that. They are dirt cheap and work 10x better than a chair. This is an absolute must for apartment living.
Just a note for anyone who might be able to use it: You can get a locking (exterior) doorknob from home depot for under $20, and all you need to install it is a screwdriver. It takes less than five minutes even if you aren't mechanically inclined. We had a nightmare 3-story townhouse with like fifty potential entrances so I replaced every doorknob in the place to make it harder to get in from the garage or main-floor sliding door. It was really fast. Also hd (or Lowe's) will rekey them for you if they're compatible with your other locks, so you can choose which keys to use with which locks.
Also there are more temporary things on Amazon like travel/hotel locks and door bars, if you don't want to risk getting in trouble w landlord. [link] They are just less robust, I think, and take more vigilance.
It sounds like your NMom expected this to happen or it's happened before which is worrying. Please remember that none of this is your fault! And while you did mention you want to protect your brothers, you might have to make a very difficult decision to include the police, especially if this escalates (there is also a chance he might try to molest your brothers).
For now, I would highly suggest talking to a school counselor (not sure how old you are) or calling child/adult sexual abuse services hotline. It's better to find out your options so that instead of simply being quiet because you are afraid, you can plan. Confide in a friend so that if you need a place to quickly escape too, you can already have that backup. Start planning your escape when you feel comfortable doing so and make sure to get all of your papers (social, ID's, medical etc.)
As for the very right now, improvise a lock using heavy furniture. If you can buy a security bar ([link]) or buy a door knob with a lock and install it (I did mine just by learning from Youtube).
Hopefully it was just some drunk neighborhood kid accidentally wandering into the wrong yard, but trying a doorknob to see if it's unlocked is a really common way thieves get into homes. We recently installed Door Armor (it's on Amazon) that basically makes your door very difficult to kick down. If you don't want to commit to that (because it does drill into your doorjamb) you could look into a security bar which just jams itself under your doorknob to secure the door. It won't stop someone forever, but it will slow them down enough (and cause them to make enough noise) that they will likely abandon.
Also, it's a good idea alert all your neighbors so everyone is paying attention (which is probably what your neighbor was thinking, so good for her).
I'm so sorry. Getting broken into feels like such a violation. Kiddo and I came in just as they went out the back door when it happened to us.
The cops suggested we also get one of these for when we are at home: Master Lock 265DCCSEN Dual-Function Security Bar [link]
They work really well and are nearly impossible to get past. Hubby is a very weighty guy and couldn't budge them. It helped me feel safe again in my own home, which is the hard part. Hugs.
Simple - purchase a door bar that locks the shower room door from the bathroom. This, of course, assumes that the doors to the shower room open in to the bathroom. With this, each roommate can lock the occupant of the shower room from entering the other bathroom.
Then, from the shower room, simply purchase bathroom doorknobs with a lock on one side and no keys. Therefore, when the shower is in use, the door can be locked by the occupant.
Of course, the shower occupant will have to remember to unlock the door when they are done.
Replacing the screws goes a decent way to making the door harder to break in. Most screws used be default are only enough to hang the weight of the door for the hinges, and enough to simply surface-mount hardware like the strike plate. Replacing screws in the hinges and strike plates with longer ones that can reach the door frame significantly increase the force needed to break the door in.
For while you're home, something like this can go even farther to securing the door, but it obviously can't be used while you're away.
It might be a bit much to give into anxiety this much, but this is a door brace that could give you peace of mind. I've actually got one for my place because I'm on the ground floor.
Did they just kick in the door?
My apartment is on the 2nd floor and has a front and back door. I've got the back door locked down tight with a bar like this. I want to secure the front door more. I've heard that long, thick screws will prevent the door from being kicked in.
This is how apt managers scam you. Also there is the fact that there are many renters who do DIY and ruin things.
This would be helpful.
Also dont worry about deadbolt. The real issue is the door frame. No matter how strong is your dead bolt, if the door frame gives up, you are soup.
boy, isn't it creepy to know someone has been in your place? I've had one break-in which I discovered after coming home from a party and yeah, you gotta wonder are they still here?
And then a maintenance man in the building I live in was coming in to my place in an apparent attempt to scare me in to moving out. Too cowardly to attack me personally but had zero issues with coming in to my apartment and leaving evidence behind that he was here. Bizarre and very scary.
edit, now I use a buddy bar - essentially this thing - when I'm at home, usually even during the day. It's prevented maintenance from coming into my place at least once when I was in the other room and didn't hear the guy knocking.
If you're worried about someone having the keys to your place (previous tenant, Apartment managers, etc) I would highly suggest getting one of these and using it while you are sleeping.
Here's an example of one on amazon [link] they just go under the door handle securely so the handle can't be turned. They usually have little stoppers on the bottom too so they resist if someone tries to come through the door.
Install some additional security on your door- yes, it means you waking up to engage them- but I bet you'll sleep better once she leaves:
I'll add to what my fellow /k/omrade said that you should also invest in some door bars. Like this.
I have family in law enforcement who have encountered these either when investigating break-ins or while trying to make entry to a home. They make it very difficult to kick a door in and don't require any modification to the door or its frame. Someone who is very determined may still get in but it will at least buy you some time.
As for guns, look for a cheap shotgun. Shotguns are simple, cheap, and very effective at home defense ranges. Maverick 88s and Pardner Pump Protectors are clones of the Mossberg 500 and Remington 870 respectively and can be had for well under $200. Some would argue they are just as good as their more expensive counterparts just with slightly cheaper finishes. I own a Pardner Pump and it's a great gun. If you get one, keep it on the downlow and learn how to shoot it. Keep it loaded and hide it somewhere in the house where you can get to it easily but where it won't be found by someone else.
If a gun is out of the question you can at least get a knife. Check out your local sporting goods store and look for something made in America with a full tang bade. Buck is a brand that comes to mind but there are others that will suffice. You want something sharp and long with a sturdy blade.
And finally, be sure you have something covering all of your windows. Even if you have to put a piece of paper or a blanket over them. I can't tell you how many homes in my neighborhood have wide open blinds and curtains during the night. You can see right into their home. Don't do that. Keep your curtains closed so that someone can't just walk by and be able to see right in.
Won't matter much to OP if he/she is buying, but for renters who have these kinds of issues, consider spending $20 on one of these. I picked one up after a maintenance guy let himself in unannounced a few years ago and now I use it whenever I'm at home. Won't help with landlord/management entering your apartment when you're not home of course, but should prevent any surprises while you're there. Plus it's a little added piece of mind if you have a typical cheap rental unit door and lock.
I sell these a lot in my shop, does it's job fairly well.
Master Lock door bar
you can also try something like the door bars. This puts the pressure onto the floor and will block the door.
I’m pretty sure I know something similar to the sticks you’re describing. You can get a high quality one for $20 off of Amazon: Master Lock Security Bar, Adjustable Door Security Bar. They’re telescoping/sliding metal pole thingies that you force under the doorknob (on your side of the door). You need to adjust the height of the rod to fight your doorknob snugly. This basically makes it impossible for anybody to enter from the other side unless they somehow destroy the door.
Edit: there’s also this: Doorricade Door Bar
That definitely sounds scary and sketchy and just like, bad overall.
As others have suggested, definitely try to change your locks if possible. As an additional measure - or if a lock change isn't feasible - you could invest in a security bar. They're like $20 on Amazon ( https://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-Security-Adjustable-White/dp/B0002YUX8I ) and they make it basically impossible to open the door. It'll only work while you or someone else is in the apartment, but it can at least make you feel safer when you're there.
As for when you aren't present, I'm not sure what kind of options there are for door locks, not to mention what regulations your lease might have in place. But if I were you I would definitely invest in something lockable for all of the "evidence" (aka the sex toys/love letters/etc). I know it sucks being in the closet - I'm right there with you on that front, though thankfully my parents don't suspect a thing - but you said you only have a year until you're financially independent and with as threatening as their actions have already been you need to be as safe as possible.
Additionally, there are some check-in and safety apps available these days that could be quite helpful for when you're interacting with your family. The ones that are supposed to prevent Uber and Taxi drivers from kidnapping you and make walking home from parties safer. Here's a list of some of them: https://www.oxygen.com/crime-time/free-smartphone-safety-apps-keep-people-safe
Circle of 6, Silent Beacon, and SOS Stay Safe all sound like good options, but it depends on the situation and how much access you think you'll have to your phone in the event of an emergency.
Bar the door when you are home and lock things up when you're not. Try to think of ways you can throw them off. Focus on being believable. Is there a male celebrity you like - perhaps Chris Hemsworth, patron saint of lesbians? I'm a lesbian but I can still appreciate aesthetics, so I work based off of that. You could follow him on social media if you don't already, maybe branch out from there. Find a new-ish movie with a new-ish male actor and start gushing. Got any male friends you really trust? Get one of them in on it. Talk about him as if your GF (who to them is your friend) got a BF. Or pretend you have a BF.
But remember to only do what you can tolerate. If the idea of a fake BF makes either of you uncomfortable, don't do it. Especially not if you don't have a guy friend you trust implicitly. Or maybe a gay guy friend (or couple) you can work with to keep you all sneaky (there's an app idea, Match but for couples trying to make the closet more believable.
Unfortunately, I don't know you or your family well enough to give more specific advice. Just remember, the best lies are based in truths and exaggerations or twistings thereof. It's much harder to get caught in a lie that way. Best friend is a guy and willing to get in on it - you love your friend? now add emphasis to "love" not a lie, just a misleading truth. Think male actor is nice aesthetically speaking? They're hot now. 10/10 would bang. Etc, etc.
Hopefully everything is fine and the creepiness was unintentional/a big misunderstanding/etc. But it's better to be safe than to be sorry. You've made it this far and all that's left is a year. Keep hanging in there until you're home free.
Also get a security bar if you're concerned about it happening in the future.
You need a fox lock. I use them when I travel.
I don't have much advice about the civil side of things.
The sidebar has home security tips, and the Helpful Links of the /r/raisedbynarcissists page has a lot of good ideas. Save Barking for last. You will need the laugh.
There are these for when you are at home, and you can cut 1/2 inch dowel rods to stick in windows, too. I don't have a link, but there are automatic sprinklers that are pest deterrents that work on motion sensors. They sometimes have a remote "on" or test mode that you can trigger from your phone.
If at any time she gets arrested, you can go to Vinelink to register to be told when she is released. You do not need to document a relationship to her, and if YS is in school, her school can register on their own. All Vine does is tell you when she is released or transferred, but it will give you a heads up.
If any of the issues are criminal rather than civil, and she is arrested in conjunction with those charges, you may be able to get a no contact order or a restraining order rubber stamped during the bail hearing. Talk to your lawyer (or is it just your Dad's now?) about that. You may also be able to approach the prosecutor. If you haven't started your composition notebook, do it now and take it with you when you talk to the prosecutor.
You will probably have to go through your dad on this, but get a copy of the summons given to her. If the extinction burst becomes a lawn tantrum, you can show that to the cops. If there are any arrest reports, get those too (they are public record) along with the conditions of her release. In my case, exH's bail document stated he could not have contact with any minor, so that was my "RO" until he pled out.
I can't remember where you stand on contact with Uneasy Rider, or if you have started the C&D/RO path yet. You can probably get your dad's lawyer to draft a C&D to her laying out just what kind of contact you want or don't want with her. If you are just starting process, you may want the letter to arrive soon after or at the same time the summons does.
This is the Home Security post from the sidebar:
I have seen this at Target: https://smile.amazon.com/Master-Lock-Security-Adjustable-White/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1542929372&sr=8-3&keywords=master+lock+door+security+bar It goes under your doorknob and jams the door shut. There are other varieties. These things are not as secure as the lock, but may be easier to find. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/slredirect/picassoRedirect.html/ref=pa_sp_atf_office-products_sr_pg1_1?ie=UTF8&adId=A01426263P8S8GL1JKA3Y&url=https%3A%2F%2Fsmile.amazon.com%2Fstopper-Flexible-Non-Toxic-Odorless-Doorstops%2Fdp%2FB078ZZD6C1%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1_sspa%3Fs%3Doffice-products%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1542929438%26sr%3D1-1-spons%26keywords%3Drubber%2Bdoor%2Bstop%2Bwedge%26psc%3D1&qualifier=1542929438&id=4534190909643049&widgetName=sp_atf
If you can spare about $20, something like this door security bar would be more effective than a chair. Be safe!
> those safety alarms
Or something like this: [link] If you set it up correctly (and test it out), it should be much harder to force the door open.
While I recognize your question is about the legal aspect of breaking your lease, there are some things you can do to help yourself feel safer while you’re sorting out the rest.
One thing you can do is to reinforce your door frame against it being kicked in. It’s really cheap and easy, and I did this to my apartment just a few months back. This news video shows why it’s helpful. Basically, just get some 3” screws, and replace the short screws that hold the strike plate (the part that looks like this) for both the door knob and the deadbolt on your door. The idea is that the longer screws anchor the frame into the actual wall, instead of only to itself. It’s much harder for people to kick in.
You can also brace your door knob from the inside, like a fancier version of sticking a chair under the knob to hold it. The security braces aren’t too expensive, about $20. Keep in mind that if you want to use this type of brace, it will people out, but it will also keep you in. If you have a fire or other emergency where you need to leave quickly, be prepared to remove this device. Practice with it so that you don’t get yourself trapped.
You could also consider motion activated alarms or lights, or a camera system, or other similar types of defense systems, but these get complex and expensive quite quickly. Still worth looking into, but it’s a rabbit hole!
I really appreciate the subreddit r/homedefense because they have great methods of beefing up your own home security, but they don’t just tell you to buy a gun. The idea is that a weapon is the last resort, and if you have good preventive security, it won’t have to come to that.
Best of luck and feel free to PM me if you’d like! My husband and I would be happy to help you out.
Jam one of these in there...
NTA. If the doors open into your room invest in some of these. [link]
These are much cheaper.
The other thing that would be smart is for you to have your own cameras. You can get them on Amazon. Or you can order them from a retailer's website and pick them up at the store so you don't have to have them mailed to the house.
The other thing you can do is get one of these for your bedroom door. https://smile.amazon.com/Master-Lock-Security-Adjustable-White/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1539553114&sr=8-4&keywords=door+stopper I have seen them at Target. Or, there is thishttps://smile.amazon.com/Home-Premium-Rubber-Door-Stopper/dp/B01NGYKARV/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1539553114&sr=8-5&keywords=door+stopper. It won't work as well to block the door from the outside, but is cheaper and not as visible and easier to hide. A deadbolt would be best, but N's kinda resent that.
You can use this: [link]
Perhaps, instead of a chain (although use extra long screws if you do), use something like this or this. The idea is that if she opens the door, she will see the chain. She cannot open the door at all with these options, and they can be tucked away so that she does not see them when she is over.
A dowel rod cut to length will fit into the track of a sliding door. You want as thick a rod as will fit in the track. Something like this at the top or even the bottom if you don't want her to see the dowel.
There are ways to set her contact, and her contact only up on do not disturb. If you are calling out, then you can set your whole phone on DND.
This is pretty much everything I would have added! Great post!
I also bought a couple of these last year when my neighborhood had a rash of door-bustings: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002YUX8I/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Assuming you're in an apartment then. You could also install a stronger strike plate, even if you have to replace it with the old one when you move out that's super easy to do.
You could also use something like this. Not great security, but it might help a little.
Depending on what the area around your door frame is like, you might be able to install a bar like this. If there's drywall on both sides of the door frame and wood beneath, you could screw the brackets into the wood, then just remove it and patch the drywall holes when you move out.
So sorry you have to deal with that. How uncomfortable.
You can also buy one of these security bars:
NTA but op you should buy a door blocker that you put under the handle so she can't open the door since you arent allowed to get locks.
Also one of these. (Pretty link function not cooperating.)
Try amazon smile to donate to a charity of your choice automatically at no cost to you!
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Its a little more extreme, but consider getting the following :
Works like a charm, and it's also good for keeping out burglars
That’s terrifying! Window gates, a security camera that has a light or alarm with motion detectors and I would also get one of those door jammer bars.
I’d purchase this if I were you.
I am very worried for you. T is incredibly disturbing. He is like this with just you? A psychopath can't easily hide himself behind a facade ALL THE TIME. Are there any teachers, friends, classmates, girlfriends who said similar things about T? If your parents and brothers won't believe just you, you need other people who agree with what you're saying.
What disturbs me most is T trying to break into your room and bathroom. I'm worried he wants to do something very bad to you. I want you to get a door jammer, like one of these: https://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-Security-Adjustable-White/dp/B0002YUX8I. It's only $20. Stick it on your door at night, and T can't get into your room without literally smashing down the door (and he can't do that without raising questions). I doubt he'd complain to your parents, because what good reason does he have trying to break into your room at night?
Get a pepper gel. I'm not sure what state you're in, but a pepper spray or gel is legal in most. Keep it constantly on your person and another one in your bedside table or under your bed. If the worst happens, you can knock even a grown man down with a good shot of pepper spray at the eyes.
I suspect T doesn't terrorize your other brothers because they're older and stronger than him. Not your fault, obviously. Learn a few self-defense techniques: kicking/twisting balls, punch to the Adam's Apple, biting, scratching with nails.
Try to convince your parents to let you move to another room on the first or second floor. Since they won't believe you about T, say something like, "I don't want to share a bathroom with a boy, I'm embarrassed to have my feminine products out, etc." Swap rooms with one of your older twin brothers, since they'll be away at college anyways. Say it's too cold or too hot on the third floor, or complain, "T stays up at night and watches videos on his phone really loudly so I can't sleep. The second floor would be quieter."
Long-term, T needs to be out of your life. If you can, I want you to record the times T says these creepy things to you so that you can show your parents. Hopefully they stage an intervention and gets T some help.
If they still don't believe you, you need to move out as soon as you can. Research scholarships for college (in case your family refuses to support you), find good friends who can take you in. Are there any sympathetic relatives, like an aunt or cousin?
Is T planning on going to college, and if so, would he be out of the house?
In that case, just buy one of these (or a similar, competing product) and don’t worry about it.
Any Home Depot should sell these.
Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in., White [link]
My brother suggested this: Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in., White [link]
No lock on the door? Sounds like you need one of these, friend.
[link] Maybe use that and then find a peg that can go through all 4 holes and lock it that way?
Here's the one i use. As you can see, it's really simple but it's quite effective at keeping people out. Master Lock 265DCCSEN Dual-Function Security Bar [link]
Try one of these.
If it is only for when you are home, would this device work?
For less messy amazon links you can extract the part after "/dp/" in
and make it:
Or via smile link:
Plz send any recommendations via PM
i'd also get a dashboard camera
and probably your own house camera. or just your mom staying home 1 day to catch/video the person from across the field after enticing them to video yall
see the guide on the sidebar.
oh, and maybe one of these (see comments for hacks also)
Sorry, I know this kind of technical fix is half-assed at best, but ...
You can also use something like this,
These things are kinda nifty.
Edit, I didn't read comments.